Pregnant 2L Summer

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IAFG
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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby IAFG » Fri May 25, 2012 2:46 pm

Anonymous User wrote:not too hijack thread, but this topic is freaking me out in terms of age, career and kids. Is late twenties too late, should I start worrying about kids (am already in a relationship)? I'll be a 3L and this hasn't even crossed my mind, and reading the responses, I'm realizing a lot of people have kids/had kids around law school time. I thought - law school, work for a few years, then focus on kids, how can women possibly handle children and working as an attorney full time...

So you're going to quit work later and just focus on kids? How heartbroken will you be if you can't conceive later in life? How much money are you willing to throw at fertility treatments? Particularly if your budget realities change because you can't imagine being an attorney and a mom silmultaneously?

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby Anonymous User » Fri May 25, 2012 3:07 pm

IAFG wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:not too hijack thread, but this topic is freaking me out in terms of age, career and kids. Is late twenties too late, should I start worrying about kids (am already in a relationship)? I'll be a 3L and this hasn't even crossed my mind, and reading the responses, I'm realizing a lot of people have kids/had kids around law school time. I thought - law school, work for a few years, then focus on kids, how can women possibly handle children and working as an attorney full time...

So you're going to quit work later and just focus on kids? How heartbroken will you be if you can't conceive later in life? How much money are you willing to throw at fertility treatments? Particularly if your budget realities change because you can't imagine being an attorney and a mom silmultaneously?
[quote="IAFG"]

To answer your questions, I don't know...I was born and raised overseas and my mom did not work full time (rather part time) and she was always with my sibling and I, I just assumed that that is what I'd want to do, be a stay at home mom - family is the most important thing, even at the expense of work or taking bad positions. I grew up poor, am poor...and will probably be poor. Mostly, I was concerned of the age, maybe that wasn't as clear - I thought later generations had children later in mid 30s but when I saw the thread, it got me to think about how fast time goes, if I should consider this now.

Law will not be a career for me, I made a mistake, I know that. However, I have another job in mind, something I've done previously and absolutely loved, and I know I can do that while having kids. However, it will not be a "career." Short answer, no, I can't imagine being an attorney and a mom simultaneously - I am surprised others can do it, and I question if it can be done right (at least from my perspective).

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby Anonymous User » Fri May 25, 2012 3:20 pm

rayiner wrote:Kids get attached to their nannies, so what? I spent the first five years in a very traditional culture where kids are raised by family groups, and kids get very attached to aunts, etc. The American suburban fantasy of a stay at home wife raising kids with intensive involvement in isolation is an unusual one. What do you think people did when we were hunters and gatherers? Women left their children with a few caretakers while they went to gather!


To me, at least, there is a huge difference between handing over the majority of the responsibility of raising your children to a complete stranger that you employ and being raised in a family group by parents/aunts/grandparents etc.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby Anonymous User » Fri May 25, 2012 3:29 pm

Anon one post back: IAFG has some solid points in this thread. IVF successes are still relatively low (25 to 28% for women under 35) while continuing to be expensive (although some insurance now covers it fully or partially).

It was hard to find a reliable source about your most fertile years as a woman (so much more information on infertility), but this article had some interesting information: http://www.parenting.com/article/pregnancy-at-20-30-40

It's frightening to think that I am already at the end of my most fertile years. I wish I had more time to really prepare for a baby, but with my family/medical history, the longer I wait, the harder it will be for me. Still, I'm not in a situation that would be ideal for a baby, though it is on the horizon. I would advise you to get some tests done if you have concerns about your fertility and talk to your doctor about starting family planning.

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rayiner
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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby rayiner » Fri May 25, 2012 3:45 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
rayiner wrote:Kids get attached to their nannies, so what? I spent the first five years in a very traditional culture where kids are raised by family groups, and kids get very attached to aunts, etc. The American suburban fantasy of a stay at home wife raising kids with intensive involvement in isolation is an unusual one. What do you think people did when we were hunters and gatherers? Women left their children with a few caretakers while they went to gather!


