adonai wrote:I appreciate your advice, but I just don't think it comes down to being prepared and asking questions, cause I feel I can do all that. I think it has more to do with social intangibles. I'm not menacing or intimidating or anything, but I just get this feel that people do not want to engage me the minute I say a word, even if I am all smiles and exceptionally social that day. Just something I cannot explain or fix I guess.
Gotcha. Totally took your concerns in the wrong direction.
I'm a pretty shy person and naturally awkward but have been able to develop a rather confident--dare I say even charismatic--personality over the years. It is most likely something that you can fix. theavrock is correct about confidence, but there is a fine line between confidence is arrogance...and faking confidence often reads as arrogance.
I think it's really just important to practice being social. Go out to bar reviews. Spend time with lots of different types of people so that you become comfortable in different social environments (and because it's fun). Learn to find that balance between the type of person who is generally likeable and your *true* personality. You can and should have both (nobody likes phonies). Learn to balance the two so that you don't lose yourself but that you feel genuinely comfortable in any social setting. The easiest way to ease into general likeability in social settings (which will carry over into interviews) is to just be nice. Be friendly. Start there and see where it takes you. I'm not implying that you're unfriendly now; you certainly seem quite nice on here. But make a concerted effort to be nice. Think of it like cooking stew. Throw in a little friendliness, then see how that works. If it's too much, step back a little and talk less to observe more. Read others' reactions, and find a good balance.