Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

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Lawquacious
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Lawquacious » Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:25 pm

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Last edited by Lawquacious on Wed Jun 29, 2011 12:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Lawquacious
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Lawquacious » Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:31 pm

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Last edited by Lawquacious on Wed Jun 29, 2011 12:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

Renzo
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Renzo » Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:45 pm

Lawquacious wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:...
...Then, while I'm looking through some files at work, one of the attorneys (jokingly) said, "I see you went casual today!" I looked at her like I had no idea what she was talking about. Then I saw her motion to my feet...and OMFG I was still wearing sandals.


Lol sorry you had a crappy day, but I think it can get way worse. I actually did the same thing with sandals earlier this summer (flip-flops in fact, although they are $90 leather flip-flops), but I work in an incredibly casual setting so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. When I apologized to the boss she said what I was wearing was fine lol, as long as they weren't cheap looking flip flops. It was still pretty embarrassing and def the first time I ever remember doing that over many years of work experience.


You have a terrible social disease: you are a one-upper, also known as a story ruiner.

Here's the cure: next time you feel the words, "that's not so bad, once I..." or "oh yeah, well, one time I did..." just shut your yap. Everyone around you will appreciate it.

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Lawquacious
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Lawquacious » Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:49 pm

....
Last edited by Lawquacious on Wed Jun 29, 2011 12:47 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Lawquacious
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Lawquacious » Sat Jun 25, 2011 12:00 am

I think the criticism is rather harsh, but then again I did react.. And there probably is at least a grain of truth about the importance of being aware of not 'one-upping' others.. So my apologies for initial reactions.. I'm not in the best mood, and I also should probably know better to avoid threads with titles like this because they tend to tick me off...
Last edited by Lawquacious on Sat Jun 25, 2011 12:12 am, edited 2 times in total.

redwings15
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby redwings15 » Sat Jun 25, 2011 12:21 am

People can be empathetic on TLS? This is revolutionary.

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PinkCow
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby PinkCow » Sat Jun 25, 2011 12:28 am

I was a clerk for a smallish litigation firm.
This was during my sophomore undergrad, so doesn't exactly apply, but my actions arguably met the idiot threshold:

Interview day: On the way, I had to gas up my car. I only wanted to put $10.00 in, so right around the $10.00 mark I pulled the nozzle out, shooting streams of gas everywhere. It took me a few seconds to realize what was going on, kind of in shock, and by that time my hands/shoes had been thoroughly gassisized. Tried to wash my hands but there's only so much you can do at that point...I'm sure the paralegal/partner thought I smelled like crap but they politely ignored it.

Same day: I'm meeting with the main partner and he finds out I went to the same high school as his son. He asks, "Oh do you know Max?" I replied, "I'm more comfortable with PCs, but my family owns one." He gave me this face :? and I tried my best poker face.

Okay, so somehow I got the job. I think it was mostly pity. A couple months in, I'm with the paralegal who was basically my boss and we're loading a couple file boxes into her car to take back to the office. And...my pants rip. I'm talking giant crotch splitting at least 10 inches long. Luckily I had a sweater but I'm pretty sure she knew something was awry. When we got back I just ran away to my car and bought pants.

Not the most exciting, but they scarred me a little :oops:

seatown12
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby seatown12 » Sat Jun 25, 2011 2:58 am

Renzo wrote:
Lawquacious wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:...
...Then, while I'm looking through some files at work, one of the attorneys (jokingly) said, "I see you went casual today!" I looked at her like I had no idea what she was talking about. Then I saw her motion to my feet...and OMFG I was still wearing sandals.


Lol sorry you had a crappy day, but I think it can get way worse. I actually did the same thing with sandals earlier this summer (flip-flops in fact, although they are $90 leather flip-flops), but I work in an incredibly casual setting so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. When I apologized to the boss she said what I was wearing was fine lol, as long as they weren't cheap looking flip flops. It was still pretty embarrassing and def the first time I ever remember doing that over many years of work experience.


You have a terrible social disease: you are a one-upper, also known as a story ruiner.

Title of the thread is: "Most Retarded Thing as Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?"
Lawquacious says: "I think it could be worse, I've actually done the same thing you did."
This is not 'one-upping' this is, as Lawquacious said, commiserating.