To me, at least, there is a huge difference between handing over the majority of the responsibility of raising your children to a complete stranger that you employ and being raised in a family group by parents/aunts/grandparents etc.


Nannies who take care of your kids aren't complete strangers. They often become quite close to the family. Fundamentally, they're just people in your community sharing responsibility for raising the community's kids. It's how human society has worked for thousands of years. The intensive, isolated relationship between modern suburban stay-at-home moms and their children is something that's relatively unusual in the world.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby ruski » Fri May 25, 2012 4:11 pm

rayiner wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:
rayiner wrote:Kids get attached to their nannies, so what? I spent the first five years in a very traditional culture where kids are raised by family groups, and kids get very attached to aunts, etc. The American suburban fantasy of a stay at home wife raising kids with intensive involvement in isolation is an unusual one. What do you think people did when we were hunters and gatherers? Women left their children with a few caretakers while they went to gather!


To me, at least, there is a huge difference between handing over the majority of the responsibility of raising your children to a complete stranger that you employ and being raised in a family group by parents/aunts/grandparents etc.


Nannies who take care of your kids aren't complete strangers. They often become quite close to the family. Fundamentally, they're just people in your community sharing responsibility for raising the community's kids. It's how human society has worked for thousands of years. The intensive, isolated relationship between modern suburban stay-at-home moms and their children is something that's relatively unusual in the world.


at the end of the day though, a nanny is an employee. it is different from being raised by relatives. with relatives there is much more equality, you drop off your kids one day there, and next week they drop off their kids at your place. the nanny is certainly not dropping her kids off at her employers and switching off. she is an employee, and it's evident she is treated as one, no matter how close she is to the family. at the end of the day she is taking orders and there is zero reciprocity and no "sharing of responsibility" that you speak of. however, having more communal raising with relatives fosters cooperation and working together much more as it truly is a group effort. there is no group effort with a nanny, she's just a replacement for a mom. you can't compare communal raising of the olden days to having a nanny now

instead of having an "intensive, isolated relationship between modern day stay-at-home and their children" you have an intensive, isolated relationship between nanny and child. there is no group effort here. to me having a full-time nanny is an absurd modern idea.

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rayiner
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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby rayiner » Fri May 25, 2012 4:47 pm

ruski wrote:
rayiner wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:
rayiner wrote:Kids get attached to their nannies, so what? I spent the first five years in a very traditional culture where kids are raised by family groups, and kids get very attached to aunts, etc. The American suburban fantasy of a stay at home wife raising kids with intensive involvement in isolation is an unusual one. What do you think people did when we were hunters and gatherers? Women left their children with a few caretakers while they went to gather!


To me, at least, there is a huge difference between handing over the majority of the responsibility of raising your children to a complete stranger that you employ and being raised in a family group by parents/aunts/grandparents etc.


Nannies who take care of your kids aren't complete strangers. They often become quite close to the family. Fundamentally, they're just people in your community sharing responsibility for raising the community's kids. It's how human society has worked for thousands of years. The intensive, isolated relationship between modern suburban stay-at-home moms and their children is something that's relatively unusual in the world.


at the end of the day though, a nanny is an employee. it is different from being raised by relatives. with relatives there is much more equality, you drop off your kids one day there, and next week they drop off their kids at your place. the nanny is certainly not dropping her kids off at her employers and switching off. she is an employee, and it's evident she is treated as one, no matter how close she is to the family. at the end of the day she is taking orders and there is zero reciprocity and no "sharing of responsibility" that you speak of. however, having more communal raising with relatives fosters cooperation and working together much more as it truly is a group effort. there is no group effort with a nanny, she's just a replacement for a mom. you can't compare communal raising of the olden days to having a nanny now.


Why does reciprocity between you and the nanny matter to the child? What matters is the quality of the caretaker, and it's not like a nanny is any less likely to be a good caretaker than an aunt.

