Help - The Partner's Son and I Have a Past

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What should I do?

Avoid the partner forever.
4
8%
Don't avoid him but try to not mention where you are from or where you went to high school.
25
50%
Don't avoid him, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
16
32%
Tell the partner about your history with his son.
5
10%
 
Total votes: 50

delusional
Posts: 1190
Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2010 7:57 pm

Re: Help - The Partner's Son and I Have a Past

Postby delusional » Mon Jun 04, 2012 8:51 pm

Well apparently no one in this thread is a parent. It doesn't matter if you and the guy both know that his son is a terrible human being. If he knows that you guys hate each other, he's not going to like you. That said, there's no reason he has to know anything. Mention that you knew his son, or even that you aren't buddies because you had a misunderstanding. That way, in the tiny, tiny chance that the details come up, it won't look like you covered it up.

Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Help - The Partner's Son and I Have a Past

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Jun 04, 2012 9:38 pm

delusional wrote:Well apparently no one in this thread is a parent. It doesn't matter if you and the guy both know that his son is a terrible human being. If he knows that you guys hate each other, he's not going to like you. That said, there's no reason he has to know anything. Mention that you knew his son, or even that you aren't buddies because you had a misunderstanding. That way, in the tiny, tiny chance that the details come up, it won't look like you covered it up.



Covered what up?? This isn't the C&F. You're allowed to not hang out with douchebags. Including douchebags that have Partner/lawyers for a parent.
Assuming you are a parent, are you telling us you hate every kid your kid hates? You know enough about all of your kid's friends to know who your kid hates? You're going to continue to hate all the kids your kid hates through high school, college, and grad school? And in the off-chance some kid your kid hated in high school works for you one day you're going to have an attitude with that kid because your kids didn't get along with him? Is that what you're really saying?

delusional
Posts: 1190
Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2010 7:57 pm

Re: Help - The Partner's Son and I Have a Past

Postby delusional » Mon Jun 04, 2012 9:41 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
delusional wrote:Well apparently no one in this thread is a parent. It doesn't matter if you and the guy both know that his son is a terrible human being. If he knows that you guys hate each other, he's not going to like you. That said, there's no reason he has to know anything. Mention that you knew his son, or even that you aren't buddies because you had a misunderstanding. That way, in the tiny, tiny chance that the details come up, it won't look like you covered it up.



Covered what up?? This isn't the C&F. You're allowed to not hang out with douchebags. Including douchebags that have Partner/lawyers for a parent.
Assuming you are a parent, are you telling us you hate every kid your kid hates? You know enough about all of your kid's friends to know who your kid hates? You're going to continue to hate all the kids your kid hates through high school, college, and grad school? And in the off-chance some kid your kid hated in high school works for you one day you're going to have an attitude with that kid because your kids didn't get along with him? Is that what you're really saying?
It's not that covering up is a big deal. It's just that to the extent that getting off on the right foot is important, it's better to handle the situation sensitively than not at all.
And yes, I'm saying that as a parent, my default emotion toward someone who has a negative history with my kid is negative. That doesn't mean it's a big deal. It just means be careful, cover your bases, and everything will be fine.

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dresden doll
Posts: 6802
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:11 am

Re: Help - The Partner's Son and I Have a Past

Postby dresden doll » Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:25 pm

delusional wrote:Well apparently no one in this thread is a parent.


I'm a parent, and I wouldn't automatically dislike or be wary of an SA who had a bad past with my in-and-out-of-rehab kid. Chances are great that plenty of people out there have shit history with this guy's son and that the partner has by now come across some of those people.

The few times my parents knew about whatever beef I happened to have with someone, they'd say, before saying anything else: 'and what did YOU do to contribute to that situation?' You might be automatically biased in this partner's position, but there are at least some parents who wouldn't be, particularly if they were well aware that their kid was a screw up.

Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Help - The Partner's Son and I Have a Past

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:45 pm

You can skate by through the summer, get an offer, and worry about it then. DO THAT.

delusional
Posts: 1190
Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2010 7:57 pm

Re: Help - The Partner's Son and I Have a Past

Postby delusional » Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:08 pm

dresden doll wrote:
delusional wrote:Well apparently no one in this thread is a parent.


I'm a parent, and I wouldn't automatically dislike or be wary of an SA who had a bad past with my in-and-out-of-rehab kid. Chances are great that plenty of people out there have shit history with this guy's son and that the partner has by now come across some of those people.

The few times my parents knew about whatever beef I happened to have with someone, they'd say, before saying anything else: 'and what did YOU do to contribute to that situation?' You might be automatically biased in this partner's position, but there are at least some parents who wouldn't be, particularly if they were well aware that their kid was a screw up.
Okay. I would differentiate between a run in with a known acquaintance and a blood feud with a stranger. And knowing my kid was a screw up would only make me more sensitive. Maybe my earlier post came on too strong, but at the very least, OP should take care in case the partner turns out to be my type of parent. :)

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bk1
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Re: Help - The Partner's Son and I Have a Past

Postby bk1 » Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:13 pm

Final Warning: If you're not posting revealing info then you shouldn't be posting anon.

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swc65
Posts: 1003
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2009 11:27 am

Re: Help - The Partner's Son and I Have a Past

Postby swc65 » Tue Jun 05, 2012 12:08 am

Omg this is insane. If it comes up, which it won't, just laugh about how childish you were "back then" because you got into it over a girl. Perfect chance for some self deprecating humor and to bond with the guy.


Also, you're over thinking it. Just chill

Miller32
Posts: 131
Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2011 1:51 pm

Re: Help - The Partner's Son and I Have a Past

Postby Miller32 » Tue Jun 05, 2012 1:58 pm

People in here advocating an awkward convo with the partner over this stupid bullshit is why no offers happen.

Just saying.




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