Bad Interview Moments Forum

[UnamSanctam]

IDK I think the lunch story about weirdly eating too much food while everyone talks over your head like you're a toddler is pretty bad

Yeah I think it's awkward.

[El Pollito]

it's awkward and he should get no offered for it but why was it so fucking long

[Tanicius]

it's awkward and he should get no offered for it but why was it so fucking long

Well we needed to know what the weather was because that's why they went out to get country food.

[NotMyRealName09]

eating ridiculous amounts of food as an SA is what you are supposed to do. its like the partners whose metabolisms have gone to shit live vicariously through it. i cherished those awkward moments when the partner forced me to order and eat dessert alone while he/she watched and drank decaf.

I ate a shit ton of Ruebens during my SA, food memories are sorta great.

[rpupkin]

In retrospect, I was too harsh on that post. It's full of 180 lines, such as:

They hire 1L SA's because they only offer about one SA every 7 years, on average.

I eat the beautiful tomatoes, all of them.

Hell, I'm almost full. I don't even care about acting smart or sneaking in a response to a partner's long conversation about the enforceability of a contract with multiple contingent material terms including a commodity price that changed in a way not contemplated by the parties at formation.

[JusticeJackson]

.

[DELG]

The dude ordered the family meal, didn't realize it, didn't offer to share, and ate it all. I don't care that he didn't join the conversation about law -- in general 1L summers don't have much to add in that department -- I'm honestly amazed that he was able to eat that much food. He probably won't get an offer, but I'd bet $100 people at the firm are talking about this lunch in 5 years.

Yep

[baal hadad]

I wouldn't say it's a horror story but I found just reading that to be awkward

[rpupkin]

The dude ordered the family meal, didn't realize it, didn't offer to share, and ate it all.

He didn't offer to share "because math." Yeah, there's no way he's copping that once-every-seven-years offer after that gaffe.

[Anonymous User]

Change of pace for this thread so a little bit of setup.

Prosecutor interviews nearly always have a hypothetical of what would you do/what's your ethical obligation. They constantly adjust the facts as it goes and generally challenge you on everything you say in the interview and try to trip you up or paint you in a corner. They want to see you improvise an argument and defend a point.
2nd Round Panel interview for a major metro DA's office (My top choice).
So I'm 20 minutes into the hypothetical that has gone far beyond the original fact pattern and procedural posture, and I think I'm nailing it with my Brady obligations.

LEFT: "Well, guess what? The judge overrules your objection because she's pissed you didn't disclose the existence of a Confidential Informant before the hearing and the Officer has to say the C.I.'s name in open court."
ME: Uh--
MIDDLE: "Someone in the courtroom has just sent a text out and C.I. Chunky is dead."
LEFT: "Is your answer the same NOW?"
ME (trying to gracefully backtrack): "Well I can see now there may be strategic reasons to disclose the existence of a C.I. that depart from one's obligations. I'll chalk this one up to my lack of experience working with C.I.'s, which given Chunky's demise, is probably a good thing for them."
{awkward, polite chuckles}

Later in the interview

RIGHT: "So that's pretty much everything, do you have any questions for us?"
ME: "How long until I get to work with C.I.s?"
{silence}
ME: "OK. Sounds good. I look forward to hearing back from your office."

Still waiting...

[Anonymous User]

This happened a few months ago...but at the end of my interview with a V20 firm, I went to the standard lunch with 2 associates. One of them made a 3/5 compromise joke out of nowhere in the middle of conversation. I shook my head with a grin and said "you're horrible"...but like what can I do? Can't act super offended...can't laugh. It was an automatic no-offer moment. Wouldn't have gotten one no matter what my reaction. Didn't get one.


Going to a different V20 firm so its ok.

[Old Gregg]

This happened a few months ago...but at the end of my interview with a V20 firm, I went to the standard lunch with 2 associates. One of them made a 3/5 compromise joke out of nowhere in the middle of conversation. I shook my head with a grin and said "you're horrible"...but like what can I do? Can't act super offended...can't laugh. It was an automatic no-offer moment. Wouldn't have gotten one no matter what my reaction. Didn't get one.


Going to a different V20 firm so its ok.

you're an idiot. thank you for the useless vault ranks and the useless fucking story thats not that bad

[fats provolone]

that post was physically painful to read

[Danger Zone]

[baal hadad]

This image macro gave me cancer

[Anonymous User]

Change of pace for this thread so a little bit of setup.

Prosecutor interviews nearly always have a hypothetical of what would you do/what's your ethical obligation. They constantly adjust the facts as it goes and generally challenge you on everything you say in the interview and try to trip you up or paint you in a corner. They want to see you improvise an argument and defend a point.
2nd Round Panel interview for a major metro DA's office (My top choice).
So I'm 20 minutes into the hypothetical that has gone far beyond the original fact pattern and procedural posture, and I think I'm nailing it with my Brady obligations.