The communal analogy is very appropriate to something like an home daycare. Back when we were hunters and gatherers, some women would take responsibility for the children while the others went and gathered. There is now a market transaction aspect, but the underlying dynamic is similar.

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dresden doll
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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby dresden doll » Fri May 25, 2012 11:02 pm

Guess I should relocate both sets of grandparents from their respective continents or I'm doing it wrong.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby sunynp » Fri May 25, 2012 11:41 pm

To me, at least, there is a huge difference between handing over the majority of the responsibility of raising your children to a complete stranger that you employ and being raised in a family group by parents/aunts/grandparents etc.


Just one anecdote for people who weren't raised with a nanny or nannies:

The nanny my mom hired to live in and to help out after my Dad got really sick (he died before I turned four and my sister was just two) pretty much saved me and my sister. She did all the day to day stuff for us for years. My mom really fell apart and took years to really get it together. I had two sets of grandparents and one set moved next door to help after my Dad (their son) got sick. But they weren't there every minute of the day with us. (And neither were my aunts or uncles, they all have jobs and work and their own kids to raise. We went on some vacations together, but with all the demands of stuff to do in a day, you can't really just trade off. Plus they didn't live that close to us to share things like taking us to school or doing homework or piano lessons or sports.)

None of them took care of us like the nanny. She has been part of our family for all these years, and yes she still gets paid, for working when she comes to help with cooking, cleaning, organizing, etc. when we are preparing for holidays. She is still often at the house even though I am gone and my sister is in college. She and my Mom are like sisters. She works for another family during the day most of the time now but she spends holidays with us and every family event. We all consider her part of our family --not just us but our cousins and aunts and uncles too.

I am as close to her, or even closer, than my Mom and my aunts and my grandparents. Don't underestimate how intimately connected with a family a nanny can become if she is the right person for you. I hope that she will help raise my kids someday.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby acrossthelake » Sat May 26, 2012 12:05 am

1) Re: the pregnant photos rayiner posted. Girl didn't even look chubby until like the 4th photo, and even then that's a belly I've seen on plenty of non-pregnant woman. Didn't look legitimately pregnant until the last. Interesting.

2) I know someone who started off her 2L summer about ready to have a baby. Her firm was like you can take the summer off and we'll give you an offer right now. She turned it down and came back after a week, but it worked out well for her. Mind you, the firm basically always gives out 100%.

3) I know a lot of lawyers at my summer job in their v. late 20s/early-mid 30s with babies/toddlers. They seem to be making it work just fine. If you can get out of biglaw after 3 years, your next job might be a great time, depending on where you go.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby Anonymous User » Sat May 26, 2012 1:21 am

I am currently due at the end of August and have an SA this summer. I have no idea what will happen offer-wise. But I think there really isn't a good time to have a child if you are pursuing law. But based on advise from mentors, I decided having a child during law school would be easier than having one as a young associate. The ideal time in my opinion would be in between fall and spring semester 2L and maybe even 3L year, as most schools will be supportive and accommodating if you have to reschedule a final. August 2L summer seemed like the 2nd best option to me. I know I am going to have to work my butt off and I am OK with that. I know I may have to go above and beyond to prove my commitment.

I also did what you mentioned and front loaded my credits my 2L year. It was a tough year, but I will be able to take a reduced load in the fall and still graduate on time.

My biggest worry is I may get fewer really challenging assignments because the supervisors might fear the possibility of an early delivery and will be afraid I might have to leave a project hanging. To help with that I plan on being super organized with notes in my files about where I am at every day on my projects so it will be easy for someone to step in if something unfortunate happens. But I have already seen some evidence that I am getting easier assignments than the other SAs in my firm and that does worry me. I am just going to do awesome jobs on what they give me and push a little to try and get what I want.

