Anonymous User wrote:Class of 2017 here. Still in the Vale. I'm living with my parents, and while I know I'm incredibly lucky to have their support, after almost a year I'm also feeling overwhelmingly spoiled, useless, and shitty about still being unemployed and watching them using their retirement on my monthly student loan payments. I'm sorry about the long post and just the general childish tone of it, I just feel stuck and I'm hoping for some opinions on this whole situation.
My parents have (understandably) been increasingly frustrated by my lack of progress, and it's leading to a series of very long, damaging fights between us. Long story short, they think that something must be wrong with me, and I am not doing enough to fix this. I am (I won't get into details here because I'm tired of having to defend myself to my parents on the exact same topic every other day, just please assume that I am). I asked them what would make them feel better, and they said if they saw me socializing/spending time outside rather than sitting locked up in my room. They suggested getting a part time job while I'm searching for legal work (which I would leave off my resume).
So, question: did/do any of you work a part time non-legal job while job hunting? What recommendations do you have? This is complicated by the fact that my parents don't want me to be seen if I did have such a job. They don't want me to be seen by their friends and have the friends make snide remarks about me to them. But this would end up eliminating a lot of potential options, like major fast food or retail. Night shift work is mostly overnight restocking, which I wouldn't mind in theory, but I don't think I can carry over 40 pounds, and I don't think anyone looking at me would believe I could, either.
If I'm considering part time non-legal jobs, should I just try to do legal jobs I haven't wanted to apply to? I'm talking about personal injury/insurance defense/civil litigation, which there seem to be a lot of openings for, but I haven't applied to because 1) I want to do corporate work and I'm not sure how much having a bunch of litigation on my resume would help and 2) this seems silly when I don't even have a job, but I'm worried about exit options - I interned briefly at a personal injury firm while in law school and while it was a very positive experience and I learned a lot, interviewers when I was looking for a position next actually laughed at me when I talked about it.
Alternatively, do you have any recommendations for volunteering I could do? Ideally I'd do pro bono lawyer work, but I'm kind of afraid to do that because I'm really at a rock bottom in terms of self confidence right now. I'm feeling very insecure about my personality in light of the job situation, which makes me feel a lot of pressure to fit in and be professional, especially around other lawyers, which usually translates into me being awkward and robotic. I don't know how bad it really is, but the thought of other lawyers in a small legal community remembering me as that weird unpleasant person stresses me out to no end. I know I am a bit socially awkward, but I feel like at least I used to be funny and enjoy being around other people. It's just really demoralizing to act and be perceived in a way that I'm not. I was hoping that if I were in an environment where I don't have to talk to people if I don't want to, it would take the pressure off and I could learn to be myself again. I was looking for something like tree-planting, but with a schedule to it, like once a week.
Or, should I just suck it up like a full grown adult and leave? I'm obviously doing something wrong. My parents have said that I am too comfortable with this situation and I wonder if they're right, and this needs to be a sink or swim scenario. I don't have anywhere to go or much money, but I have enough to keep paying the lease payments on my car for a little while, and I could probably find somewhere legal to park it overnight. A full time minimum wage job wouldn't be enough to make my monthly student loan payments, but I think there's an income variable option.
Any thoughts would be appreciated, even flames. At this point I think there's nothing you can say about me that I haven't thought myself, and I'd like to be proven wrong.
Why not work for a legal temp agency like Robert Half? It would at least get you out and around legal folks, and opportunities open up as you get to know people and they see your proficiencies. Linkedin is probably an easy way to find a recruiter in your area. After that, just call them up. These people have am incentive to place you into legal work. You can take a break when needed due to the temp status of many of their positions. If one of the employers likes your work, maybe it becomes permanent... which is not all that uncommon.
I think that getting out and around people, building back your confidence, and remembering the value you have as a smarty pants go-getter is important for you at this point (remember, you're a law grad... you are a smart type A who's in a rough patch that you aren't used too).
Do: see if you can get on IBR. It will limit, or eliminate, your payments based on what you are making. It will also relieve some of the tension between you and your parents, I'm guessing.
Don't: run off and live in your car. You need all the help you can get, at least until you get back on your feet. You might have to suck it up for a bit, it might be a bit humiliating, but you'll get there.
Do: get in touch with your friends, law school friends, and network through the local bar association. You'd be surprised by how many people want your success, and what these connections can do for you. I had major problems with this for a while because I didn't want anyone to know I was on hard times. But people are so much more underatanding and helpful than you think.
Full disclosure: I went through something similar. Mine started in law school, with the end of my marriage. It continued after law school, and wrecked my ability to take the bar and secure the position that I wanted. Stepped away from it all for a bit, and when I came back I found that legal didn't want me anymore, and neither did anything else because I didn't have experience. Did exactly what I'm telling you with Robert Half, was placed into many non-attorney positions. But eventually one of those partner assistant roles required me to edit the crap arguments he would write, which surprised him because I hadn't let on to my legal experience. This turned into writing full on arguments, and then getting hired. And this was a springboard into the firm I'm working for now, because my confidence was back, and I built a resume that was at least keeping me tangentially in the legal arena, and had interesting interview points about climbing back and being acknowledged for my legal skillset along the way--to where I was hired as an associate.
Give it a shot. Much better than minimum wage, and will at least get you back into the legal-professional setting.
