Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

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theturkeyisfat
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby theturkeyisfat » Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:50 am

paratactical wrote:My first week in NYC biglaw, I tried to invite the cute guy from the mailroom out to do shots with me after work. I accidentally invited a senior partner who happened to have a very similar name. Rather than email me back, senior partner showed up, did two shots with me, and then warned me to be careful about who I emailed booze invites to.


that's awesome

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fatduck
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby fatduck » Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:56 am

theturkeyisfat wrote:
paratactical wrote:My first week in NYC biglaw, I tried to invite the cute guy from the mailroom out to do shots with me after work. I accidentally invited a senior partner who happened to have a very similar name. Rather than email me back, senior partner showed up, did two shots with me, and then warned me to be careful about who I emailed booze invites to.


that's awesome

note: this will probably only work if you're para

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paratactical
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby paratactical » Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:24 am

northwood wrote:did he buy any of the shots??

He bought them all.

fatduck wrote:
theturkeyisfat wrote:that's awesome

note: this will probably only work if you're para


I was so fucking mortified.

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romothesavior
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby romothesavior » Wed Jun 22, 2011 10:33 am

paratactical wrote:
northwood wrote:did he buy any of the shots??

He bought them all.

fatduck wrote:
theturkeyisfat wrote:that's awesome

note: this will probably only work if you're para


I was so fucking mortified.

So when he walked in (I'm guessing in a fab suit that a mailroom boy cannot afford), what was your reaction? Obvs you had to know you were meeting the wrong guy. This is hiarious.

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paratactical
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby paratactical » Wed Jun 22, 2011 11:19 am

romothesavior wrote:So when he walked in (I'm guessing in a fab suit that a mailroom boy cannot afford), what was your reaction? Obvs you had to know you were meeting the wrong guy. This is hiarious.

I turned a fabulous shade of red and he advised me that mailroom guy was a Mets fan and they don't get far in life. I told him I was a Red Sox fan and he made a joke about how he hoped it didn't take me 86 years to come around and that he could introduce me to his son if I wanted. There are not many moments in my life where I was shocked into mostly silence, but this was definitely one of them. For the next five years I worked there, every time he saw me, he asked me when we were going to go do shots again. I actually ended up getting tossed with him after one settlement and we forced all the junior attorneys to do tons of shots and laughed at the funny faces they made trying to drink some Jamo. One of the juniors got so shiatfaced that night that he projectile vomited all over the hotel. He lateraled pretty soon after that.

CreativityKing
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby CreativityKing » Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:19 pm

--LinkRemoved--

Using the r-word to refer to a person w/ cognitive disabilities = Using the n-word to refer to a black person, or using the f-word to refer to a gay person.

Just sayin'.

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romothesavior
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby romothesavior » Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:23 pm

CreativityKing wrote:http://www.r-word.org/

Using the r-word to refer to a person w/ cognitive disabilities = Using the n-word to refer to a black person, or using the f-word to refer to a gay person.

Just sayin'.

I agree it is probably offensive and is certainly in poor taste, but it is nowhere near the level of the other two.

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Borhas
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Borhas » Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:25 pm

CreativityKing wrote:http://www.r-word.org/

Using the r-word to refer to a person w/ cognitive disabilities = Using the n-word to refer to a black person, or using the f-word to refer to a gay person.

Just sayin'.


playin' devil's advocate

the first mostly offends the friends and relations of the those w/ cognitive disabilities
the second and third do that, but also directly offend

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Verity
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Verity » Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:26 pm

Borhas wrote:
CreativityKing wrote:http://www.r-word.org/

Using the r-word to refer to a person w/ cognitive disabilities = Using the n-word to refer to a black person, or using the f-word to refer to a gay person.

Just sayin'.


playin' devil's advocate

the first mostly offends the friends and relations of the those w/ cognitive disabilities
the second and third do that, but also directly offend


They won't be offended, anyway. No harm, no foul.

CreativityKing
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby CreativityKing » Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:44 pm

Borhas wrote:
CreativityKing wrote:http://www.r-word.org/

Using the r-word to refer to a person w/ cognitive disabilities = Using the n-word to refer to a black person, or using the f-word to refer to a gay person.

