bk1 wrote:I think we can all agree on one thing: no matter who you marry, odds are your marriage will probably either fail or be miserable.
But you'll live longer...so maybe it's worth it.
bk1 wrote:I think we can all agree on one thing: no matter who you marry, odds are your marriage will probably either fail or be miserable.
bk1 wrote:I think we can all agree on one thing: no matter who you marry, odds are your marriage will probably either fail or be miserable.
Anonymous User wrote:Julio_El_Chavo wrote:Perseus_I wrote:....and resenting the fact that you're not there to help her take care of the kids. Trust me, I come from a long line of those types of families. Women with real careers are more interesting to talk to anyway. Overall, for both financial and personal reasons, I am in favor of professionals marrying each other. I am sure it can work the other way, but the chances of it not working out are quite high.
Wow, way to generalize. You obviously have a very specific set of attributes you look for in friends. Otherwise, you might have taken the effort to get to know the millions of women your age who actually want to be homemakers and enjoy it. Personally, I find professional women to be dull. They spend their entire lives trying to fit into a male-dominated profession and coarsen themselves in order to fit in to the point that they become more like men than real women. If I wanted to hang out with professional women, I might as well hang out with professional guys because they have the exact same personalities, goals, etc. It's refreshing to have a woman who is nurturing, caring, happy, etc. who can tell you stories about all the hilarious shit your kid did while you're at work. Financially, it's been proven in numerous studies that stay-at-home moms save an enormous amount of money for families given the services they provide. Also, I don't believe any of the people in this thread claiming that professional couples are less likely to divorce than professionals married to non-professionals. Even if that's the case, it's probably more correlated to socio-economic status in general than being a professional. People who struggle financially are probably more likely to fail at marriage, but this category of people probably doesn't include single-provider couples where the working partner is in biglaw.
My goodness, I sure hope you don't talk like this in real life, or that you are never in charge of hiring or promotions anywhere; you're an equal opportunity lawsuit waiting to happen, unless you are a woman. Then I apologize.
Accidently anon. This is Persues_I.
Julio_El_Chavo wrote:Anonymous User wrote:Julio_El_Chavo wrote:Perseus_I wrote:....and resenting the fact that you're not there to help her take care of the kids. Trust me, I come from a long line of those types of families. Women with real careers are more interesting to talk to anyway. Overall, for both financial and personal reasons, I am in favor of professionals marrying each other. I am sure it can work the other way, but the chances of it not working out are quite high.
Wow, way to generalize. You obviously have a very specific set of attributes you look for in friends. Otherwise, you might have taken the effort to get to know the millions of women your age who actually want to be homemakers and enjoy it. Personally, I find professional women to be dull. They spend their entire lives trying to fit into a male-dominated profession and coarsen themselves in order to fit in to the point that they become more like men than real women. If I wanted to hang out with professional women, I might as well hang out with professional guys because they have the exact same personalities, goals, etc. It's refreshing to have a woman who is nurturing, caring, happy, etc. who can tell you stories about all the hilarious shit your kid did while you're at work. Financially, it's been proven in numerous studies that stay-at-home moms save an enormous amount of money for families given the services they provide. Also, I don't believe any of the people in this thread claiming that professional couples are less likely to divorce than professionals married to non-professionals. Even if that's the case, it's probably more correlated to socio-economic status in general than being a professional. People who struggle financially are probably more likely to fail at marriage, but this category of people probably doesn't include single-provider couples where the working partner is in biglaw.
My goodness, I sure hope you don't talk like this in real life, or that you are never in charge of hiring or promotions anywhere; you're an equal opportunity lawsuit waiting to happen, unless you are a woman. Then I apologize.
Accidently anon. This is Persues_I.
If I'm ever lucky enough to be in a position to hire people, I obviously won't base my hiring decisions using the exact same standard that I use for assessing people as potential spouses. I know plenty of successful female attorneys and I would definitely hire them, promote them, etc. I just wouldn't find them as attractive as other women, which actually insulates me from potential problems rather than exposing me to them.
