Drinking and SA job

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paratactical
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby paratactical » Thu Oct 28, 2010 10:24 am

Blindmelon wrote:Most of all, just be honest about it. When everyone is ordering drinks just say you're not into it and move on. No long explanation necessary - that'll make things weird. Generally, no one cares.


I agree with everything in your post expect this. When people order drinks and you don't want one, just say "Eh... not right now."

Since OP isn't a total teetotaler, people will just think OP has important shit to do and is responsible, especially if the OP doesn't over-elaborate and can still be reasonably sociable (which it sounds like OP can).

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nealric
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby nealric » Thu Oct 28, 2010 10:48 am

It's rarely an issue.

If you have a religious objection, people will leave you alone no-questions asked.
If you just don't drink, they might ask a few questions out of curiosity, but they won't bother you. Just drink club soda or something if you are worried- people usually can't tell that it's not a mixed drink.

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crazycanuck
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby crazycanuck » Thu Oct 28, 2010 1:15 pm

It will not be a problem.

Order a sprite and people will assume it is a gin and tonic. Let them think what they want.

Don't order a sprite and say "oooh yeah this is only sprite because I don't drink alcohol".

No one will care.

Anonymous User
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Oct 28, 2010 1:59 pm

Lots of decent advice in this thread I think. I would add though that you have to consider that after-work drinks or what have you aren't just about drinking (in fact, for most, that's really not it at all). It's not really about networking or "building your brand" either, though you can accomplish that. I think it's more about getting to know the people you're working with and making them comfortable with you.

Though it's not work, I like to use the example of rec sports leagues. Where I live, it's common for people in their 20s / 30s to play rec sports in the summer and winter. It's also usually traditional for teams to go to bars after games (usually bars sponsor teams and provide shirts and the like, so in some sense it is obligatory). It's been my experience with this, that unless you have a really good reason, it's in your best interest to go, at least the first few times. Why? Because it helps you bond with the group. The people who don't go, quickly become outsiders just because the others on the team lack those types of fun memories of them / talking with them after the game is over.

Work can be the same way. The people you work with are in some sense like a team, and by socializing with them at least at the start you help them get to know you and like you. Two things that are valuable.

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MrKappus
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby MrKappus » Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:01 pm

Blindmelon wrote:3). Shots are tricky (I've had a senior manager buy a round of shots - I'm not against it, just didn't want to be hammered in front of the boss, I have no tolerance). So I just pretended to take it, and dumped it out when no one looked.


There are no words...

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Kohinoor
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby Kohinoor » Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:05 pm

crazycanuck wrote:It will not be a problem.

Order a sprite and people will assume it is a gin and tonic. Let them think what they want.

Don't order a sprite and say "oooh yeah this is only sprite because I don't drink alcohol".

No one will care.

The problem with people who don't drink is the ones that don't drink conspicuously. Ordering a beer and nursing it or keeping a coke and coke in your hand or even politely demurring is worlds apart from being the "don't tread on me" guy.

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Blindmelon
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby Blindmelon » Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:16 pm

MrKappus wrote:
Blindmelon wrote:3). Shots are tricky (I've had a senior manager buy a round of shots - I'm not against it, just didn't want to be hammered in front of the boss, I have no tolerance). So I just pretended to take it, and dumped it out when no one looked.


There are no words...


For people who get drunk at work-related social outings? Yea, total tools. Don't think people let things you say go because you're drunk. I worked a few years before LS and everyone knew who the drunken idiots were. They didn't do so well at review time.

Aqualibrium
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby Aqualibrium » Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:18 pm

It's really not a big deal. Drink your one drink then get a tonic or club soda. I'm not a huge drinker generally, so when I went out with attorneys during the summer I just drank one or two drinks then relaxed. People can understand not drinking a lot. What they can't understand is not drinking at all.

