Loose Seal wrote:Anonymous User wrote:Regarding the hours, I should mention that for one, I'm not at a biglaw shop. Two, I routinely work 60+ hour weeks, I only mentioned that 50 had been the absolute floor all summer. Three, I think we both expected that I'd work long hours as a lawyer. I think the problem was working these hours as a summer. Basically, spouse is worried that if I'm working this much now, what's it going to be like as a lawyer?
I agree with the responses that spouse needs to adjust the expecations some. I probably shouldn't have mentioned that part of it.
S/he is right to worry because s/he is right that your hours will not improve and will only get worse. It's not directly relevant to your issue with the partner (at the firm), but it will be to your partner (in life) and to you if you want to have some measure of career stability. One of my fellow first-years just left the firm we work at because he could only see his small child for fifteen minutes a day (not including periodic videochats), and that just was not the life he wanted. If you and your spouse were miserable this summer it may be worth it to consider other options to the extent they are available.
That said, your original situation with the partner sucks but it does not sound like the stuff of no-offers. Although I guess you learned a lesson about putting stuff off for too long/not regularly checking in.
Biglaw is not and will never be only 50 hours a week. A "lifestyle" shop will have you averaging 60 or so and it goes up from there. One trick that I'm finding people use is to work 9-6, go home for dinner and a few hours with family, then go back to the office or work from home for a few more hours.