Perseus_I wrote:Hopefully, you will be able to hide the fact that you are sexist when you are at work and that it won't inadvertently slip through that you think your professional women colleagues are "not real women but actually more like men." I can just think of how some I know would react to this.
nouseforaname123 wrote:Perseus_I wrote:Overall, for both financial and personal reasons, I am in favor of professionals marrying each other. I am sure it can work the other way, but the chances of it not working out are quite high.
I don't have an opinion either way, but lots of assertions in this thread with little support.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/ ... vorce.htmlWomen working full-time are 29 per cent more likely to get divorced than those who stay at home and raise children.
Julio_El_Chavo wrote: Financially, it's been proven in numerous studies that stay-at-home moms save an enormous amount of money for families given the services they provide.
quakeroats wrote:Julio_El_Chavo wrote: Financially, it's been proven in numerous studies that stay-at-home moms save an enormous amount of money for families given the services they provide.
This usually comes with a lot of stipulations, and doesn't consider the longer term (even if you'd save some money while your kids are young, the long-term damage to your career prospects from5 or 10 years out of the workforce makes you difficult to employ later and more likely to take a job that isn't interesting and doesn't pay well). Here, we're talking about professional employment, and I suspect an income of over $100k brings in more than staying at home saves.
Julio_El_Chavo wrote:quakeroats wrote:Julio_El_Chavo wrote: Financially, it's been proven in numerous studies that stay-at-home moms save an enormous amount of money for families given the services they provide.
This usually comes with a lot of stipulations, and doesn't consider the longer term (even if you'd save some money while your kids are young, the long-term damage to your career prospects from5 or 10 years out of the workforce makes you difficult to employ later and more likely to take a job that isn't interesting and doesn't pay well). Here, we're talking about professional employment, and I suspect an income of over $100k brings in more than staying at home saves.
After a family makes over something like 85k per year, there is no marginal increase in happiness due to change in financial circumstances. I'll find the link that supports this. It was stated by a guy that gave a TED Talk a while ago.
Therefore, if one spouse is making 160k, there is no benefit to the other spouse making any income at all. Assuming there is at least some benefit to taking care of your own kids rather than letting someone else watching them all the time, being a stay-at-home mom is a net plus, assuming the wage-earning spouse makes enough money.
Anonymous User wrote:Julio_El_Chavo wrote: They spend their entire lives trying to fit into a male-dominated profession and coarsen themselves in order to fit in to the point that they become more like men than real women. If I wanted to hang out with professional women, I might as well hang out with professional guys because they have the exact same personalities, goals, etc. It's refreshing to have a woman who is nurturing, caring, happy, etc. who can tell you stories about all the hilarious shit your kid did while you're at work.
My goodness, I sure hope you don't talk like this in real life, or that you are never in charge of hiring or promotions anywhere; you're an equal opportunity lawsuit waiting to happen, unless you are a woman. Then I apologize.
Accidently anon. This is Persues_I.
IAFG wrote:It's a huuuuge facepalm-y, are-you-fucking-kidding-me leap to say that because you don't need more money, a woman's happiness will not be increased by working. And in fact, the opposite is true. SAHMs are more likely to be depressed.
Danteshek wrote:Hooey. Single people will find it a lot harder to keep it together. Who is going to cook for you and do your laundry? Who is going to listen to you bitch and moan about how hard work is? Being married to the right person will make you MUCH more successful no matter what you do.
keg411 wrote:IAFG wrote:It's a huuuuge facepalm-y, are-you-fucking-kidding-me leap to say that because you don't need more money, a woman's happiness will not be increased by working. And in fact, the opposite is true. SAHMs are more likely to be depressed.
I just mostly wonder why guys who advocate this type of arrangement don't volunteer to be SAHD's.