I also want to warn you that whether you choose to try for between semesters or August of 2L year, you will be pregnant and maybe not even realize it, during finals. It definitely hurt me during finals. I was exhausted and could barely study. I kept wanting to sleep instead. I could sleep for 12-16 hours straight. I managed to do fine, but I am also no longer top 5-10% of my class. Something to keep in mind if you want to do a clerkship. But my energy right now for the SA is fine.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby Anonymous User » Sat May 26, 2012 8:43 am

I'm a pregnant 2L summer too, but due in the fall, and I have been getting more work than the other summers (just because of the department I am in, I am sure, they're really busy) and my firm has been INCREDIBLY supportive. Multiple lawyers and the recruiter told me this is a great time for it and that they're happy for me. Maybe it's just because I'm not at a V100, but all my fears about it impacting my treatment seem unfounded at this juncture.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby Anonymous User » Sat May 26, 2012 9:59 am

Interesting conversation. My kid will turn two this summer and I am currently doing my 2L SA. I don't know if there is a right answer on the SAHM question. My spouse and I were both raised by SAHM (in suburbia no less, and we're not even white Rayiner!). Even if it makes us some type of unusual freaks going against norm of human history, we would like to get to the same position where one of us will stay home with the children.

rayiner wrote:The fact of the matter is that kids won't remember all the extra attention you give them before the age of 5. I have a mom that gave up a professional career to stay at home until I was 5-6, and a dad that was traveling for 3-4 months out of the year during that time. I honestly don't really remember any of that time, and while I can appreciate, in retrospect, at an intellectual level my mom's staying home, honestly it doesn't make me feel any different towards her nor do I think it made me turn out any better.

By all means try to spend as much time with your children as you can, but remember that until they're teenagers it's really more for you than it is for them.


A child doesn't have to remember an experience for the experience to have value. Any parent who has sent their toddler off to grandma's house for a week knows that even in that short time span the kid's behavior and disposition will change as the child becomes accustomed to interacting with the grandparents. One of our kid's aunts is staying with her this summer and I can tell you that my kid's behavior has started to evolve and change in the short time my kid has been with her aunt. I imagine that nannies have a great deal of influence in a child's development and play a key role in shaping the child, even though the child may not remember the experience. Most nannies are great and wonderful caretakers, but, IMHO, the child won't get the same level of care as he/she will receive from a SAHParent. The one caveat being that the SAHP must be wired to handle that role. I know some parents simply aren't fulfilled in a SAHP role.

piccolittle wrote:I actually think stay-at-home moms are less healthy for their children. Kids are narcissistic by nature; eventually it's going to be a shock for them to wake up and realize the world doesn't revolve around them, if their mom has been helicoptering around them forever.


SAHP does not necessarily mean helicopter parent. There are plenty of working parents who fit the mold of a helicopter parent (not allowing the child to experience life for herself, always trying to fix the child's problems, etc...). Plenty of working parents raise narcissistic kids, too.

rayiner wrote:Nannies who take care of your kids aren't complete strangers. They often become quite close to the family. Fundamentally, they're just people in your community sharing responsibility for raising the community's kids. It's how human society has worked for thousands of years. The intensive, isolated relationship between modern suburban stay-at-home moms and their children is something that's relatively unusual in the world.


a. You seem to be substituting the isolated, intensive SAHM relationship for an equally isolated, intensive nanny relationship.

b. "Fundamentally, [a SAHM is just a person] in your community sharing responsibility for raising the community's kids." If you're going to interpret the more traditional, communal child-rearing model in a manner expansive enough to capture the modern nanny, why are you bothering to exclude the stay-at-home parent?

acrossthelake wrote:3) I know a lot of lawyers at my summer job in their v. late 20s/early-mid 30s with babies/toddlers. They seem to be making it work just fine.


Honestly, I don't see how. I worked 8-6 this week with one evening social event and one late night at the office past 6. My commute each way is 20-30 minutes. I saw my kid less than 5 hours this week. Even on the reduced SA schedule I wasn't an active parent this week; I struggle to see how it could be better on a real biglaw schedule. I don't necessarily feel bad about it, nor am I going to give up on biglaw, but I'm not going to pretend that I'll be nearly as involved as a parent during the toddler years.

