Is this sentence gramatically correct?

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Anonymous User
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Is this sentence gramatically correct?

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Aug 23, 2011 7:23 am

"I am particularly interested in working at XYZ LLP because of the firm's broad range of business-related expertise, including tax law, a practice area that I am very drawn to."

Specifically, should I use a comma or semi-colon after competition law?
Last edited by Anonymous User on Tue Aug 23, 2011 7:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

Anonymous User
Posts: 273142
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Is this sentence gramatically correct?

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Aug 23, 2011 7:26 am

Comma is correct.

However, you need an extra word: "... because of the firm's broad range of business-related expertise, including in competition law, a practice area that I am very drawn to."

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JusticeHarlan
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Re: Is this sentence gramatically correct?

Postby JusticeHarlan » Tue Aug 23, 2011 7:41 am

I think it's correct, but it's a bit awkward. Maybe two sentences?

"I am particularly interested in working at XYZ LLP because of the firm's broad range of business-related expertise. For example, I am very drawn to competition law [because . . . ]."

Also keeps you from ending the sentence with a preposition.

Riles246
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Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2009 12:29 pm

Re: Is this sentence gramatically correct?

Postby Riles246 » Tue Aug 23, 2011 4:25 pm

Anonymous User wrote:"I am particularly interested in working at XYZ LLP because of the firm's broad range of business-related expertise, including tax law, a practice area that I am very drawn to."

Specifically, should I use a comma or semi-colon after competition law?


Where does the original sentence say "competition law"? I see "tax law". Anyway, if you are truly interested in tax law and the firm is big in tax law, I think you should make a bigger deal out of it- "I am particularly interested in working at XYZ LLP because of the firm's expertise in the area of tax law, as well as its broad range of business-related expertise in its other practice areas."

What's competition law?

mbaino
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Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:22 am

Re: Is this sentence gramatically correct?

Postby mbaino » Tue Aug 23, 2011 5:46 pm

JusticeHarlan wrote:I think it's correct, but it's a bit awkward. Maybe two sentences?

"I am particularly interested in working at XYZ LLP because of the firm's broad range of business-related expertise. For example, I am very drawn to competition law [because . . . ]."

Also keeps you from ending the sentence with a preposition.


+1. Make shorter, punchier sentences. Shorter sentences sound much better than rambling sentences with multiple clauses.




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