LEFT: "Well, guess what? The judge overrules your objection because she's pissed you didn't disclose the existence of a Confidential Informant before the hearing and the Officer has to say the C.I.'s name in open court."
ME: Uh--
MIDDLE: "Someone in the courtroom has just sent a text out and C.I. Chunky is dead."
LEFT: "Is your answer the same NOW?"
ME (trying to gracefully backtrack): "Well I can see now there may be strategic reasons to disclose the existence of a C.I. that depart from one's obligations. I'll chalk this one up to my lack of experience working with C.I.'s, which given Chunky's demise, is probably a good thing for them."
{awkward, polite chuckles}

Later in the interview

RIGHT: "So that's pretty much everything, do you have any questions for us?"
ME: "How long until I get to work with C.I.s?"
{silence}
ME: "OK. Sounds good. I look forward to hearing back from your office."

Still waiting...

[Danger Zone]

This image macro gave me cancer

[RaceJudicata]

This happened a few months ago...but at the end of my interview with a V20 firm, I went to the standard lunch with 2 associates. One of them made a 3/5 compromise joke out of nowhere in the middle of conversation. I shook my head with a grin and said "you're horrible"...but like what can I do? Can't act super offended...can't laugh. It was an automatic no-offer moment. Wouldn't have gotten one no matter what my reaction. Didn't get one.


Going to a different V20 firm so its ok.

If it was a V5 would your reaction have been different?!

[Monochromatic Oeuvre]

This happened a few months ago...but at the end of my interview with a V20 firm, I went to the standard lunch with 2 associates. One of them made a 3/5 compromise joke out of nowhere in the middle of conversation. I shook my head with a grin and said "you're horrible"...but like what can I do? Can't act super offended...can't laugh. It was an automatic no-offer moment. Wouldn't have gotten one no matter what my reaction. Didn't get one.


Going to a different V20 firm so its ok.

Yeah, how unfortunate that there's no middle ground between "HAHAHAHA BLACKS AM I RIGHT" and "YOUR COMMENT HAS TRIGGERED ME, THIS IS NO LONGER A SAFE SPACE, SOUND THE PRIVILEGE ALARM" that, you know, non-aspies would've gone for.

[Danger Zone]

This happened a few months ago...but at the end of my interview with a V20 firm, I went to the standard lunch with 2 associates. One of them made a 3/5 compromise joke out of nowhere in the middle of conversation. I shook my head with a grin and said "you're horrible"...but like what can I do? Can't act super offended...can't laugh. It was an automatic no-offer moment. Wouldn't have gotten one no matter what my reaction. Didn't get one.


Going to a different V20 firm so its ok.

Yeah, how unfortunate that there's no middle ground between "HAHAHAHA BLACKS AM I RIGHT" and "YOUR COMMENT HAS TRIGGERED ME, THIS IS NO LONGER A SAFE SPACE, SOUND THE PRIVILEGE ALARM" that, you know, non-aspies would've gone for.

All he said was "you're horrible." I imagine he said it with a laugh and smile, not like "OMG YOU'RE HORRIBLE AND I'M TRIGGERED." Doesn't seem that bad at all.

[AReasonableMan]

Can't decide if this was bad:

Have pittsburgh sports fan on resume. AM fan, but it was early monday and hadn't watched the game on sunday or read about it. Interviewer says "how about rothelesburger" who had just had season ending injury. I dislike the player, since he's a rapist, and gave sort of a dissapointed "yeah...." and we moved on to have a lovely interview otherewise.

This is an honors program so I've had plenty of time to stew on this. Bad?

So I take it you aren't a Steelers fan?

If all of your SA is a job interview, as is the common wisdom, then this lunch during my 1L SA should count. General background: It's a small but well-respected firm where I'd really like to get a job. The partners are laid-back but very intelligent and sophisticated, as well as at least somewhat judgmental. They're looking for a personality fit and similar traits. They hire 1L SA's because they only offer about one SA every 7 years, on average. My law school OCI director told me it's the best job that comes to campus in terms of pay vs. hours worked. The point? I want this job. Interview, check, callback, done, two weeks of summer OCI go great, and then...today.

It's a June day with perfect weather, and the partners are particularly talkative. Owing to that and sheer caprice and coincidence with various schedules, we head to lunch with a large group for us: three partners, two senior associates, and me. We're in the firm lobby, shooting the shit about where to go to lunch, and an "important" call comes for someone, then another, and then everyone (still in good spirits) decides we all just need to leave because we're 20 minutes late to lunch and fucking hungry. We hop in a partner's Yukon and hightail it to the outskirts of town, just for the hell of it, where we go to what is basically a truck stop / diner that is known to have great comfort food. It's packed, like 200 people in there. We find a table, and on the way I notice a chalkboard with SPECIAL at the top and several listings, too many to read as we quickly walk by. I do, however, notice at the very bottom there is listed: 2-pc Walleye with sides - $x.xx.