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MrKappus
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby MrKappus » Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:20 pm

Blindmelon wrote:
MrKappus wrote:
Blindmelon wrote:3). Shots are tricky (I've had a senior manager buy a round of shots - I'm not against it, just didn't want to be hammered in front of the boss, I have no tolerance). So I just pretended to take it, and dumped it out when no one looked.


There are no words...


For people who get drunk at work-related social outings? Yea, total tools. Don't think people let things you say go because you're drunk. I worked a few years before LS and everyone knew who the drunken idiots were. They didn't do so well at review time.


I had more than a couple years of WE prior to law school. I'm not saying "Get trashed at after-work events." I'm saying throwing a shot in a potted plant (or whatever you did w/ it) when senior mgr buys it for you says more about you than anything I could. Don't think people don't notice when people are anti-social misfits. Everyone knows who they are, and they don't do too well at review time.

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Kohinoor
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby Kohinoor » Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:23 pm

Blindmelon wrote:
MrKappus wrote:
Blindmelon wrote:3). Shots are tricky (I've had a senior manager buy a round of shots - I'm not against it, just didn't want to be hammered in front of the boss, I have no tolerance). So I just pretended to take it, and dumped it out when no one looked.


There are no words...


For people who get drunk at work-related social outings? Yea, total tools. Don't think people let things you say go because you're drunk. I worked a few years before LS and everyone knew who the drunken idiots were. They didn't do so well at review time.

My firm was the after-party, after-after-party type of place and drunken idiocy was considered fine.

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paratactical
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby paratactical » Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:25 pm

Kohinoor wrote:My firm was the after-party, after-after-party type of place and drunken idiocy was considered fine.

My NYC firm was the same way, at least in the lit department.

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Blindmelon
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby Blindmelon » Thu Oct 28, 2010 3:56 pm

paratactical wrote:
Kohinoor wrote:My firm was the after-party, after-after-party type of place and drunken idiocy was considered fine.

My NYC firm was the same way, at least in the lit department.


DC consulting scene seems much more uppity I guess. Depends on the market. No one I knew would have more than a drink or two. Even then, people noticed. Another reason why DC sucks.

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Blindmelon
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby Blindmelon » Thu Oct 28, 2010 3:59 pm

MrKappus wrote:
Blindmelon wrote:
MrKappus wrote:
Blindmelon wrote:3). Shots are tricky (I've had a senior manager buy a round of shots - I'm not against it, just didn't want to be hammered in front of the boss, I have no tolerance). So I just pretended to take it, and dumped it out when no one looked.


There are no words...


For people who get drunk at work-related social outings? Yea, total tools. Don't think people let things you say go because you're drunk. I worked a few years before LS and everyone knew who the drunken idiots were. They didn't do so well at review time.


I had more than a couple years of WE prior to law school. I'm not saying "Get trashed at after-work events." I'm saying throwing a shot in a potted plant (or whatever you did w/ it) when senior mgr buys it for you says more about you than anything I could. Don't think people don't notice when people are anti-social misfits. Everyone knows who they are, and they don't do too well at review time.


The more you post, the more I think you're a highschooler just trolling the forum for kicks. Drinking doesn't = social skills or social life. In your high school maybe, but once you graduate high school and get out of college (good luck applying!!) you'll notice people couldn't care less about drinking or whatever.

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MrKappus
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby MrKappus » Thu Oct 28, 2010 4:34 pm

Blindmelon wrote:The more you post, the more I think you're a highschooler just trolling the forum for kicks. Drinking doesn't = social skills or social life. In your high school maybe, but once you graduate high school and get out of college (good luck applying!!) you'll notice people couldn't care less about drinking or whatever.


If you need to offset your inaccurate notions about how the world works by constructing some fantasy about me being a high schooler, knock yourself out.

