"if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married." Forum

[Anonymous User]

I am a woman. I was meeting him about a possible internship.
This is a small corp law firm in NYC.

[Bildungsroman]

k

[09042014]

Either that or accept your husband will cheat on you.

[Aberzombie1892]

CSB?

But seriously, that's sort of obvious for both men and women. Being a lawyer doesn't mesh well with family/committed relationship life. However, it does mesh well with single life.

[Danteshek]

Hooey. Single people will find it a lot harder to keep it together. Who is going to cook for you and do your laundry? Who is going to listen to you bitch and moan about how hard work is? Being married to the right person will make you MUCH more successful no matter what you do.

[fatduck]

Hooey. Single people will find it a lot harder to keep it together. Who is going to cook for you and do your laundry? Who is going to listen to you bitch and moan about how hard work is? Being married to the right person will make you MUCH more successful no matter what you do.

that's what the money is for!

[IAFG]

Lawyer-lawyer couples have a fairly low divorce rate.

It's not marriage that's disconcerting, it's kids.

[Anonymous User]

But seriously, that's sort of obvious for both men and women. Being a lawyer doesn't mesh well with family/committed relationship life. However, it does mesh well with single life.[/quote][quote="Aberzombie1892"]CSB?

How well do single, male biglawyers at top fratty firms (Skadden, Weil, Kirkland) do in NYC?

This advice is disconcerting though for people who want marriage. Like everything, I'm sure a lot of it comes down to priorities though.

[Anonymous User]

Just marry another working professional

[rayiner]

So statistically: If you're a woman and you want to be a successful lawyer, don't marry someone who makes a lot more money than you. When push comes to shove and compromises have to be made, you will be the one that ends up downshifting. Ideally don't get married at all, because if you decide to have kids you will be the one that ends up downshifting. If you're a man and you want to be a successful lawyer, don't marry someone who works a lot less than you. People marry for companionship, and when you're working 60 hours a week and she's working 40, she'll resent you for not being there the other 20. Do, however, get married to someone. Married men make more money, are seen as more stable and responsible, and live longer.

Professional couples tend to have low divorce rates. They don't have the time to sleep with their spouse much less with additional people on the side.

[Anonymous User]

Just curious. How many early 40s, in shape bachelor partners are there out there at the big firms. I'm guessing this is pretty rare even at the fratty firms. Though 600k-2M and single in NYC would be tempting for a lot of guys, I bet.

[JamMasterJ]

This is why my fiancee and I will try to wait to have kid(s) until after I (presumably) get out of biglaw

[rad lulz]

Can women also enjoy MOTTLES N BAUBLES?

[IAFG]

Can women also enjoy MOTTLES N BAUBLES?

You better believe I spend dat summer money on baubles.

But, also spend a lot on my deadbeat husband. Maybe the guy advising OP is right.

[JamMasterJ]

Can women also enjoy MOTTLES N BAUBLES?

You better believe I spend dat summer money on baubles.

But, also spend a lot on my deadbeat husband. Maybe the guy advising OP is right.

didn't you get married like last month? Seems like you recognizing him as a deadbeat this early is a bad sign

[Haymarket]

Can women also enjoy MOTTLES N BAUBLES?

You better believe I spend dat summer money on baubles.

But, also spend a lot on my deadbeat husband. Maybe the guy advising OP is right.

didn't you get married like last month? Seems like you recognizing him as a deadbeat this early is a bad sign

God damn 0Ls in the law student forums....

[keg411]

It seems like the vast majority of people at my SA firm are married. Especially at the midlevel/partner level. The single people are definitely in the minority (both men and women). There are a bunch of lawyer-lawyer couples and there are some super-religious people as well.

[JamMasterJ]

Can women also enjoy MOTTLES N BAUBLES?

You better believe I spend dat summer money on baubles.

But, also spend a lot on my deadbeat husband. Maybe the guy advising OP is right.

didn't you get married like last month? Seems like you recognizing him as a deadbeat this early is a bad sign

God damn 0Ls in the law student forums....

[quakeroats]

Just marry another working professional

This. Find someone with the same interests and goals in life. You won't have as much free time at a large law firm or another demanding job as elsewhere. If you both have to make this work, it'll be a point of understanding for you to commiserate on or enjoy as the case may be. If you both like the same things, it makes everything easier. Differences make life interesting, but it's a lot more exciting when you take different approaches to the same interests. If your significant other is a gardening-loving elementary school teacher, and you're a Proust-reading finance associate, your interests and your jobs will keep you on different schedules with different friends and expectations. Depending on everything else, you may grow to appreciate the differences, but it's a lot harder than it could be. Contrast that with two big law associates who both like spirits, art, and snow sports. Perhaps one likes brandy, pollock, and skiing, and the other prefers whisky, vermeer, and snowboarding. Their interests are different, but similar enough that they can do them together. They can appreciate the different approaches of the other because the have similar interests, and they're also working similar schedules with the same kinds of demands.

[Anonymous User]

I am a woman. I was meeting him about a possible internship.
This is a small corp law firm in NYC.

If you want to be a successful lawyer, only marry another lawyer or someone who lives a similar lifestyle -- like ibankers. Relating to non-lawyers is getting irritating and difficult after just one year of law school. I could not imagine years of marriage, given that Big Law is a lot more stressful and time-consuming than law school.

[IAFG]

Can women also enjoy MOTTLES N BAUBLES?

You better believe I spend dat summer money on baubles.

But, also spend a lot on my deadbeat husband. Maybe the guy advising OP is right.

didn't you get married like last month? Seems like you recognizing him as a deadbeat this early is a bad sign

I'm just kidding. He's studying for the bar.

[Julio_El_Chavo]

Lawyer-lawyer couples have a fairly low divorce rate.

O RLY?

[Julio_El_Chavo]

I think it's dangerous to make blanket statements about what kind of relationship is right for everyone. Saying that you will only be happy married to another professional who works all the time is 100% false when applied to me. I think I would kill myself if I could never get away from the stress of being surrounded by people who work 24/7. It's nice being married to a non-lawyer government worker because she chills me out and does shit for me while I'm working 24/7. Fuck paying other people to do shit for you because 1) it's waaaaaaaaaaay more expensive and 2) they never do things how you want them to be done anyway.

[homestyle28]

I am a woman. I was meeting him about a possible internship.
This is a small corp law firm in NYC.

If you want to be a successful lawyer, only marry another lawyer or someone who lives a similar lifestyle -- like ibankers. Relating to non-lawyers is getting irritating and difficult after just one year of law school. I could not imagine years of marriage, given that Big Law is a lot more stressful and time-consuming than law school.

You sound unpleasant.

[Anonymous User]

I am a woman. I was meeting him about a possible internship.
This is a small corp law firm in NYC.

If you want to be a successful lawyer, only marry another lawyer or someone who lives a similar lifestyle -- like ibankers. Relating to non-lawyers is getting irritating and difficult after just one year of law school. I could not imagine years of marriage, given that Big Law is a lot more stressful and time-consuming than law school.

You sound unpleasant.

Or hard-wired for Big Law.

It does get irritating having to explain what Law Review is, and it would be equally irritating to have to explain why I couldn't pick the kids up at 5, or why I "missed dinner yet again." I'd say marry another lawyer, or don't get married. I am a guy, by the way. But the same is probably even more true for women.