Now, I've always been a believer that you should order the special when you're out to lunch in this type of situation. I mean, it's the special, what could go wrong? It's all ready, it won't take long, they won't screw it up, and you won't stand out for ordering something strange. Besides, walleye sounded great. What a perfect day. Everyone in a great mood, going to this cool greasy spoon off the beaten path, laughing about it, and I ordered the special.

Well, shit. You know where this is heading.

The first problem is when the waitress nearly immediately brings the bread. Not bread for the table, but bread in a basket for one and handed directly to me. Despite the small basket, it's way too much bread. Like four hot wheat rolls with butter. Well, I'm cutting into the bread because goddamnit I'm going to eat whatever I get because IT'S THE SPECIAL, and all the lawyers are talking about real lawyer stuff and I'm trying to get in a word to offer this delicious hot pile of starch to other people. Then I realize that I don't have enough bread for everyone to get one, so this could get really awkward. So I'm eating bread. And the lawyers are talking. And looking at me. And talking. And I'm not offering anyone bread because they're talking and it's awkward and because math. But it's pretty good. And they're still looking at me because it's at least 45 minutes after everyone normally eats lunch and people are hungry.

Then comes a lengthy wait during which a few folks mention how busy it is and that they are hungry and could use some food. Alas, here comes the salad! Uh, turns out it's not for everyone. It's actually not for anyone else but me. Great, I love salad for lunch. So 90 seconds later the conversation between the real lawyers hits that awkward waiting-for-food lull when everyone has a conversation bubble above their heads that reads "I enjoyed that conversation, I guess, but I really want my french dip," and the managing partner breaks the silence by loudly asking me, with a special artificial, trochaic joviality reserved for cynical career litigators, "HOW'S the SAL-ad?" And I'm thinking "IT'S FUCKING DELICIOUS AND YOU WOULD LOVE IT" but I really just kind of meekly shrug and mutter, "Yeah, it's, uh, yeah, I think it's got homemade ranch." Silence. "And the tomatoes are ... beautiful." *poke at a cherry tomato* *fucking poke, poke, roll, look around* *shitthey'restilllookingatme, poke, it rolllllls away, STAB, roll, pick that bitch up with fingers, om nom*

I eat the beautiful tomatoes, all of them. And the ranch and romaine and whatever. The next ten minutes are awesome for me. Hell, I'm almost full. I don't even care about acting smart or sneaking in a response to a partner's long conversation about the enforceability of a contract with multiple contingent material terms including a commodity price that changed in a way not contemplated by the parties at formation. My eyes are open but my brain is saying, "Nap time, bitch."

Then the walleye comes. Two huge fillets with homemade creamy coleslaw on a 14" plate that dwarfs every other meal at the table. It's delicious. I eat it all. Don't get me wrong: I don't want to. I'm utterly stuffed after eating 52% of it, but I ordered this goddamned thing and I'm not going to be ungrateful on the firm's dime.

Moral of the story: Ordering the special for lunch at a greasy spoon is a good idea. Not noticing that you personally, individually ordered something under the "Family Dinner Special" heading at one of the most important lunches of your life is not such a good idea.

None of this sounds bad.

They're a very good writer. It is an entertaining read despite the fact that nothing interesting happens.

[Monochromatic Oeuvre]

All he said was "you're horrible." I imagine he said it with a laugh and smile, not like "OMG YOU'RE HORRIBLE AND I'M TRIGGERED." Doesn't seem that bad at all.

I don't think I would've said anything, but yeah, not that awful a response if that's really what it was. Definitely wouldn't have been the reason he didn't get an offer, so I don't know why he's saying it absolutely was.

[Anonymous User]

Part of me thinks they probably knew he was going to get rejected anyway. I had callbacks where the last interviewer brought up inappropriate subjects. Even the people they send to lunch seem to be impacted by how the prior interviews went. At some places I got rejected from, I had utter weirdos. At others, the opposite. When I say weirdos, I refer to individuals who are objectively weirdos so it's not a matter of fit.

[NotMyRealName09]

Can't decide if this was bad:

Have pittsburgh sports fan on resume. AM fan, but it was early monday and hadn't watched the game on sunday or read about it. Interviewer says "how about rothelesburger" who had just had season ending injury. I dislike the player, since he's a rapist, and gave sort of a dissapointed "yeah...." and we moved on to have a lovely interview otherewise.

This is an honors program so I've had plenty of time to stew on this. Bad?