Edit: also, you continually to mischaracterize what I say, then argue against those mischaracterizations. I said "Go out to firm events at bars." You hear "Get wasted w/ coworkers!" I say "Don't do antisocial shit like throw away drinks your mgrs buy for you." You hear "Alcohol equals social life!" Learn how to read if you're going to respond to my posts. Or don't respond. I'd prefer that.

Alyosha
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby Alyosha » Thu Oct 28, 2010 4:54 pm

MrKappus wrote:
Blindmelon wrote:The more you post, the more I think you're a highschooler just trolling the forum for kicks. Drinking doesn't = social skills or social life. In your high school maybe, but once you graduate high school and get out of college (good luck applying!!) you'll notice people couldn't care less about drinking or whatever.


If you need to offset your inaccurate notions about how the world works by constructing some fantasy about me being a high schooler, knock yourself out.

Edit: also, you continually to mischaracterize what I say, then argue against those mischaracterizations. I said "Go out to firm events at bars." You hear "Get wasted w/ coworkers!" I say "Don't do antisocial shit like throw away drinks your mgrs buy for you." You hear "Alcohol equals social life!" Learn how to read if you're going to respond to my posts. Or don't respond. I'd prefer that.


I hope the three of us are at the same firm this summer.

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20160810
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby 20160810 » Thu Oct 28, 2010 4:55 pm

Blindmelon wrote:You'll be in a much, much better position than people who will go get hammered after work with partners (not a good move).

I don't drink much (1 here or there) and I've developed some tricks for these types of situations where people don't really know you.

1). Order your own drinks. Tonic with a twist of lime is the best way to go and bartenders always know what you're trying to do.
2). If someone orders you a drink, just sip on it the whole night, just carrying it around is enough to look like you've been drinking like crazy.
3). Shots are tricky (I've had a senior manager buy a round of shots - I'm not against it, just didn't want to be hammered in front of the boss, I have no tolerance). So I just pretended to take it, and dumped it out when no one looked.

Most of all, just be honest about it. When everyone is ordering drinks just say you're not into it and move on. No long explanation necessary - that'll make things weird. Generally, no one cares.

This is pretty much the best advice in the thread, with the exception of #3. If the partner who just bought you a $10 shot of Patron sees you dump it on the floor, he's going to think you're weird at best, and rude at worst. Shots are INCREDIBLY EASY to avoid doing, because almost nobody actually likes doing shots. They're fucking disgusting. Just say "No thanks, I don't do shots." If they needle you about it (which seems unlikely), give them a sickened-looking thousand-yard stare and say "I'm serious... I think I'll heave if I do a shot right now." This implies you've already been partying quite enough, thankyouverymuch.

In all honesty though, not drinking is FAR, FAR, FAR LESS likely to get you into trouble than overdrinking. You never want to be "the drunk guy" in the group when going out with work people. Err on the side of being too sober every single time. I heard a story of a guy who blew his offer on the very last day of summer, because he got blacked out at the firm's end-of-summer party, hit on a partner's wife (the term "cougar" was reportedly thrown about) and puked on said partner's shoes shortly thereafter.

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Kohinoor
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby Kohinoor » Thu Oct 28, 2010 5:05 pm

SBL wrote:
Blindmelon wrote:You'll be in a much, much better position than people who will go get hammered after work with partners (not a good move).

I don't drink much (1 here or there) and I've developed some tricks for these types of situations where people don't really know you.

1). Order your own drinks. Tonic with a twist of lime is the best way to go and bartenders always know what you're trying to do.
2). If someone orders you a drink, just sip on it the whole night, just carrying it around is enough to look like you've been drinking like crazy.
3). Shots are tricky (I've had a senior manager buy a round of shots - I'm not against it, just didn't want to be hammered in front of the boss, I have no tolerance). So I just pretended to take it, and dumped it out when no one looked.

Most of all, just be honest about it. When everyone is ordering drinks just say you're not into it and move on. No long explanation necessary - that'll make things weird. Generally, no one cares.