AreJay711 wrote:Danteshek wrote:Hooey. Single people will find it a lot harder to keep it together. Who is going to cook for you and do your laundry? Who is going to listen to you bitch and moan about how hard work is? Being married to the right person will make you MUCH more successful no matter what you do.
Also, best post in this thread
IAFG wrote:AreJay711 wrote:Danteshek wrote:Hooey. Single people will find it a lot harder to keep it together. Who is going to cook for you and do your laundry? Who is going to listen to you bitch and moan about how hard work is? Being married to the right person will make you MUCH more successful no matter what you do.
Also, best post in this thread
It's not, because like a lot of other posts in this thread, it only considers the lawyer's happiness in the marriage. So you'll be thrilled until she files.
Julio_El_Chavo wrote:
After a family makes over something like 85k per year, there is no marginal increase in happiness due to change in financial circumstances. I'll find the link that supports this. It was stated by a guy that gave a TED Talk a while ago.
AreJay711 wrote:keg411 wrote:IAFG wrote:It's a huuuuge facepalm-y, are-you-fucking-kidding-me leap to say that because you don't need more money, a woman's happiness will not be increased by working. And in fact, the opposite is true. SAHMs are more likely to be depressed.
I just mostly wonder why guys who advocate this type of arrangement don't volunteer to be SAHD's.
There is strong social pressure NOT to be stay at home dads.
IAFG wrote:Lawyer-lawyer couples have a fairly low divorce rate.
It's not marriage that's disconcerting, it's kids.
Julio_El_Chavo wrote:Perseus_I wrote:Hopefully, you will be able to hide the fact that you are sexist when you are at work and that it won't inadvertently slip through that you think your professional women colleagues are "not real women but actually more like men." I can just think of how some I know would react to this.
Hopefully you'll learn not to throw around baseless insults before you become an adult and actually have to work in the real world. I'm not a sexist. I think women should be able to do whatever they want with their lives and I've encouraged my own wife to do the same. You are taking that statement totally out of context. I was talking about attributes I looked for in a potential spouse. Also, isn't it the opposite of being a sexist to treat women like you treat men?
IAFG wrote:Julio_El_Chavo wrote:quakeroats wrote:Julio_El_Chavo wrote: Financially, it's been proven in numerous studies that stay-at-home moms save an enormous amount of money for families given the services they provide.
This usually comes with a lot of stipulations, and doesn't consider the longer term (even if you'd save some money while your kids are young, the long-term damage to your career prospects from5 or 10 years out of the workforce makes you difficult to employ later and more likely to take a job that isn't interesting and doesn't pay well). Here, we're talking about professional employment, and I suspect an income of over $100k brings in more than staying at home saves.
After a family makes over something like 85k per year, there is no marginal increase in happiness due to change in financial circumstances. I'll find the link that supports this. It was stated by a guy that gave a TED Talk a while ago.
Therefore, if one spouse is making 160k, there is no benefit to the other spouse making any income at all. Assuming there is at least some benefit to taking care of your own kids rather than letting someone else watching them all the time, being a stay-at-home mom is a net plus, assuming the wage-earning spouse makes enough money.
It's a huuuuge facepalm-y, are-you-fucking-kidding-me leap to say that because you don't need more money, a woman's happiness will not be increased by working. And in fact, the opposite is true. SAHMs are more likely to be depressed.
quakeroats wrote:I should note, however, that there is one exception. The United States has gotten wealthier over the last 40 years and we haven't gotten any happier on average.
IAFG wrote:AreJay711 wrote:Danteshek wrote:Hooey. Single people will find it a lot harder to keep it together. Who is going to cook for you and do your laundry? Who is going to listen to you bitch and moan about how hard work is? Being married to the right person will make you MUCH more successful no matter what you do.
Also, best post in this thread
It's not, because like a lot of other posts in this thread, it only considers the lawyer's happiness in the marriage. So you'll be thrilled until she files.
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