Socialization as an SA Forum

Kohinoor · Post by **Kohinoor** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 4:37 pm

Anonymous User wrote:Boys boys boys. You know that isn't going to happen. I am posting anonymously for a reason - I don't want to proclaim my social ineptitude to the world.

Speaking candidly, if you're pretty and physically present at events, you're 90% of the way there. Pay attention when someone is speaking so you can ask the occasional followup question. Your audience is people much like yourself.

Big Shrimpin · Post by **Big Shrimpin** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 4:45 pm

OP, what firm?

Stanford4Me · Post by **Stanford4Me** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 4:49 pm

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 4:51 pm

Big Shrimpin wrote:OP, what firm?

Technically regional, but large/market pay firm that only takes tech clients, but has a variety of practice areas. You might be able to guess, but I prefer not to say.

For fun: Diag as a child (around 10ish?), and yes, was generally popular in high school, but I also went to a super-nerdy high school....soo......

Stanislaw Carter · Post by **Stanislaw Carter** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 4:55 pm

Kind of funny that a person with asperger's is being hounded by curious TLSers with questions. It's like they've never encountered a person with asperger's, despite posting here...

Rock-N-Roll · Post by **Rock-N-Roll** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 4:57 pm

I do believe that OP was truly diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome by a physician.

In the last few years as Autism awareness has increased there has also been a significant increase in the diagnosis of both Autism and Asperger's by primary care providers (esp pediatricians). There are likely many reasons for the increase but at the end of the day, many patients now being diagnosed don't strictly fit the original/historical criteria for these disorders.

Autism was previously defined as a severe cognitive and expressive impairment often with compulsive behavioral features. Asperger's was a variant of Autisim (in a small subset of patients) where there was some increased function (often in terms of language skills) but still with significant overall cognitive impairment. Dustin Hoffman's character in Rain Man was probably meant to portray Asperger's (although he was a special case still as his character was a savant which is extremely rare).

People think of Autism/Asperger's as primarily social disorders but really they were originally identified as cognitive disorders with social/expressive impairment being a main feature.

Historically, social impairment in a normal cognitive patient fell under the category of personality disorders but it seems (to me at least) that personality disorders are being diagnosed less these days.

flexityflex86 · Post by **flexityflex86** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 5:04 pm

I think being shy and timid works against men more than it does against women. I think like with anything else as long as you are able to predict how your actions/words impact others before you say them, and are reliable, you'll be good. Just be comfortable, and be yourself - that's what got you hired.

Oh, and for what it's worth, I wouldn't care if a girl has aspergers as long as she's capable of being reliable - she'd prob have less drama.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 5:39 pm

I think the summary is that I am fretting too much. That is fair.

As for being reliable, I have a lot of WE, and from this, I know I have a tendency to be a complete workaholic. Work ethic/reliability/promptness of reply to e-mail is on my side (I think).

flexityflex86 · Post by **flexityflex86** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 5:42 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I think the summary is that I am fretting too much. That is fair.

As for being reliable, I have a lot of WE, and from this, I know I have a tendency to be a complete workaholic. Work ethic/reliability/promptness of reply to e-mail is on my side (I think).

I don't think anyone cares if you have aspergers. They have their own lives with their own problems, their spouce's problems and their kids' problems. I think everybody wants to treat people fairly, but deep down nobody cares all that much. Just do your shit, don't be a piece of shit and nobody will care.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 7:37 pm

I guess that I have heard that, in addition to your work product, if you are liked (not just not disliked)/socializing with people from the firm is important in getting an offer/progressing well at a firm. Maybe that isn't as important as it was made to seem to me.

Stanislaw Carter · Post by **Stanislaw Carter** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 7:52 pm

I guess that I have heard that, in addition to your work product, if you are liked (not just not disliked)/socializing with people from the firm is important in getting an offer/progressing well at a firm. Maybe that isn't as important as it was made to seem to me.

If you do good work, and a lot of it, you'l be fine. The "likability" part enters the equation in terms of rainmaking, and lack of rainmaking ability can limit your chances at partnership. Outside of that, your likability also determines who your allies will be when you're actually up for partnership. Therefore, in terms of advancement, likability is really only hugely important for partnership (in my opinion). If you don't plan on staying at the firm, then this is a moot point.

rose711 · Post by **rose711** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 7:59 pm

Your work product is the most important aspect of your summer. Being serious/professional/quiet is not a deal breaker for getting a job. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself to be someone that you are not. You will be fine.

