need help with a cv..

(On Campus Interviews, Summer Associate positions, Firm Reviews, Tips, ...)
Forum rules
Anonymous Posting

Anonymous posting is only appropriate when you are revealing sensitive employment related information about a firm, job, etc. You may anonymously respond on topic to these threads. Unacceptable uses include: harassing another user, joking around, testing the feature, or other things that are more appropriate in the lounge.

Failure to follow these rules will get you outed, warned, or banned.
sabiah
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue May 22, 2012 9:50 pm

need help with a cv..

Postby sabiah » Tue May 22, 2012 9:56 pm

Further to our conversation this is an application for a summer work placement.

When embarking upon a question of law my immediate response would be a combination of a comprehensive fascination of imaginative thinking and assessment of microcosms’ of human relations. With such strong interest I would like to apply my academic skills in a professional manner. Having undertaken a work placement at a local Solicitor’s firm where I observed the day-to-day work in a law firm gave me an insight into the practical workings of the legal profession. I also intend to commence the OISC level 1 training course on 26th -27th May 2012 at the Immigration College London.

I am particularly interested in Birchfield Solicitors Limited because of the firm’s reputation for providing high quality legal advice, diverse client base, commitment to service and the potential for growth. The opportunity to experience the life as a trainee, your culture and your clients would provide me with an excellent insight into your work. I am confident your firm will help me to further improve upon my skills given my experience and interest. I intend to undertake the Legal Practitioner’s Course at BPP Law School Manchester in September.

My practical legal and people skills have developed as a result of my work at the Citizens Advice Bureaux. Interviewing clients, drafting legal documents, managing multiple files and preparing briefs for other departments; I learnt to be both efficient and diplomatic and to handle a number of tasks simultaneously. In addition to my understanding of the legal problems that affect ordinary people, in the areas of consumer credit, tenancy and criminal law, my experience at the bureaux increased my attention to detail. It also improved my understanding of the difficulties client’s face which I found challenging. Taking part in mooting competitions developed my confidence in applying my oral communication skills in front of an audience.

I was Student Executive officer of the Students Union in 2005, a member of the Youth Up Front Action Conference in 2006 and was awarded the National Millennium Volunteers award for achieving 200 hours of voluntary work dedicated to diversity.


This will be in the appropriate business formatted letter; it's a letter following a conversation with the director of a high street firm, whom I've become acquainted with through a trainee solicitor already at the firm. I am graduating in July; due to commence the LPC in September which we spoke about, he said in the conversation to do the LPC part time (possibility hinting working there full time) throughout the two years? He asked me to send in a covering letter and cv; could you someone please help perhaps?

User avatar
rickgrimes69
Posts: 1107
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2012 8:56 am

Re: need help with a cv..

Postby rickgrimes69 » Wed May 23, 2012 5:09 pm

sabiah wrote:Further to our conversation this is an application for a summer work placement.

When embarking upon a question of law my immediate response would be a combination of a comprehensive fascination of imaginative thinking and assessment of microcosms’ of human relations.


This quote says nothing, because you don't actually answer any question, because you don't actually ask any question. "When embarking upon a question of law?" What question is that? If they exist? This opening is vague, pretty pointless, and smacks of a humanities major with a thesaurus trying to impress people.

Having undertaken a work placement at a local Solicitor’s firm where I observed the day-to-day work in a law firm gave me an insight into the practical workings of the legal profession.


Not a grammar expert, but I'm pretty sure this sentence contains a dangling modifier. It's also very poorly worded. "Having undertaken a work placement?" Why not just say "I worked at"?

I am particularly interested in Birchfield Solicitors Limited because of the firm’s reputation for providing high quality legal advice, diverse client base, commitment to service and the potential for growth.


Congratulations, you've just described the mission statement of every law firm ever. Nothing about that is specific to that firm.

My practical legal and people skills have developed as a result of my work at the Citizens Advice Bureaux.


This tells me that everything you know about legal and people skills, you learned at the CAB. Accurate?

Interviewing clients, drafting legal documents, managing multiple files and preparing briefs for other departments; I learnt to be both efficient and diplomatic and to handle a number of tasks simultaneously.


This isn't how you use a semicolon. The first clause is just a long fragment, it's not a true sentence. Your second clause has little to do with the first, unless you're making the argument that the tasks in the first clause contributed to the development of your skills listed in the second (I'm guessing that's what you are going for, but you don't connect the clauses in any way or present any argument).

