Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

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Anonymous User
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Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Oct 11, 2010 9:25 pm

Are they generally invited to a few events? Do summer associates include family members or significant others? Is it a good idea to bring them along if invited?

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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby LurkerNoMore » Tue Oct 12, 2010 7:33 am

The firm will let you know which events SOs are invited to. As to whether or not to bring them along, the nature of your relationship should determine that. A spouse/fiance should definitely go if they are available. The +1 events are generally ones where the partners or associates will be bringing their spouses. It's not a huge deal if yours can't go, but if they know you are married/engaged then they will probably ask why your SO isn't there. Generally speaking, the reason for the +1 events is an acknowledgement that the person you bring is going to have something to say about whether or not you accept an offer or not.

If there are SO optional events where it's just for SAs (or maybe some associates), there is a lot less pressure for you to bring your SO -- those are often just courtesy invites. It's the more formal events that I would make an effort for.

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nealric
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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby nealric » Tue Oct 12, 2010 10:34 am

I suggest avoiding pork and shellfish.

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underdawg
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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby underdawg » Tue Oct 12, 2010 11:36 am

really? i don't think anyone cares if you bring your spouse. if you bring him/her, they will chit chat with him/her for a while but i don't think anyone actually cares. why would they?

and no, don't bring your mom lol. it's so/spouse/fiance or nothing

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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Oct 12, 2010 12:23 pm

What if so/fincee is also a law student? What if they like him/her more than they do me? :(

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IzziesGal
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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby IzziesGal » Tue Oct 12, 2010 7:26 pm

Anonymous User wrote:What if so/fincee is also a law student? What if they like him/her more than they do me? :(


I don't see why this matters at all....you're the one with the SA offer working on the permanent offer, not your SO.

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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Oct 12, 2010 8:55 pm

How long must one date for it to be acceptable to bring to a firm event? I realize this is an odd question but I imagine a summer class where several are married. I would feel akward bringing a girlfriend of even a year when the rest are more committed.

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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby Anonymous Loser » Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:18 pm

Anonymous User wrote:How long must one date for it to be acceptable to bring to a firm event? I realize this is an odd question but I imagine a summer class where several are married. I would feel akward bringing a girlfriend of even a year when the rest are more committed.


Although the NALP guidelines indicate that a consensual, mutually recognized romantic relationship must be in existence for no less than 75 days before a significant other's attendance at firm social events is appropriate, many firms have shown a willingness to overlook this guideline in recent years. Some commentators suspect that this is the result of many large firms reducing the number and quality of the social events offered for summer associates due to economic concerns.

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underdawg
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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby underdawg » Tue Oct 12, 2010 10:16 pm

Anonymous User wrote:How long must one date for it to be acceptable to bring to a firm event? I realize this is an odd question but I imagine a summer class where several are married. I would feel akward bringing a girlfriend of even a year when the rest are more committed.

as long as you're not like, i just met this chick last night, no one will give a shit. your personal life is remarkably low on other people's priority lists

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IzziesGal
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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby IzziesGal » Tue Oct 12, 2010 11:39 pm

Just for the love of god, do not be rude to the staff who are working your event. I made the mistake of volunteering to work at a summer event at my old V15 firm before law school, and wow, were some of those SAs and guests rude.

My favorite story from the event: hurricane force winds decided to roll through the party along with heavy rains. Myself and others were desperately trying to tie down the ends of the tents, run after chairs that were blowing over, blow out candles, and shew the guests all inside to the main house. After about an hour of this craziness, we finally got everything under control and went inside to get some food. Most of the SAs and guests had already been served and were working on second helpings. A SA's WIFE disliked the fact that we were on the food line in front of her, and made a scene. She said something like "my husband is going to be a lawyer here. The "help" should not be eating before me." And she said it with the snottiest tone ever. She kicked us off the food line, and in the interest of not making a bigger scene at the event, we backed down. I guess she thought we were country club employees and not firm employees. Our manager told the partners, but I have no idea what the consequences were. I know he didn't end up working there, but I don't know if it was his choice or the firm's.

Bottom line - don't be a douche. To ANYONE. And make sure your guest has good manners, whoever it is. This should be common sense, but crazy things happen when a bunch of 20 somethings start getting wined and dined and treated like royalty....

ToTransferOrNot
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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby ToTransferOrNot » Wed Oct 13, 2010 12:52 am

IzziesGal wrote:Just for the love of god, do not be rude to the staff who are working your event. I made the mistake of volunteering to work at a summer event at my old V15 firm before law school, and wow, were some of those SAs and guests rude.

My favorite story from the event: hurricane force winds decided to roll through the party along with heavy rains. Myself and others were desperately trying to tie down the ends of the tents, run after chairs that were blowing over, blow out candles, and shew the guests all inside to the main house. After about an hour of this craziness, we finally got everything under control and went inside to get some food. Most of the SAs and guests had already been served and were working on second helpings. A SA's WIFE disliked the fact that we were on the food line in front of her, and made a scene. She said something like "my husband is going to be a lawyer here. The "help" should not be eating before me." And she said it with the snottiest tone ever. She kicked us off the food line, and in the interest of not making a bigger scene at the event, we backed down. I guess she thought we were country club employees and not firm employees. Our manager told the partners, but I have no idea what the consequences were. I know he didn't end up working there, but I don't know if it was his choice or the firm's.

Bottom line - don't be a douche. To ANYONE. And make sure your guest has good manners, whoever it is. This should be common sense, but crazy things happen when a bunch of 20 somethings start getting wined and dined and treated like royalty....


Instant divorce.

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underdawg
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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby underdawg » Wed Oct 13, 2010 1:02 am

man sux for the SA if he got no-offered because his wife was a bitch tho.

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romothesavior
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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby romothesavior » Wed Oct 13, 2010 1:13 am

Introducing an SO to the firm = instant no-offer. You can't show them that you have any romantic interests... or any interests outside of work, for that matter.

ToTransferOrNot
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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby ToTransferOrNot » Wed Oct 13, 2010 1:29 am

underdawg wrote:man sux for the SA if he got no-offered because his wife was a bitch tho.


Shows incredibly poor judgment. Pick better arm candy, future models and bottles strivers.

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Big Shrimpin
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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby Big Shrimpin » Wed Oct 13, 2010 8:19 am

romothesavior wrote:Introducing an SO to the firm = instant no-offer. You can't show them that you have any romantic interests... or any interests outside of work, for that matter.



TCR

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dood
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Re: Whats kosher for a spouse/fiance/so during SA social events?

Postby dood » Wed Oct 13, 2010 9:08 am

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Last edited by dood on Sun Oct 24, 2010 4:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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