OP here. Thanks for the replies. I'm bottom third...yeah, not a good look. The worst part is there's no excuse, i.e. nobody died, I didn't have cancer. I worked my ass off in the fall and was heartbroken when I got around median. I worked hardest in Contracts and even got an old outline from a 2L who booked the class and felt hopeful. I got a B- in the class. Best part is that I shared the outline with a friend who hadn't made his own and he got an A-, and he thanked me sincerely afterwards and said that the outline saved his life. So I spent the spring alternating between feeling determined to do better and feeling really depressed, and by the time I got myself together enough to study hard, it was too late. Not sure how that'll fly in an interview when the inevitable grade question comes up.
And I know I'm not an idiot, or at least I used to not be an idiot, because I got a stellar UGPA at a highly ranked liberal arts college, so this has just destroyed my confidence.
The caddying thing doesn't sound bad. My 1L summer job is a legal services type thing, so I was thinking of getting a second job that would bring me in contact with the world of Biglaw partners. If I had a bartendering license and a bro attitude, I could've been a bartender at a private club. I'm thinking of getting a waiter job at a great restaurant, since I did that in high school and wouldn't fuck it up.
I used to be only a little shy, I'm usually more like a reserved introvert who gets drained in social situations than someone with acute social anxiety. But since 1L, my self-esteem has dropped so low that I think it would be pretty accurate to describe me as shy now. I'm hoping therapy/meds will fix this because I can't afford to let my lack of self-esteem show. Even if I can't fix the problem quickly enough, I want to be able to hide it for now.
Should I mass-mail? Should I explain my grades when I mass-mail, and if so, should I tell the truth or not? How should I spin it?
join the hot mess that is 1L ending with bad grades. I did the networking thing, I am an extrovert and felt had some good connections, but did not get a firm job. I'm at GW and seeing updates from classmates, I don't see anyone with a firm job and below median or even above median. we're just done, there is nothing changing that.
You're probably right, but 2L and OCI hasn't even started yet, so don't give up. (lol at me telling someone not to give up - this is a do as I say, not as I do situation right here).