Just sayin'.


playin' devil's advocate

the first mostly offends the friends and relations of the those w/ cognitive disabilities
the second and third do that, but also directly offend



Having a cognitive disability does not preclude one from understanding anything about how he or she is being addressed/referred to. Many (most?) people on the spectrum of cognitive disabilities would be offended to be referred to with the r-word.

With that being said, and assuming you are arguing that my equality wasn't fully accurate (and you are not arguing that that makes it OK to use the r-word), I'll revise:

Using the r-word to refer to a person w/ cognitive disabilities ~ Using the n-word to refer to a black person, or using the f-word to refer to a gay person.

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Borhas
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Borhas » Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:50 pm

CreativityKing wrote:Using the r-word to refer to a person w/ cognitive disabilities ~ Using the n-word to refer to a black person, or using the f-word to refer to a gay person.


yeah that makes sense

but I was thinking of situations where we refer to people w/ normal cognitive skills (but who do something foolish) as retards

seatown12
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby seatown12 » Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:59 pm

sticks and stones

if there's no malice who cares about crude word choice

see South Park episode involving bikers

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crumpetsandtea
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby crumpetsandtea » Wed Jun 22, 2011 2:48 pm

paratactical wrote:
romothesavior wrote:So when he walked in (I'm guessing in a fab suit that a mailroom boy cannot afford), what was your reaction? Obvs you had to know you were meeting the wrong guy. This is hiarious.

I turned a fabulous shade of red and he advised me that mailroom guy was a Mets fan and they don't get far in life. I told him I was a Red Sox fan and he made a joke about how he hoped it didn't take me 86 years to come around and that he could introduce me to his son if I wanted. There are not many moments in my life where I was shocked into mostly silence, but this was definitely one of them. For the next five years I worked there, every time he saw me, he asked me when we were going to go do shots again. I actually ended up getting tossed with him after one settlement and we forced all the junior attorneys to do tons of shots and laughed at the funny faces they made trying to drink some Jamo. One of the juniors got so shiatfaced that night that he projectile vomited all over the hotel. He lateraled pretty soon after that.

Para, you're my hero. Teach me how to be awesome?

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Kilpatrick
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Kilpatrick » Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:56 pm

Oh hey let's take this awesome thread full of funny stories and turn it into a debate about the word retarded. :evil:

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paratactical
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby paratactical » Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:59 pm

crumpetsandtea wrote:Para, you're my hero. Teach me how to be awesome?

Booze. YW.

Anonymous User
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Anonymous User » Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:31 pm

(Posting anonymously because I'm still embarrassed about this.)

During the first few weeks of my job as a legal intern at a smallish firm, my work was mostly filing and delivering documents to courts or opposing counsel in urgent (deadline-imminent) situations. On a Friday afternoon, the partner I worked for asked me to deliver a box of documents to a nearby big-law firm. When I arrived at the office, I told the receptionist I had a delivery for "Attorney Jones," and she told me that she was out of town but her assistant was down the hall. After walking down the hall, getting lost, and asking for help I was pointed upstairs to Jones's office. Her office was empty, but the door was open, so I placed the box on her chair as was customary for the attorneys at the firm where I worked. To make sure she received it, I knocked on the next door and told the attorney the firm I was from and that I was dropping off documents.

She. flipped. out. She yelled at me for a good 10 minutes because I had ventured into the attorney office area about me being from "opposing counsel" and that there were "numerous documents" with "attorney client privilege,' etc. She asked me several times if I was "serving her" (I had no idea, but I was pretty sure I wasn't). When I told her I had been pointed there by reception, she brought me down there and yelled at the receptionist for 5 minutes. At this point I (a rising college freshman) was terrified and certain that I was going to get my firm in trouble. When she threatened to call the named partner in charge of the firm and asked for my name, I froze. As an avid baseball fan, the first names I thought of were "Juan Pierre" and "Jose Reyes." I decided my fake name needed to be somewhat more consistent with my ethnicity and settled on "Francis Cooper." I wrote the name down for the attorney and slunk back to my firm.

Rather than telling anyone what happened, I wrote a note that explained the story, placed it on my boss's desk, and left for the day.

The next day, the partner I worked for called me in. He was extraordinarily kind in telling me the firm expected a certain degree of professionalism and there was no situation that merited a fake name. He also told me there were a lot of people in the legal profession with a **** up their ****. Then he added, "And what the hell were you thinking getting inside her office and not bringing me back any information?"

