"if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

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Anonymous User
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"if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby Anonymous User » Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:05 pm

I am a woman. I was meeting him about a possible internship.
This is a small corp law firm in NYC.

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Bildungsroman
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby Bildungsroman » Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:05 pm

k

09042014
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby 09042014 » Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:11 pm

Either that or accept your husband will cheat on you.

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Aberzombie1892
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby Aberzombie1892 » Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:12 pm

CSB?

But seriously, that's sort of obvious for both men and women. Being a lawyer doesn't mesh well with family/committed relationship life. However, it does mesh well with single life.

Danteshek
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby Danteshek » Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:16 pm

Hooey. Single people will find it a lot harder to keep it together. Who is going to cook for you and do your laundry? Who is going to listen to you bitch and moan about how hard work is? Being married to the right person will make you MUCH more successful no matter what you do.

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fatduck
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby fatduck » Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:18 pm

Danteshek wrote:Hooey. Single people will find it a lot harder to keep it together. Who is going to cook for you and do your laundry? Who is going to listen to you bitch and moan about how hard work is? Being married to the right person will make you MUCH more successful no matter what you do.

that's what the money is for!

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IAFG
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby IAFG » Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:22 pm

Lawyer-lawyer couples have a fairly low divorce rate.

It's not marriage that's disconcerting, it's kids.

Anonymous User
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby Anonymous User » Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:27 pm

But seriously, that's sort of obvious for both men and women. Being a lawyer doesn't mesh well with family/committed relationship life. However, it does mesh well with single life.[/quote][quote="Aberzombie1892"]CSB?

How well do single, male biglawyers at top fratty firms (Skadden, Weil, Kirkland) do in NYC?

This advice is disconcerting though for people who want marriage. Like everything, I'm sure a lot of it comes down to priorities though.

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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby Anonymous User » Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:31 pm

Just marry another working professional

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rayiner
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby rayiner » Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:57 pm

So statistically: If you're a woman and you want to be a successful lawyer, don't marry someone who makes a lot more money than you. When push comes to shove and compromises have to be made, you will be the one that ends up downshifting. Ideally don't get married at all, because if you decide to have kids you will be the one that ends up downshifting. If you're a man and you want to be a successful lawyer, don't marry someone who works a lot less than you. People marry for companionship, and when you're working 60 hours a week and she's working 40, she'll resent you for not being there the other 20. Do, however, get married to someone. Married men make more money, are seen as more stable and responsible, and live longer.

Professional couples tend to have low divorce rates. They don't have the time to sleep with their spouse much less with additional people on the side.

Anonymous User
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby Anonymous User » Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:05 pm

Just curious. How many early 40s, in shape bachelor partners are there out there at the big firms. I'm guessing this is pretty rare even at the fratty firms. Though 600k-2M and single in NYC would be tempting for a lot of guys, I bet.

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JamMasterJ
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby JamMasterJ » Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:14 pm

This is why my fiancee and I will try to wait to have kid(s) until after I (presumably) get out of biglaw

rad lulz
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby rad lulz » Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:16 pm

Can women also enjoy MOTTLES N BAUBLES?

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IAFG
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby IAFG » Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:19 pm

rad lulz wrote:Can women also enjoy MOTTLES N BAUBLES?

You better believe I spend dat summer money on baubles.

But, also spend a lot on my deadbeat husband. Maybe the guy advising OP is right.

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JamMasterJ
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby JamMasterJ » Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:23 pm

IAFG wrote:
rad lulz wrote:Can women also enjoy MOTTLES N BAUBLES?

You better believe I spend dat summer money on baubles.

But, also spend a lot on my deadbeat husband. Maybe the guy advising OP is right.

didn't you get married like last month? Seems like you recognizing him as a deadbeat this early is a bad sign :lol:

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Haymarket
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby Haymarket » Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:26 pm

JamMasterJ wrote:
IAFG wrote:
rad lulz wrote:Can women also enjoy MOTTLES N BAUBLES?

You better believe I spend dat summer money on baubles.

But, also spend a lot on my deadbeat husband. Maybe the guy advising OP is right.

didn't you get married like last month? Seems like you recognizing him as a deadbeat this early is a bad sign :lol:

God damn 0Ls in the law student forums....

keg411
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby keg411 » Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:27 pm

It seems like the vast majority of people at my SA firm are married. Especially at the midlevel/partner level. The single people are definitely in the minority (both men and women). There are a bunch of lawyer-lawyer couples and there are some super-religious people as well.