Also - is learnt a word in the UK? Because it isn't in the US.

In addition to my understanding of the legal problems that affect ordinary people, in the areas of consumer credit, tenancy and criminal law, my experience at the bureaux increased my attention to detail. It also improved my understanding of the difficulties client’s face which I found challenging. Taking part in mooting competitions developed my confidence in applying my oral communication skills in front of an audience.


If you claim attention to detail, you better be 100% damn sure you don't miss any on your own CV. And in that last quote alone, I can count at least 3 grammatical mistakes.

I was Student Executive officer of the Students Union in 2005, a member of the Youth Up Front Action Conference in 2006 and was awarded the National Millennium Volunteers award for achieving 200 hours of voluntary work dedicated to diversity.


That's cool and all, but who cares? Is any of this relevant to the job you're applying for? It's not recent at all, so it better be relevant if you thought it was important enough to include in your cover letter.

zomginternets
Posts: 547
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2011 1:59 pm

Re: need help with a cv..

Postby zomginternets » Wed May 23, 2012 6:08 pm

sabiah wrote:Further to our conversation this is an application for a summer work placement.


I agree with everything the above poster said, but wanted to emphasize that the above quoted language especially needs changing. Not only does it not make sense, but as the first words in your cover letter, it kills your chances of the reader taking the rest of your application seriously. When I see serious grammatical errors at the beginning of any letter/brief/paper/etc., it takes a LOT for my negative impression of the writer to bounce back.

sabiah
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue May 22, 2012 9:50 pm

Re: need help with a cv..

Postby sabiah » Wed May 23, 2012 10:23 pm

rickgrimes69 wrote:
sabiah wrote:Further to our conversation this is an application for a summer work placement.

When embarking upon a question of law my immediate response would be a combination of a comprehensive fascination of imaginative thinking and assessment of microcosms’ of human relations.


This quote says nothing, because you don't actually answer any question, because you don't actually ask any question. "When embarking upon a question of law?" What question is that? If they exist? This opening is vague, pretty pointless, and smacks of a humanities major with a thesaurus trying to impress people.

Having undertaken a work placement at a local Solicitor’s firm where I observed the day-to-day work in a law firm gave me an insight into the practical workings of the legal profession.


Not a grammar expert, but I'm pretty sure this sentence contains a dangling modifier. It's also very poorly worded. "Having undertaken a work placement?" Why not just say "I worked at"?

I am particularly interested in Birchfield Solicitors Limited because of the firm’s reputation for providing high quality legal advice, diverse client base, commitment to service and the potential for growth.


Congratulations, you've just described the mission statement of every law firm ever. Nothing about that is specific to that firm.

My practical legal and people skills have developed as a result of my work at the Citizens Advice Bureaux.


This tells me that everything you know about legal and people skills, you learned at the CAB. Accurate?

Interviewing clients, drafting legal documents, managing multiple files and preparing briefs for other departments; I learnt to be both efficient and diplomatic and to handle a number of tasks simultaneously.


This isn't how you use a semicolon. The first clause is just a long fragment, it's not a true sentence. Your second clause has little to do with the first, unless you're making the argument that the tasks in the first clause contributed to the development of your skills listed in the second (I'm guessing that's what you are going for, but you don't connect the clauses in any way or present any argument).

Also - is learnt a word in the UK? Because it isn't in the US.

In addition to my understanding of the legal problems that affect ordinary people, in the areas of consumer credit, tenancy and criminal law, my experience at the bureaux increased my attention to detail. It also improved my understanding of the difficulties client’s face which I found challenging. Taking part in mooting competitions developed my confidence in applying my oral communication skills in front of an audience.


If you claim attention to detail, you better be 100% damn sure you don't miss any on your own CV. And in that last quote alone, I can count at least 3 grammatical mistakes.

I was Student Executive officer of the Students Union in 2005, a member of the Youth Up Front Action Conference in 2006 and was awarded the National Millennium Volunteers award for achieving 200 hours of voluntary work dedicated to diversity.


That's cool and all, but who cares? Is any of this relevant to the job you're applying for? It's not recent at all, so it better be relevant if you thought it was important enough to include in your cover letter.



Further to our discussion, this is an application for a work placement at Birchfield Solicitors.