Just try to be confident and believe in yourself. These people would not have offered you a summer job if they didn't think you would be an asset to their firm.

flexityflex86 · Post by **flexityflex86** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 7:59 pm

Stanislaw Carter wrote:
I guess that I have heard that, in addition to your work product, if you are liked (not just not disliked)/socializing with people from the firm is important in getting an offer/progressing well at a firm. Maybe that isn't as important as it was made to seem to me.
If you do good work, and a lot of it, you'l be fine. The "likability" part enters the equation in terms of rainmaking, and lack of rainmaking ability can limit your chances at partnership. Outside of that, your likability also determines who your allies will be when you're actually up for partnership. Therefore, in terms of advancement, likability is really only hugely important for partnership (in my opinion). If you don't plan on staying at the firm, then this is a moot point.

Right. I'm a 0L, but I don't think you have to be the life of the party to make it as an associate, because you are doing work for the partners, and not their =. Likability is more of a big deal between =s. I don't know if this is a relevant analogy, but would you care how much you "like" your kid's babysitter. You obviously don't want to hate the person, but at the end of the day you're going to choose the girl you trust to watch your kid.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 8:03 pm

Stanislaw Carter wrote:
I guess that I have heard that, in addition to your work product, if you are liked (not just not disliked)/socializing with people from the firm is important in getting an offer/progressing well at a firm. Maybe that isn't as important as it was made to seem to me.
If you do good work, and a lot of it, you'l be fine. The "likability" part enters the equation in terms of rainmaking, and lack of rainmaking ability can limit your chances at partnership. Outside of that, your likability also determines who your allies will be when you're actually up for partnership. Therefore, in terms of advancement, likability is really only hugely important for partnership (in my opinion). If you don't plan on staying at the firm, then this is a moot point.

Yeah, I kinda just wanna stay at a firm and make partner (one of the rare ones). At least I have time to work on it.

I've always been good as a manager (I was a research director at a science company for about 3 years before law school), and actually enjoy communication with the world outside the companies (forging collaborations, etc.) and managing people (I am not a micro-manager, seemed generally well-liked by the engineers below me, and my opinions on research?business directions were respected by those above me). So it seems like I could potentially like being a partner for reasons outside of moniez. But communication with scientists/engineers is bound to be a bit different than attorneys. Sigh.

And yeah, I just need to chill out. Thanks guys.

turbotong · Post by **turbotong** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 10:09 pm

What games do u play?
hit me up for sc2, portal2, dota, lol, cod456....

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 10:17 pm

turbotong wrote:What games do u play?
hit me up for sc2, portal2, dota, lol, cod456....

mostly an rts kinda girl, but recently addicted to left 4 dead. <3 zombie anything. love portal, but haven't played portal2. is the cake still a lie?

actually awkwardly talked about age of empires at an interview lunch. surprisingly, still got an offer.

Veyron · Post by **Veyron** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 10:23 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
turbotong wrote:What games do u play?
hit me up for sc2, portal2, dota, lol, cod456....
mostly an rts kinda girl, but recently addicted to left 4 dead. <3 zombie anything. love portal, but haven't played portal2. is the cake still a lie?

actually awkwardly talked about age of empires at an interview lunch. surprisingly, still got an offer.

No wonder you got an offer. Cute girl who can talk age of empires, tech firm, you'll be running the place within a year.

Stanislaw Carter · Post by **Stanislaw Carter** » Sat Apr 30, 2011 10:29 pm

actually awkwardly talked about age of empires at an interview lunch. surprisingly, still got an offer.

I think that the fact that you got an offer despite doing this is a pretty strong argument for your firm being a good fit. Congratulations.

Kohinoor · Post by **Kohinoor** » Sun May 01, 2011 2:50 am

Stanislaw Carter wrote:
actually awkwardly talked about age of empires at an interview lunch. surprisingly, still got an offer.
I think that the fact that you got an offer despite doing this is a pretty strong argument for your firm being a good fit. Congratulations.

Despite?

Veyron · Post by **Veyron** » Sun May 01, 2011 2:56 am

Kohinoor wrote:
Stanislaw Carter wrote:
actually awkwardly talked about age of empires at an interview lunch. surprisingly, still got an offer.
I think that the fact that you got an offer despite doing this is a pretty strong argument for your firm being a good fit. Congratulations.
Despite?

I know, wtf? I think that was the moment the hiring decision was made brah.

Stanislaw Carter · Post by **Stanislaw Carter** » Sun May 01, 2011 6:52 am

Kohinoor wrote:
Stanislaw Carter wrote:
actually awkwardly talked about age of empires at an interview lunch. surprisingly, still got an offer.
I think that the fact that you got an offer despite doing this is a pretty strong argument for your firm being a good fit. Congratulations.
Despite?

Didn't that negatively. Couldn't think of a better word.

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