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JamMasterJ
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby JamMasterJ » Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:29 pm

Haymarket wrote:
JamMasterJ wrote:
IAFG wrote:
rad lulz wrote:Can women also enjoy MOTTLES N BAUBLES?

You better believe I spend dat summer money on baubles.

But, also spend a lot on my deadbeat husband. Maybe the guy advising OP is right.

didn't you get married like last month? Seems like you recognizing him as a deadbeat this early is a bad sign :lol:

God damn 0Ls in the law student forums....

:oops:

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quakeroats
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby quakeroats » Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:50 pm

Anonymous User wrote:Just marry another working professional


This. Find someone with the same interests and goals in life. You won't have as much free time at a large law firm or another demanding job as elsewhere. If you both have to make this work, it'll be a point of understanding for you to commiserate on or enjoy as the case may be. If you both like the same things, it makes everything easier. Differences make life interesting, but it's a lot more exciting when you take different approaches to the same interests. If your significant other is a gardening-loving elementary school teacher, and you're a Proust-reading finance associate, your interests and your jobs will keep you on different schedules with different friends and expectations. Depending on everything else, you may grow to appreciate the differences, but it's a lot harder than it could be. Contrast that with two big law associates who both like spirits, art, and snow sports. Perhaps one likes brandy, pollock, and skiing, and the other prefers whisky, vermeer, and snowboarding. Their interests are different, but similar enough that they can do them together. They can appreciate the different approaches of the other because the have similar interests, and they're also working similar schedules with the same kinds of demands.

Anonymous User
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby Anonymous User » Sun Jul 15, 2012 3:13 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I am a woman. I was meeting him about a possible internship.
This is a small corp law firm in NYC.


If you want to be a successful lawyer, only marry another lawyer or someone who lives a similar lifestyle -- like ibankers. Relating to non-lawyers is getting irritating and difficult after just one year of law school. I could not imagine years of marriage, given that Big Law is a lot more stressful and time-consuming than law school.
Last edited by Anonymous User on Sun Jul 15, 2012 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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IAFG
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby IAFG » Sun Jul 15, 2012 3:14 pm

JamMasterJ wrote:
IAFG wrote:
rad lulz wrote:Can women also enjoy MOTTLES N BAUBLES?

You better believe I spend dat summer money on baubles.

But, also spend a lot on my deadbeat husband. Maybe the guy advising OP is right.

didn't you get married like last month? Seems like you recognizing him as a deadbeat this early is a bad sign :lol:

I'm just kidding. He's studying for the bar.

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Julio_El_Chavo
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby Julio_El_Chavo » Sun Jul 15, 2012 3:31 pm

IAFG wrote:Lawyer-lawyer couples have a fairly low divorce rate.


O RLY?

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Julio_El_Chavo
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby Julio_El_Chavo » Sun Jul 15, 2012 3:46 pm

I think it's dangerous to make blanket statements about what kind of relationship is right for everyone. Saying that you will only be happy married to another professional who works all the time is 100% false when applied to me. I think I would kill myself if I could never get away from the stress of being surrounded by people who work 24/7. It's nice being married to a non-lawyer government worker because she chills me out and does shit for me while I'm working 24/7. Fuck paying other people to do shit for you because 1) it's waaaaaaaaaaay more expensive and 2) they never do things how you want them to be done anyway.

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homestyle28
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby homestyle28 » Sun Jul 15, 2012 3:48 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:I am a woman. I was meeting him about a possible internship.
This is a small corp law firm in NYC.


If you want to be a successful lawyer, only marry another lawyer or someone who lives a similar lifestyle -- like ibankers. Relating to non-lawyers is getting irritating and difficult after just one year of law school. I could not imagine years of marriage, given that Big Law is a lot more stressful and time-consuming than law school.


You sound unpleasant.

Anonymous User
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Re: "if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married."

Postby Anonymous User » Sun Jul 15, 2012 3:52 pm

homestyle28 wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:I am a woman. I was meeting him about a possible internship.
This is a small corp law firm in NYC.


If you want to be a successful lawyer, only marry another lawyer or someone who lives a similar lifestyle -- like ibankers. Relating to non-lawyers is getting irritating and difficult after just one year of law school. I could not imagine years of marriage, given that Big Law is a lot more stressful and time-consuming than law school.


You sound unpleasant.


Or hard-wired for Big Law.

It does get irritating having to explain what Law Review is, and it would be equally irritating to have to explain why I couldn't pick the kids up at 5, or why I "missed dinner yet again." I'd say marry another lawyer, or don't get married. I am a guy, by the way. But the same is probably even more true for women.




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