I do think there is the possibility for more involvement once the kid is older and doesn't require as much sleep.

*Sorry for any typos and grammatical errors; the little one just woke up and is hungry....

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby keg411 » Sat May 26, 2012 11:54 am

IAFG wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:not too hijack thread, but this topic is freaking me out in terms of age, career and kids. Is late twenties too late, should I start worrying about kids (am already in a relationship)? I'll be a 3L and this hasn't even crossed my mind, and reading the responses, I'm realizing a lot of people have kids/had kids around law school time. I thought - law school, work for a few years, then focus on kids, how can women possibly handle children and working as an attorney full time...

So you're going to quit work later and just focus on kids? How heartbroken will you be if you can't conceive later in life? How much money are you willing to throw at fertility treatments? Particularly if your budget realities change because you can't imagine being an attorney and a mom silmultaneously?


As someone who is already older, I'm personally willing to throw $$$$ at fertility treatments later in life if need be (because mostly likely I won't start having kids until my mid-30's if I do so at all). Would I have rather gotten married/had kids in my mid-late 20's? Yeah, but life didn't work out for me that way.

I did plan it out before I went to law school, and I'd agree that being pregnant during 2L SA is probably ideal unless you wait until you're a 3rd/4th/5th year associate. Because during the former, you're less likely to get no-offered due to pregnancy and during the latter, even if your firm does discriminate, you'll have value as a lateral.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby acrossthelake » Sat May 26, 2012 3:01 pm

rayiner wrote:The fact of the matter is that kids won't remember all the extra attention you give them before the age of 5. I have a mom that gave up a professional career to stay at home until I was 5-6, and a dad that was traveling for 3-4 months out of the year during that time. I honestly don't really remember any of that time, and while I can appreciate, in retrospect, at an intellectual level my mom's staying home, honestly it doesn't make me feel any different towards her nor do I think it made me turn out any better.

By all means try to spend as much time with your children as you can, but remember that until they're teenagers it's really more for you than it is for them.


I mean, the time between age 0 and age 5 shapes the child in fairly deeply fundamental ways. It doesn't necessarily have to be *you* giving them an adequate amount of attention, but it better be someone you trust to do it properly. You might not remember the amount of attention you were given or who gave it to you, but it shaped you as a person. In vague broad strokes, an infant that learns that somebody will care if they need help usually grows up to be a more confident, happy adult than one that learns that nobody cares. A nanny can be that person, of course, just noting that it better be someone good.


Anonymous User wrote:
acrossthelake wrote:3) I know a lot of lawyers at my summer job in their v. late 20s/early-mid 30s with babies/toddlers. They seem to be making it work just fine.


Honestly, I don't see how. I worked 8-6 this week with one evening social event and one late night at the office past 6. My commute each way is 20-30 minutes. I saw my kid less than 5 hours this week. Even on the reduced SA schedule I wasn't an active parent this week; I struggle to see how it could be better on a real biglaw schedule. I don't necessarily feel bad about it, nor am I going to give up on biglaw, but I'm not going to pretend that I'll be nearly as involved as a parent during the toddler years.

I do think there is the possibility for more involvement once the kid is older and doesn't require as much sleep.

*Sorry for any typos and grammatical errors; the little one just woke up and is hungry....


Sorry, should've specified. 1L summer, not working in biglaw, working somewhere that a lot go after biglaw for better hours, but reduced pay. Most waited to get out of biglaw, then started having babies.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby Anonymous User » Mon May 28, 2012 6:53 pm

Allow me to add to the chorus of "don't assume pregnancy will just happen." My wife and I planned to have a baby at the beginning of 3L year so it wouldn't be colicky leading up to the bar.

18 months later, we're still "trying" but realistically it's IVF time. There is nothing physically wrong with either of us. Now we're waiting until my job starts not because we want to, but we can't afford it until then.

