Please Proofread my Summer Internship Email?

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Paraflam
Posts: 472
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:09 pm

Please Proofread my Summer Internship Email?

Postby Paraflam » Thu May 19, 2011 8:12 pm

Alright so I need a job for this summer and I really want to work in a law office to learn more about the profession I'm getting into. I really don't care if I'm filing papers, answering phones, or making somebody's coffee. I'm trying to come up with an email to send to any law office I can find in my general area, but I want to make sure it's somewhat polished and professional. Can anyone read this over and offer any suggestions or corrections I can make to this letter? Is this even the best way to go about getting a summer internship? Thanks in advance!

Hello,

My name is XXXX XXXX and I will be a junior in college this fall. I am strongly interested in attending law school and pursuing a career in the field after completing my undergraduate study, but I want to find out more about the different areas of the profession before I make the commitment to law school. I was wondering if your law office is in need of a summer intern who is genuinely interested in gaining experience and learning more about the field. I would love the opportunity to work at your office in any capacity you might require.

Please find my résumé attached. If you need any additional information, I would be happy to provide it. Thank you very much for your time.

Sincerely,
XXXXX XXXXXXX
Last edited by Paraflam on Thu May 19, 2011 8:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Knock
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Re: Please Proofread my Summer Internship Email?

Postby Knock » Thu May 19, 2011 8:13 pm

Paraflam wrote:Alright so I need a job for this summer and I really want to work in a law office to learn more about the profession I'm getting into. I really don't care if I'm filing papers, answering phones, or making somebody's coffee. I'm trying to come up with an email to send to any law office I can find in my general area, but I want to make sure it's somewhat polished and professional. Can anyone read this over and offer any suggestions or corrections I can make to this letter? Thanks in advance!

Hello,

My name is XXXX XXXX and I will be a junior in college this fall. I am strongly interested in attending law school and pursuing a career in the field after completing my undergraduate study, but I want to find out more about the different areas of the profession before I make the commitment to law school. I was wondering if your law office is in need of a summer intern who is genuinely interested in gaining experience and learning more about the field. I would love the opportunity to work at your office in any capacity you might require.

Please find my résumé attached. If you need any additional information, I would be happy to provide it. Thank you very much for your time.

Sincerely,
XXXXX XXXXXXX


Looks good. Perhaps add something about if they don't need an intern right now to please keep you in mind for any future openings.

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Paraflam
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Re: Please Proofread my Summer Internship Email?

Postby Paraflam » Thu May 19, 2011 8:17 pm

Good idea, thank you. Should I also add something to the effect of, "if you don't need anybody right now, do you know any other lawyer who does?"

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Knock
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Re: Please Proofread my Summer Internship Email?

Postby Knock » Thu May 19, 2011 8:22 pm

Paraflam wrote:Good idea, thank you. Should I also add something to the effect of, "if you don't need anybody right now, do you know any other lawyer who does?"


I probably wouldn't, at least not in an initial letter. Maybe if they say they don't have any openings you could respond with that.

You should also consider contacting some attorneys and seeing if they would be willing to meet and discuss the legal profession with you. That could be a good setting to see if they know any firms that need interns.

Seeing if your professors have any legal contacts and asking them to put you in touch with them is another strategy you could try if your initial emailing doesn't work out. I think what you're doing is a good idea though and a good way to go about it.

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Cool Brees
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Re: Please Proofread my Summer Internship Email?

Postby Cool Brees » Fri May 20, 2011 11:21 am

Paraflam wrote:Hello,

My name is XXXX XXXX "," and I will be a junior in college this fall. I am strongly interested in attending law school and pursuing a career in the LEGAL field after completing my undergraduate study. , but I want to find out moreI WOULD LIKE TO LEARN MORE about the different areas of the profession before I make the commitment to law school. I was wondering AM E-MAILING TO INQUIRE if your law office is in need of a summer intern who is genuinely interested in gaining experience and learning more about the field. I would love the opportunity to work at your office in any capacity you might require.

Please find my résumé attached. If you need any additional information, I would be happy to provide it. Thank you very much for your time.

Sincerely,
XXXXX XXXXXXX


edit: removed comma
Last edited by Cool Brees on Fri May 20, 2011 1:27 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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npe
Posts: 138
Joined: Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:39 pm

Re: Please Proofread my Summer Internship Email?

Postby npe » Fri May 20, 2011 11:39 am

Cool Brees wrote:
Paraflam wrote:Hello,

My name is XXXX XXXX "," and I will be a junior in college this fall. I am strongly interested in attending law school and pursuing a career in the LEGAL field after completing my undergraduate study. , but I want to find out moreI WOULD LIKE TO LEARN MORE about the different areas of the profession "," before I make the commitment to law school. I was wondering AM E-MAILING TO INQUIRE if your law office is in need of a summer intern who is genuinely interested in gaining experience and learning more about the field. I would love the opportunity to work at your office in any capacity you might require.

Please find my résumé attached. If you need any additional information, I would be happy to provide it. Thank you very much for your time.

Sincerely,
XXXXX XXXXXXX


Yes on the first comma, but why the second?

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Cool Brees
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Nov 23, 2010 9:29 am

Re: Please Proofread my Summer Internship Email?

Postby Cool Brees » Fri May 20, 2011 1:26 pm

It seemed like a natural pause the first time I read it. Upon a second read, the dependent clause fits fine because it is at the end of the sentence. If the "before" phrase was at the beginning of the sentence, it would need a comma. Since it is not a strong contrasting dependent clause, it should not have a comma.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/02/

At first I was like...
11. Use commas wherever necessary to prevent possible confusion or misreading.


But, then I was like...
15. Don't put a comma after the main clause when a dependent (subordinate) clause follows it (except for cases of extreme contrast).

Incorrect (extreme contrast):She was late for class, because her alarm clock was broken. (incorrect)

Incorrect:The cat scratched at the door, while I was eating.

Correct:She was still quite upset, although she had won the Oscar.(This comma use is correct because it is an example of extreme contrast)

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Paraflam
Posts: 472
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Re: Please Proofread my Summer Internship Email?

Postby Paraflam » Fri May 20, 2011 2:34 pm

Really appreciate the help, thanks everyone.

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Paraflam
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Re: Please Proofread my Summer Internship Email?

Postby Paraflam » Fri May 20, 2011 3:12 pm

Does anyone have any more ideas on where I can look for a summer job that would even remotely relate to the legal field? Should I get in touch with the county courthouse? I'm drawing a blank.

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gwuorbust
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Joined: Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:37 pm

Re: Please Proofread my Summer Internship Email?

Postby gwuorbust » Sat May 21, 2011 3:39 pm

while you are a 0L, I'd suggest looking for an internship with a legal aid office, public advocacy organization, work on the Hill (probably all gone by now, but you might be able to talk to your congressman). I think it is doubtful that you will find work in a legal office for the summer. Most law students would be extremely hard pressed to do that this late in the game. As a 0L you have no chance..unless you were doing paralegal or support staff work. And even then, I doubt they will need to hire someone to do support staff work for 3 months. Your best bet I think is like I said above, some type of public interest or advocacy work.




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