Having undertaken a work placement at a local Solicitor’s firm the realities of working in a law firm such as client interviews, viewing legal documents and files gave me an insight into the practical workings of the legal profession. In addition to my understanding of the legal system and the effects upon the lives of ordinary people in areas such as consumer credit, tenancy and migration, the difficulties clients’ face in such complex situations; I found this challenging.

I am particularly interested in Birchfield Solicitors Limited because of the firm’s reputation for providing quality legal advice in the areas of immigration, conveyancing and personal injury. Serving businesses and private clientele, national and international, demonstrates the potential for growth and your commitment to the legal services. The opportunity to experience the life as a trainee, your culture and your clients would provide me with an excellent insight into your work. I am confident your firm will help me to further improve upon my skills given my experience and interest. I intend to undertake the Legal Practitioner’s Course at BPP Law School Manchester in September.

Having studied the LLB full time at Keele University, working part time at Tesco Stores Limited and undergone training at the Citizens Advice Bureaux, I learnt to be both efficient and diplomatic and to handle a number of tasks simultaneously. Organizing my time for both academic and practical experience, my interpersonal and communication skills have contributed to my personal development. I also intend to commence the OISC level 1 training course on 26th -27th May 2012 at the Immigration College London.

Taking part in mooting competitions developed my confidence in applying my oral communication skills in front of an audience.

I need serious help. I posted my CV in a couple of forums of which i'm receiving all sorts of advice! now i'm unsure.

User avatar
dingbat
Posts: 4976
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 9:12 pm

Re: need help with a cv..

Postby dingbat » Wed May 23, 2012 10:38 pm

I just want to point out that a lot of the language people on this post have issues with (e.g. Further to our conversation) are awkward in the US but perfectly legit in the UK.

The use of words and formality there are very different.

OP: I strongly suggest you run this by people from England. You're getting bad advise here due to cultural differences / linguistic idiosyncrasies

JusticeJackson
Posts: 454
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:26 am

Re: need help with a cv..

Postby JusticeJackson » Wed May 23, 2012 10:51 pm

.
Last edited by JusticeJackson on Sun Jul 15, 2012 10:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

JusticeJackson
Posts: 454
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:26 am

Re: need help with a cv..

Postby JusticeJackson » Wed May 23, 2012 10:53 pm

.
Last edited by JusticeJackson on Sun Jul 15, 2012 10:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
dingbat
Posts: 4976
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 9:12 pm

Re: need help with a cv..

Postby dingbat » Wed May 23, 2012 11:02 pm

JusticeJackson wrote:
dingbat wrote:I just want to point out that a lot of the language people on this post have issues with (e.g. Further to our conversation) are awkward in the US but perfectly legit in the UK.

The use of words and formality there are very different.

OP: I strongly suggest you run this by people from England. You're getting bad advise here due to cultural differences / linguistic idiosyncrasies


Really? You think it's okay to use all kinds of unnecessary and cumbersome words in the UK? I wouldn't know. All I know is that reading his post made my head hurt.

At my firm, one of the partners is from the UK and regularly uses the kind of phrases that people in this thread have shit on. I'be lived in the UK for many years and regularly deal with foreign-trained attorneys.
Yeah, many of those weird sentences are legit there.
(doesn't mean the CV doesn't need work, though)

JusticeJackson
Posts: 454
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:26 am

Re: need help with a cv..

Postby JusticeJackson » Wed May 23, 2012 11:04 pm

.
Last edited by JusticeJackson on Sun Jul 15, 2012 10:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
dingbat
Posts: 4976
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 9:12 pm

Re: need help with a cv..

Postby dingbat » Wed May 23, 2012 11:08 pm

JusticeJackson wrote:Is this guy using the term cv correctly? I think he's shown us a cover letter. This is what I think of when I hear cv: http://www.law.harvard.edu/faculty/bebchuk/CV.pdf

You are correct.
A CV is similar to a resume. The above is more like a cover letter

zomginternets
Posts: 547
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2011 1:59 pm

Re: need help with a cv..

Postby zomginternets » Thu May 24, 2012 4:51 pm

dingbat wrote:I just want to point out that a lot of the language people on this post have issues with (e.g. Further to our conversation) are awkward in the US but perfectly legit in the UK.


I stand corrected!




Return to “Legal Employment”

Who is online

The online users are hidden on this forum.