I'll also add that I am 100% sure I would be working a night shift at the local factory instead of working biglaw if my mom hadn't spent every day with me as an infant. I was reading at age 2 and never looked back. It makes a big, big difference.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby rayiner » Mon May 28, 2012 8:17 pm

acrossthelake wrote:
rayiner wrote:The fact of the matter is that kids won't remember all the extra attention you give them before the age of 5. I have a mom that gave up a professional career to stay at home until I was 5-6, and a dad that was traveling for 3-4 months out of the year during that time. I honestly don't really remember any of that time, and while I can appreciate, in retrospect, at an intellectual level my mom's staying home, honestly it doesn't make me feel any different towards her nor do I think it made me turn out any better.

By all means try to spend as much time with your children as you can, but remember that until they're teenagers it's really more for you than it is for them.


I mean, the time between age 0 and age 5 shapes the child in fairly deeply fundamental ways. It doesn't necessarily have to be *you* giving them an adequate amount of attention, but it better be someone you trust to do it properly. You might not remember the amount of attention you were given or who gave it to you, but it shaped you as a person. In vague broad strokes, an infant that learns that somebody will care if they need help usually grows up to be a more confident, happy adult than one that learns that nobody cares. A nanny can be that person, of course, just noting that it better be someone good.


That's a separate issue. I agree that children need to be well cared-for between 0 and 5. But as long as they are given lots of attention, I don't think it matters who does it. Which is why I say that staying at home is much more for the parents' benefit than the child's.

The fact of the matter is that a lot of the hangups about spending "quality time" with small children are not supported by the facts. Indeed, when accounting for the fact that working allows families to attain a higher household income, which is positively correlated with outcomes ranging from higher test scores to higher school achievement, it is likely that having two working parents is the best thing for children: --LinkRemoved--.

When the children are older, and it becomes a matter of developing bonds between parents and children at a more intellectual level, I think the calculus might be different. But the vague hand-wavy assertions about the importance of parents spending time with children at a time when children do not remember those interactions are baseless.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby rayiner » Mon May 28, 2012 8:25 pm

I'll also add that I am 100% sure I would be working a night shift at the local factory instead of working biglaw if my mom hadn't spent every day with me as an infant. I was reading at age 2 and never looked back. It makes a big, big difference.


I couldn't read until age six, but still got 800 PSAT/SAT Verbal, -1 on LR/RC on the LSAT, etc.

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IAFG
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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby IAFG » Mon May 28, 2012 8:46 pm

Anonymous User wrote:Allow me to add to the chorus of "don't assume pregnancy will just happen." My wife and I planned to have a baby at the beginning of 3L year so it wouldn't be colicky leading up to the bar.

18 months later, we're still "trying" but realistically it's IVF time. There is nothing physically wrong with either of us. Now we're waiting until my job starts not because we want to, but we can't afford it until then.

I'll also add that I am 100% sure I would be working a night shift at the local factory instead of working biglaw if my mom hadn't spent every day with me as an infant. I was reading at age 2 and never looked back. It makes a big, big difference.

Everyone's entitled to their believies I guess, but there is no empirically supported reason to believe that this is true. It may for some reason be true in your own narrow circumstances (like your childcare alternatives were all low quality) but in general there's no reason to believe that having a SAHP leads to better behavioral or achievement outcomes for children, assuming high-quality childcare, improved socioeconomic status derived from two incomes and loving parents.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby dresden doll » Mon May 28, 2012 9:00 pm

I'm pretty sure I'd have turned out better if my mother had not stayed at home and dumped all her neuroses on me, but hey, to each their own.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby pinkcamellia » Mon May 28, 2012 9:07 pm

I think we can all agree that parenting is different for everyone. You can do everything "right" and still end up with a horrible kid. You can do everything "wrong" and have a great kid. People have judged other people's parenting styles for ages and there's still no one foolproof, perfect method to raise a child.

