As a small-firm partner, understand that we sometimes run ads for associates just to gauge the level of desperation out there, and also to "jaw-drop" at the sheer quantity (and quality) of resumes that come pouring in like a monsoon.
Any non-Biglaw firm paying a newbie anything more than $10 to $12 an hour is crazy. The supply-demand metrics are so absurdly in favor of the employers it's downright comical.
You're either just a troll or an animal who doesn't belong in the field of law. Get the hell out. You're a terrible person and probably a terrible lawyer.
P.S. Ever heard of false advertising?