Lawquacious is apparently one of the few people who realized that OP was actually concerned about potentially having humilated him/herself. Renzo and the rest thought the point of this thread was to tell funny stories to try to impress internet people.

Renzo
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Renzo » Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:07 am

seatown12 wrote:
Renzo wrote:
Lawquacious wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:...
...Then, while I'm looking through some files at work, one of the attorneys (jokingly) said, "I see you went casual today!" I looked at her like I had no idea what she was talking about. Then I saw her motion to my feet...and OMFG I was still wearing sandals.


Lol sorry you had a crappy day, but I think it can get way worse. I actually did the same thing with sandals earlier this summer (flip-flops in fact, although they are $90 leather flip-flops), but I work in an incredibly casual setting so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. When I apologized to the boss she said what I was wearing was fine lol, as long as they weren't cheap looking flip flops. It was still pretty embarrassing and def the first time I ever remember doing that over many years of work experience.


You have a terrible social disease: you are a one-upper, also known as a story ruiner.

Title of the thread is: "Most Retarded Thing as Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?"
Lawquacious says: "I think it could be worse, I've actually done the same thing you did."
This is not 'one-upping' this is, as Lawquacious said, commiserating.

Lawquacious is apparently one of the few people who realized that OP was actually concerned about potentially having humilated him/herself. Renzo and the rest thought the point of this thread was to tell funny stories to try to impress internet people.


Two of Lawquacious' posts in a row were essentially telling people that their stories weren't good enough; one flat-out, and one by one-upping. He/she might be a generally pleasant and intelligent person, but being a story ruiner is no way to go through life. I'm not calling him/her out just to be a jerk (although I realize I am being one in doing so); if I were a story-ruiner I'd want someone to tell me so I could work on it.

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paratactical
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby paratactical » Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:12 am

merc280 wrote: Did you go out with his son?

Oh, boo, no, that would've been crazy.

reasonable_man wrote:I 100% believe every bit of para's story... I just wish I had been on hand to see it all..

You would've loved the shitshow settlement parties. :lol:

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vanwinkle
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby vanwinkle » Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:25 am

Lawquacious wrote:Why is this post anonymous?

Probably because it says "one of the interns at our office" and tells a story specific enough to identify the poster to anyone else working there.

If you have a problem with anon, don't complain about it in-thread. Just flag it and let us deal with it. That way you won't risk getting banned for violating this: viewtopic.php?f=23&t=130748

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Lawquacious
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Lawquacious » Sat Jun 25, 2011 4:54 pm

..
Last edited by Lawquacious on Wed Jun 29, 2011 12:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Lawquacious » Sat Jun 25, 2011 4:55 pm

...
Last edited by Lawquacious on Wed Jun 29, 2011 12:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

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NoleinNY
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby NoleinNY » Sat Jun 25, 2011 9:26 pm

Thankfully, the dumbest thing I've done was leave my building access card at home (45 minute drive). I've seen and heard some crazy stuff though.

I went to a local bar association meet-and-greet. I'm standing with a group that includes an old judge (who went to my UG alma mater), a T30 girl and a Harvard girl. The judge tells us a few cool stories for the bench when he mentions one guy who got off because off who he didn't feel should've. The Harvard girl, a 2L SA at a BigLaw Firm, nods understandingly and asks the judge what happens after a guy is acquitted...

Yes, I understand that she is probably uninterested in criminal law professionally and probably didn't take crim pro.... But still....

This next one didn't happen there (or to me) but I heard it from a different SA (let's call him John) I met at the aforementioned local bar association meet-and-greet.

Two SA's were working together (John, and another dude) when they started talking about random stuff. College sports came up. John was from a T20 law school but went to a Big State Football School UG; the other guy was from. a different traditional football school and another T20. One thing leads to another, my acquaintance mentioned something he heard on ESPN the other week and the other dude (just on impulse) responded a bit too loud yelling "Fuck those *Arch Rival School* f***ots!"

A partner nearby heard it and chewed the kid out.

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BriaTharen
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby BriaTharen » Mon Jun 27, 2011 1:49 am

Haven't done anything too stupid yet, but I start my clerkship in a few days so I have plenty of time to screw up.