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pleasetryagain
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby pleasetryagain » Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:45 pm

Anonymous User wrote: I decided my fake name needed to be somewhat more consistent with my ethnicity and settled on "Francis Cooper." I wrote the name down for the attorney and slunk back to my firm.

Rather than telling anyone what happened, I wrote a note that explained the story, placed it on my boss's desk, and left for the day.


how could you possibly think this was a good idea?

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fatduck
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby fatduck » Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:57 pm

pleasetryagain wrote:
Anonymous User wrote: I decided my fake name needed to be somewhat more consistent with my ethnicity and settled on "Francis Cooper." I wrote the name down for the attorney and slunk back to my firm.

Rather than telling anyone what happened, I wrote a note that explained the story, placed it on my boss's desk, and left for the day.


how could you possibly think this was a good idea?

seriously. in these situations, you always use Ron Mexico.

071816
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby 071816 » Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:34 pm

fatduck wrote:
pleasetryagain wrote:
Anonymous User wrote: I decided my fake name needed to be somewhat more consistent with my ethnicity and settled on "Francis Cooper." I wrote the name down for the attorney and slunk back to my firm.

Rather than telling anyone what happened, I wrote a note that explained the story, placed it on my boss's desk, and left for the day.


how could you possibly think this was a good idea?

seriously. in these situations, you always use Ron Mexico.


I prefer the fake name Joshua Tit...but that's just me.

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themillsman22
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby themillsman22 » Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:52 pm

Sorry to hear OP, but most people I know have stories like yours, and very few have suffered any long term consequences (if you work at a place that would treat you differently, you probably don't want to work there anyways, right?). Anyways, you're not alone, I wouldn't stress.

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Verity
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby Verity » Wed Jun 22, 2011 6:41 pm

chimp wrote:
fatduck wrote:
pleasetryagain wrote:
Anonymous User wrote: I decided my fake name needed to be somewhat more consistent with my ethnicity and settled on "Francis Cooper." I wrote the name down for the attorney and slunk back to my firm.

Rather than telling anyone what happened, I wrote a note that explained the story, placed it on my boss's desk, and left for the day.


how could you possibly think this was a good idea?

seriously. in these situations, you always use Ron Mexico.


I prefer the fake name Joshua Tit...but that's just me.


Art Vandalay is the default.

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AreJay711
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby AreJay711 » Wed Jun 22, 2011 6:53 pm

pleasetryagain wrote:
Anonymous User wrote: I decided my fake name needed to be somewhat more consistent with my ethnicity and settled on "Francis Cooper." I wrote the name down for the attorney and slunk back to my firm.

Rather than telling anyone what happened, I wrote a note that explained the story, placed it on my boss's desk, and left for the day.


how could you possibly think this was a good idea?

I know right? Giving the attorney's name was dumb.

schooner
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby schooner » Fri Jun 24, 2011 1:51 pm

Don't feel bad. If this is the worst mistake you've made so far, you're golden.

Besides, not all bigwig law firms have stuffy dress codes -

http://thecareerist.typepad.com/thecare ... down-.html
High-Powered Lawyers Wear Flip Flops

merc280
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby merc280 » Fri Jun 24, 2011 6:45 pm

paratactical wrote:
romothesavior wrote:So when he walked in (I'm guessing in a fab suit that a mailroom boy cannot afford), what was your reaction? Obvs you had to know you were meeting the wrong guy. This is hiarious.

I turned a fabulous shade of red and he advised me that mailroom guy was a Mets fan and they don't get far in life. I told him I was a Red Sox fan and he made a joke about how he hoped it didn't take me 86 years to come around and that he could introduce me to his son if I wanted. There are not many moments in my life where I was shocked into mostly silence, but this was definitely one of them. For the next five years I worked there, every time he saw me, he asked me when we were going to go do shots again. I actually ended up getting tossed with him after one settlement and we forced all the junior attorneys to do tons of shots and laughed at the funny faces they made trying to drink some Jamo. One of the juniors got so shiatfaced that night that he projectile vomited all over the hotel. He lateraled pretty soon after that.





Did you go out with his son?

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reasonable_man
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Re: Most Retarded Thing a Summer Clerk Has Ever Done?

Postby reasonable_man » Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:15 pm

I 100% believe every bit of para's story... I just wish I had been on hand to see it all..




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