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Is there a way to check in with a firm that you haven't heard a word from in over a month without intimating that you'd take the offer if extended?

just call recruiting and ask if they have an update on your application because you have deadlines approaching. these conversations with recruiting are much less awkward than people anticipate. remember that you're speaking with recruiting, not partners- recruiting staff are generally friendly and deal with these issues all the time- it's part of the job.