The particular favorite story from our career services office (other than the general clerk got trashed and threw up on a partner, and the drunk clerk that hit on a name partner's wife) is a clerk who was completely oblivious to what the firm's Lexis/Westlaw subscription was. She managed to rack up a $9,000-$10,000 bill in non-subscription searches in her 6 weeks.

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pleasetryagain
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby pleasetryagain » Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:43 am

Story I heard the other day:

Guy works for big firm over summer - we'll call him John. John is lazy/not-too-bright but his father (big client of the firm) called in some favors to get him the job. He shows up and goes through the motions for a while then just doesn't show up for 1.5 weeks. Firm tries to contact him repeatedly with no success. At first they are annoyed, then they begin to worry that he is hurt, sick, dead, etc. Eventually one of the partners calls Johns father and says "wtf, what happened to your son duder" (or something like that). The father has no idea and promises to contact John and get them in touch. John realizes he is discovered and calls the firm profusely apologizing and swearing that he was sick AND that his phone did not work so he was not able to contact them (lame fucking excuse to begin with). He must have forgot that he friended a large portion of the office staff on facebook because he posted pictures over the entire 1.5 weeks that he spent at the beach with the little "via Facebook for iPhone" tag on them. When eh gets back one of the staff members, who had no idea he wasn't supposed to be gone, asks "Hey, John, how was your vacation - looks like you had a great time" Partner overhears, asks to see the pictures. John shits himself.


Unfortunately (or fortunately) Johns dad was a REALLY big client and after no-showing for 1.5 weeks so he could go to the beach, then lying about it, he was still able to keep his job at full pay with little consequence.

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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby worldtraveler » Mon Jun 27, 2011 12:51 pm

In my office, a couple of years ago apparently an intern got involved with the brother of one of the attorneys. The two ran away to another country together for a while, then the intern had enough of that and went back to finish school. Now the brother is the town drunk and sits on the side of the road shouting stuff at people.

Anonymous User
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Jul 02, 2011 8:34 pm

At my firm, apparently two clerks got completely trashed and made out at a firm event.

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TheFutureLawyer
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby TheFutureLawyer » Sat Jul 02, 2011 9:17 pm

Anonymous User wrote:At my firm, apparently two clerks got completely trashed and made out at a firm event.


The people like this in this thread give me hope that I will not be the most clueless new lawyer / intern that the firm I work for has. Seriously, how do you make it to law school and still not know how much you can handle / when it's okay to get wasted?

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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby thesealocust » Sat Jul 02, 2011 9:51 pm

TheFutureLawyer wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:At my firm, apparently two clerks got completely trashed and made out at a firm event.


The people like this in this thread give me hope that I will not be the most clueless new lawyer / intern that the firm I work for has. Seriously, how do you make it to law school and still not know how much you can handle / when it's okay to get wasted?


It's kind of OK to get wasted at these. You shouldn't, but they aren't putting out enormous full bars for the hell of it. There's a wide gap between where 'imprudent' starts and where 'actually going to get no-offered' begins. My guess is the love birds were firmly inbetween.

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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Renzo » Sat Jul 02, 2011 9:53 pm

thesealocust wrote:
TheFutureLawyer wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:At my firm, apparently two clerks got completely trashed and made out at a firm event.


The people like this in this thread give me hope that I will not be the most clueless new lawyer / intern that the firm I work for has. Seriously, how do you make it to law school and still not know how much you can handle / when it's okay to get wasted?


It's kind of OK to get wasted at these. You shouldn't, but they aren't putting out enormous full bars for the hell of it. There's a wide gap between where 'imprudent' starts and where 'actually going to get no-offered' begins. My guess is the love birds were firmly inbetween.


Yeah, I actually agree. Summer-on-summer love isn't quite to the no-offer level of debauchery.

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thesealocust
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby thesealocust » Sat Jul 02, 2011 9:56 pm

I think the bad economy and difficulty GETTING big firm jobs has left everyone with PTSD. A group of summers will be walking down the street, hear a taxi backfire, and start crying and rushing for cover and desperately mumbling things about it being too late to sign up for 3L OCI and how drab debtor's prison must be.