So I take it you aren't a Steelers fan?

If all of your SA is a job interview, as is the common wisdom, then this lunch during my 1L SA should count. General background: It's a small but well-respected firm where I'd really like to get a job. The partners are laid-back but very intelligent and sophisticated, as well as at least somewhat judgmental. They're looking for a personality fit and similar traits. They hire 1L SA's because they only offer about one SA every 7 years, on average. My law school OCI director told me it's the best job that comes to campus in terms of pay vs. hours worked. The point? I want this job. Interview, check, callback, done, two weeks of summer OCI go great, and then...today.

It's a June day with perfect weather, and the partners are particularly talkative. Owing to that and sheer caprice and coincidence with various schedules, we head to lunch with a large group for us: three partners, two senior associates, and me. We're in the firm lobby, shooting the shit about where to go to lunch, and an "important" call comes for someone, then another, and then everyone (still in good spirits) decides we all just need to leave because we're 20 minutes late to lunch and fucking hungry. We hop in a partner's Yukon and hightail it to the outskirts of town, just for the hell of it, where we go to what is basically a truck stop / diner that is known to have great comfort food. It's packed, like 200 people in there. We find a table, and on the way I notice a chalkboard with SPECIAL at the top and several listings, too many to read as we quickly walk by. I do, however, notice at the very bottom there is listed: 2-pc Walleye with sides - $x.xx.

Now, I've always been a believer that you should order the special when you're out to lunch in this type of situation. I mean, it's the special, what could go wrong? It's all ready, it won't take long, they won't screw it up, and you won't stand out for ordering something strange. Besides, walleye sounded great. What a perfect day. Everyone in a great mood, going to this cool greasy spoon off the beaten path, laughing about it, and I ordered the special.

Well, shit. You know where this is heading.

The first problem is when the waitress nearly immediately brings the bread. Not bread for the table, but bread in a basket for one and handed directly to me. Despite the small basket, it's way too much bread. Like four hot wheat rolls with butter. Well, I'm cutting into the bread because goddamnit I'm going to eat whatever I get because IT'S THE SPECIAL, and all the lawyers are talking about real lawyer stuff and I'm trying to get in a word to offer this delicious hot pile of starch to other people. Then I realize that I don't have enough bread for everyone to get one, so this could get really awkward. So I'm eating bread. And the lawyers are talking. And looking at me. And talking. And I'm not offering anyone bread because they're talking and it's awkward and because math. But it's pretty good. And they're still looking at me because it's at least 45 minutes after everyone normally eats lunch and people are hungry.

Then comes a lengthy wait during which a few folks mention how busy it is and that they are hungry and could use some food. Alas, here comes the salad! Uh, turns out it's not for everyone. It's actually not for anyone else but me. Great, I love salad for lunch. So 90 seconds later the conversation between the real lawyers hits that awkward waiting-for-food lull when everyone has a conversation bubble above their heads that reads "I enjoyed that conversation, I guess, but I really want my french dip," and the managing partner breaks the silence by loudly asking me, with a special artificial, trochaic joviality reserved for cynical career litigators, "HOW'S the SAL-ad?" And I'm thinking "IT'S FUCKING DELICIOUS AND YOU WOULD LOVE IT" but I really just kind of meekly shrug and mutter, "Yeah, it's, uh, yeah, I think it's got homemade ranch." Silence. "And the tomatoes are ... beautiful." *poke at a cherry tomato* *fucking poke, poke, roll, look around* *shitthey'restilllookingatme, poke, it rolllllls away, STAB, roll, pick that bitch up with fingers, om nom*

I eat the beautiful tomatoes, all of them. And the ranch and romaine and whatever. The next ten minutes are awesome for me. Hell, I'm almost full. I don't even care about acting smart or sneaking in a response to a partner's long conversation about the enforceability of a contract with multiple contingent material terms including a commodity price that changed in a way not contemplated by the parties at formation. My eyes are open but my brain is saying, "Nap time, bitch."

Then the walleye comes. Two huge fillets with homemade creamy coleslaw on a 14" plate that dwarfs every other meal at the table. It's delicious. I eat it all. Don't get me wrong: I don't want to. I'm utterly stuffed after eating 52% of it, but I ordered this goddamned thing and I'm not going to be ungrateful on the firm's dime.

Moral of the story: Ordering the special for lunch at a greasy spoon is a good idea. Not noticing that you personally, individually ordered something under the "Family Dinner Special" heading at one of the most important lunches of your life is not such a good idea.

None of this sounds bad.

They're a very good writer. It is an entertaining read despite the fact that nothing interesting happens.

Why did you just slip in a "whoa, didn't realize this was family sized! Who wants to help me kill this bread?"

[fats provolone]

BECAUSE MATH HEEHEE