No one really knows what's "right" or "wrong" when it comes to parenting. Just try not to drop the baby while you're a busy student/associate, OP, and things will probably turn out just fine.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby rayiner » Mon May 28, 2012 9:18 pm

pinkcamellia wrote:I think we can all agree that parenting is different for everyone. You can do everything "right" and still end up with a horrible kid. You can do everything "wrong" and have a great kid. People have judged other people's parenting styles for ages and there's still no one foolproof, perfect method to raise a child.

No one really knows what's "right" or "wrong" when it comes to parenting. Just try not to drop the baby while you're a busy student/associate, OP, and things will probably turn out just fine.


I agree there is no "right" or "wrong" technique. That said, there are empircally-supported assertions versus unsubstantiated handwaving/superstition/self-delusion.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby Anonymous User » Mon May 28, 2012 9:31 pm

I think you may be seriously underestimating the impact having your first baby will have on your life.

I speak from experience - I have a 7 year old daughter and a 6 year old son. I did not have my babies while in law school but I did have them while working full time. It took me about 7 months to fully adjust to having my first child - emotionally and mentally. It affected my work for a long time as I had trouble adjusting to motherhood, and then at 6 weeks adjusting to leaving my baby with a caretaker all day long. Plus the third trimester of pregnancy AND the first month after giving birth can be extremely hard on you physically. And that is assuming you have no complications, no c-section, etc.

I do believe that having children and being a law student are very similar and one can prepare you for the other. The constant, never ending work. The sleepless nights. The working your butt of yet feeling like you are fumbling with everything. I do believe having children first helped to prepare me for the rigors of law school - but I would never, EVER recommend someone intentionally go through any part of law school with an infant at home.

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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby Anonymous User » Mon May 28, 2012 10:07 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I think you may be seriously underestimating the impact having your first baby will have on your life.

I speak from experience - I have a 7 year old daughter and a 6 year old son. I did not have my babies while in law school but I did have them while working full time. It took me about 7 months to fully adjust to having my first child - emotionally and mentally. It affected my work for a long time as I had trouble adjusting to motherhood, and then at 6 weeks adjusting to leaving my baby with a caretaker all day long. Plus the third trimester of pregnancy AND the first month after giving birth can be extremely hard on you physically. And that is assuming you have no complications, no c-section, etc.

I do believe that having children and being a law student are very similar and one can prepare you for the other. The constant, never ending work. The sleepless nights. The working your butt of yet feeling like you are fumbling with everything. I do believe having children first helped to prepare me for the rigors of law school - but I would never, EVER recommend someone intentionally go through any part of law school with an infant at home.


Law school during 3L with a big law offer in hand is cake. Your experience strongly suggests OP's course of action, when she can take a bunch of easy 3L classes, as opposed to going through all that as an associate.

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dresden doll
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Re: Pregnant 2L Summer

Postby dresden doll » Mon May 28, 2012 10:13 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I think you may be seriously underestimating the impact having your first baby will have on your life.

I speak from experience - I have a 7 year old daughter and a 6 year old son. I did not have my babies while in law school but I did have them while working full time. It took me about 7 months to fully adjust to having my first child - emotionally and mentally. It affected my work for a long time as I had trouble adjusting to motherhood, and then at 6 weeks adjusting to leaving my baby with a caretaker all day long. Plus the third trimester of pregnancy AND the first month after giving birth can be extremely hard on you physically. And that is assuming you have no complications, no c-section, etc.

I do believe that having children and being a law student are very similar and one can prepare you for the other. The constant, never ending work. The sleepless nights. The working your butt of yet feeling like you are fumbling with everything. I do believe having children first helped to prepare me for the rigors of law school - but I would never, EVER recommend someone intentionally go through any part of law school with an infant at home.


I had a baby in 2L. Both mine and my boyfriend's grades went up substantially after we became parents. True story, and, no, we had no family members nearby to help out with anything.

If you can't hack a baby in 3L, you can't hack a baby at all save under the most privileged of conditions.




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