Renzo
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Renzo » Sat Jul 02, 2011 9:59 pm

thesealocust wrote:I think the bad economy and difficulty GETTING big firm jobs has left everyone with PTSD. A group of summers will be walking down the street, hear a taxi backfire, and start crying and rushing for cover and desperately mumbling things about it being too late to sign up for 3L OCI and how drab debtor's prison must be.


Hell, I watched a senior associate get so drunk he yelled at one summer, then punched another. I've seen a SA puke; and I've seen a recruiter crying-drunk. It's been a good summer.

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TheFutureLawyer
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby TheFutureLawyer » Sat Jul 02, 2011 11:07 pm

Renzo wrote:
thesealocust wrote:
TheFutureLawyer wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:At my firm, apparently two clerks got completely trashed and made out at a firm event.


The people like this in this thread give me hope that I will not be the most clueless new lawyer / intern that the firm I work for has. Seriously, how do you make it to law school and still not know how much you can handle / when it's okay to get wasted?


It's kind of OK to get wasted at these. You shouldn't, but they aren't putting out enormous full bars for the hell of it. There's a wide gap between where 'imprudent' starts and where 'actually going to get no-offered' begins. My guess is the love birds were firmly inbetween.


Yeah, I actually agree. Summer-on-summer love isn't quite to the no-offer level of debauchery.


Well if all they did was make out, then who cares. But when I hear the words 'completely trashed' I get flashbacks more similar to this:

Renzo wrote:Hell, I watched a senior associate get so drunk he yelled at one summer, then punched another. I've seen a SA puke; and I've seen a recruiter crying-drunk. It's been a good summer.

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schwar46
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby schwar46 » Sun Jul 03, 2011 8:26 am

Anonymous User wrote:...It just might be this.

I am a volunteer clerk at a state agency this summer for 1L job. I am subletting a place a few blocks away from work. I wear sandals into the shower since the people in the house I'm subletting from are...ahem...disgusting. So I changed into my suit after my shower, grabbed my lunch, went out the door, not noticing a thing that could be wrong...

...Then, while I'm looking through some files at work, one of the attorneys (jokingly) said, "I see you went casual today!" I looked at her like I had no idea what she was talking about. Then I saw her motion to my feet...and OMFG I was still wearing sandals. I had not even noticed (my office shoes are closed-toe flats, btw, not heels). I never do this kind of shit at a job. Never. I am notoriously over-prepared. And I have never been this mortified.

I felt my face turn the brightest shade of red I've ever experienced, and stuttered out that I had not even realized I had not changed my shoes. I grabbed a file and tried to work from my desk for a minute so no one would notice my utter stupid-fuckery, and figure out how to remedy the situation without looking like even more of a retard---ask to go home and change shoes? Wait until lunch? But the damage was already done. In another minute, one of the attorneys came by and told me that I would need to either work from the desk and change at lunch or go when I finished up the file I was working on. I apologized more profusely than I ever have in my life, opting to go home as soon as the file was done so I could avoid any more embarrassment. I asked who had noticed the shoes...she said, "oh, everybody."

It gets worse.

One of the attorneys was mystified that I had taken a file to start to work on by myself. I thought this was what they wanted, since the attorneys kept saying I could do this when I was ready, and all of the other 1L and 2L interns were doing these on their own. And all day last Friday I kept talking about how I felt ready and would "jump in" and do one on my own on Monday, that I would do so on Monday, and all I got was smiles and nods. No one every seemed to indicate otherwise. In fact, an attorney who knows/ has mentored me saw me looking at it, asked me "are you going to do that one?", and I said "sure, I can if that's good." She was OK with this too, and told me to ask if I had any questions.

At this point, with an attorney telling me how wrong I was to start working on this, I was devastated. I tried to explain all this, that I was trying to be proactive and productive and meet expectations etc etc., but she just kept looking at me like I'm crazy. She said that no one ever does anything here without being told to do it first, and that what I'd done was very "odd behavior....our liability...no one specifically authorized..."

There is some good news, though. The other attorneys I saw today were on my side. One saw how upset I looked and told me it wasn't my fault. I thoroughly apologized to anyone and everyone and no one seemed to be upset about it or even care, but I still feel like the biggest pile of shit ever. And I feel like all I was trying to do was be a good worker.

F*CK. That's all I can say. F*CK today.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Seppuku-2.jpg

Seppuku.




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