This is pretty much the best advice in the thread, with the exception of #3. If the partner who just bought you a $10 shot of Patron sees you dump it on the floor, he's going to think you're weird at best, and rude at worst. Shots are INCREDIBLY EASY to avoid doing, because almost nobody actually likes doing shots. They're fucking disgusting. Just say "No thanks, I don't do shots." If they needle you about it (which seems unlikely), give them a sickened-looking thousand-yard stare and say "I'm serious... I think I'll heave if I do a shot right now." This implies you've already been partying quite enough, thankyouverymuch.

In all honesty though, not drinking is FAR, FAR, FAR LESS likely to get you into trouble than overdrinking. You never want to be "the drunk guy" in the group when going out with work people. Err on the side of being too sober every single time. I heard a story of a guy who blew his offer on the very last day of summer, because he got blacked out at the firm's end-of-summer party, hit on a partner's wife (the term "cougar" was reportedly thrown about) and puked on said partner's shoes shortly thereafter.

Drinking very little to nothing is definitely possible and probably a good idea, but the drink spilling is still terrible, bizarre advice.

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Blindmelon
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby Blindmelon » Thu Oct 28, 2010 5:37 pm

Er... I didn't mean dump it on the floor. Senior manager in my old firm (weird guy) bought a round of shots, and I just popped it into my empty water cup. No harm, no foul. Dumping it on the floor would be hilarious though - not advised.

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Blindmelon
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby Blindmelon » Thu Oct 28, 2010 5:40 pm

MrKappus wrote:
Blindmelon wrote:The more you post, the more I think you're a highschooler just trolling the forum for kicks. Drinking doesn't = social skills or social life. In your high school maybe, but once you graduate high school and get out of college (good luck applying!!) you'll notice people couldn't care less about drinking or whatever.


If you need to offset your inaccurate notions about how the world works by constructing some fantasy about me being a high schooler, knock yourself out.

Edit: also, you continually to mischaracterize what I say, then argue against those mischaracterizations. I said "Go out to firm events at bars." You hear "Get wasted w/ coworkers!" I say "Don't do antisocial shit like throw away drinks your mgrs buy for you." You hear "Alcohol equals social life!" Learn how to read if you're going to respond to my posts. Or don't respond. I'd prefer that.


Noted - last one here. You're a bit caustic for my taste anyway.

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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Oct 28, 2010 5:44 pm

Blindmelon wrote:
paratactical wrote:
Kohinoor wrote:My firm was the after-party, after-after-party type of place and drunken idiocy was considered fine.

My NYC firm was the same way, at least in the lit department.


DC consulting scene seems much more uppity I guess. Depends on the market. No one I knew would have more than a drink or two. Even then, people noticed. Another reason why DC sucks.


Which firms were these? First two sound like my worst nightmare. Last one sounds a little too much in the other direction, but more tolerable.

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Kohinoor
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby Kohinoor » Thu Oct 28, 2010 6:03 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Blindmelon wrote:
paratactical wrote:
Kohinoor wrote:My firm was the after-party, after-after-party type of place and drunken idiocy was considered fine.

My NYC firm was the same way, at least in the lit department.


DC consulting scene seems much more uppity I guess. Depends on the market. No one I knew would have more than a drink or two. Even then, people noticed. Another reason why DC sucks.


Which firms were these? First two sound like my worst nightmare. Last one sounds a little too much in the other direction, but more tolerable.

Hm. Now that I think about it, quite a few rainmakers made it to the after parties so that was probably not the firm for teetotalers.

lakerfanimal
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby lakerfanimal » Thu Oct 28, 2010 6:15 pm

Just say you're taking it easy tonight or whatever else. Just be casual about it like others say.

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paratactical
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Re: Drinking and SA job

Postby paratactical » Thu Oct 28, 2010 6:17 pm

Anon - if you want to PM me, I can let you know about the drunk NYC firm. I don't want to post it publicly.




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