Anonymous User wrote:I have been an occasional poster here and appreciated the company of everyone in this thread over a brutal 3L year and start to bar study. Ok, 2L year and 2L summer were brutal for me too. I job hunted until spring break of 2L year and then drove a terrible commute to a sucky job where I had no chance of getting an offer all of 2L summer. Then I did a journal as a 3L to hopefully improve my chances of finding a job. That wasn't fun. My grades dropped 3L year from comfortably with honors to no honors, a mix of running out of motivation and stupidly taking hard classes in areas where I'm weak. Keep that in mind, rising 3Ls...
I have also gained a significant amount of weight and my attitude sucks. I went from being a personable go getter who was fit and trim (and was a good if not the best interviewer) to someone who doesn't make a great impression right now. And it's all about hustle now, but I don't have it, nor do I have the grades I used to (it was a small drop but still stings). I also find myself spending a a lot of time reading discussions on this forum about 2Ls going into OCI and just find myself burning with resentment. I feel jealous instead of relieved when people on this thread have gotten good news. I've also slacked way off of bar studying.
So I'm taking a hiatus from TLS and Above the Law. I'm checking Symplicity and a couple other job boards a couple times a week instead of trolling them constantly. I'll apply to jobs where I clearly fit the qualifications, but I'm not going to refresh Craigslist five times a day anymore or obsess about if I should be networking. I need to pass the bar and focus on that except for setting aside a couple hours every day to get myself in shape physically and mentally. Then after a badly needed (though probably financially unwise) bar trip in August I'll dig in, join every local bar association, and hustle my butt off with coffees and shit.
What sucks but is pathetically hopeful is that despite everything I think I would still like to be an attorney. I hated being in law school but I like doing legal work and working with clients. I have a lot of debt but because of family situation will be able to service it on a small salary. My partner and I don't want to own a big house or have kids, so even on a small law or state government salary I should be able to eat good food and take some cool trips, which is all I really need to be happy. So if I get over the ego and resentment the last few years have built up, and actually FIND that godd*** small firm or state government job, I think I could be pretty happy. But it feels so far away right now. I'm also looking at not making much more money than I did before going to law school, which adds to the sting. I'm going to do some damage control on my mind and body, pass the bar, and then maybe I'll be back here. But for now a source of commiseration has turned into a source of obsession and other bad feelings, so I'm stepping away for now. Best of luck to you all.
This speaks to me. I haven't gained weight, but my attitude sucks too. I've been gunning for jobs so much these past three years that I don't have much left in me to apply for anything anymore. I'd probably be fine if I stayed in the area where I attended law school, but instead I moved to California to be with my S/O, who's driving me crazy now. Cutting yourself off from these forums, ATL, etc. sure made me a happy person during 3L year (or willfully ignorant), but it also lead me to miss a ton of deadlines for jobs b/c I refused to think about the state of this profession.
Now, instead of listening to another bar lecture, I feel like I should keep applying for something, but that requires significant time, effort, and motivation, which I'm largely lacking. I keep failing my bar prep essays, and now I'm wondering, why am I sitting for the hardest bar exam in the country if I can't even find a job here?