Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

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Breach of protocol?

Yes even in a good economy
16
24%
Yes, ITE
25
37%
Nobody cares. Put on your big girl panties.
13
19%
No, its good to freely share info.
14
21%
 
Total votes: 68

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Kohinoor
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Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby Kohinoor » Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:26 pm

Out of curiosity, do people feel that, ITE, it is rude to openly discuss your screening/callback/offer status if not asked directly? Rude to ask another?

Jessep
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby Jessep » Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:32 pm

There's really no need to discuss it unless it's with a good friend with whom you regularly discuss sensitive topics. Otherwise, it will look like you are a tool who is bragging. If you know someone has an interview with a firm or has a callback, it is okay to ask them how it went or wish them luck. Otherwise, I think it's generally poor form to breach the subject.

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dresden doll
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby dresden doll » Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:36 pm

My classmates have been discussing CBs quite a bit. None of it has come off as pretentious or douchey, however. We all feel we're in the same boat to a large extent and some relieve anxieties by sharing their situation with others. ::shrugs shoulders::

Jessep
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby Jessep » Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:38 pm

If you go to a school where almost everyone is receiving callbacks, offers, etc. then I think it's different. I should have qualified my statement.

pehaigllleises
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby pehaigllleises » Mon Sep 06, 2010 6:01 pm

I like knowing what others are up to and more information helps me adjust my plans accordingly (freak out now, freak out later, feel good, or hurriedly apply more).

It's not really a direct competition, like a friend taking the same exam as you, to see how who can tally up the most callbacks. People are interviewing with different firms, at different levels, for different practice areas, in different cities, and have put more or less effort into open sign up or showing up early to express interest and to try to get on the schedule. And it's significantly dependent on fit and soft factors other than grades, which are things I find really hard to get competitive about.

Anonymous User
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Sep 06, 2010 6:37 pm

someone on my gchat blocklist had an annoying habit of LISTING HIS CALLBACKS ON HIS GCHAT STATUS.. jerk.

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rayiner
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby rayiner » Mon Sep 06, 2010 6:41 pm

Anonymous User wrote:someone on my gchat blocklist had an annoying habit of LISTING HIS CALLBACKS ON HIS GCHAT STATUS.. jerk.


If he was actually baller he'd have too many callbacks to comfortably list on his gchat status.

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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Sep 06, 2010 6:50 pm

I see nothing wrong with sharing the information with friends - shouldn't they be happy for you? Especially so when it's not a direct competition?

If you're seriously butthurt over hearing from your friend that he/she got a callback...then, as xoxo would say, "sorry about your tiny pink (lack of a) callback, bro."

FWIW I'll much sooner share my # of callbacks/offers than share my GPA.
Last edited by Anonymous User on Mon Sep 06, 2010 7:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Kohinoor
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby Kohinoor » Mon Sep 06, 2010 7:10 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I see nothing wrong with sharing the information with friends - shouldn't they be happy for you? Especially so when it's not a direct competition?

If you're seriously butthurt over hearing from your friend that he/she got a callback...then, as xoxo would say, "sorry about your tiny pick (lack of a) callback, bro."

FWIW I'll much sooner share my # of callbacks/offers than share my GPA.

It's not a direct competition, but you're ignoring human nature if you think that someone worrying about their own stuff is overjoyed to hear that you're up to 9 callbacks. MAYYBE if you're besties.

bigben
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby bigben » Mon Sep 06, 2010 7:32 pm

Depends?

270910
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby 270910 » Mon Sep 06, 2010 7:37 pm

Certainly it depends. The more time since OCI has passed, the more acceptable, but the people who would ask directly or schedule CBs in public lacked all social graces. Eventually "what are you doing this summer" won't be a loaded question - but the interviews/CBs/offers pissing contest is juvenile and obnoxious.

It's a fine line between being friends and being competitors, and just not talking about it except in controlled circumstances with friends similarly poised is the best bet.

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dresden doll
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby dresden doll » Mon Sep 06, 2010 7:43 pm

rayiner wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:someone on my gchat blocklist had an annoying habit of LISTING HIS CALLBACKS ON HIS GCHAT STATUS.. jerk.


If he was actually baller he'd have too many callbacks to comfortably list on his gchat status.


<3

Lawrence
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby Lawrence » Mon Sep 06, 2010 7:47 pm

I understand completely that rubbing your success in the faces of those who aren't doing as well is a bad move, and accordingly I don't do it or even bring it up. But, if someone asks me how things are going or if I heard back from XYZ firm I'm not going to lie. At least at my school people can have a pretty good idea of who is doing well for themselves. If some people get mad or jealous because I'm doing well for myself, well then those aren't the kind of people whose opinion I care that much about anyway.

09042014
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby 09042014 » Mon Sep 06, 2010 8:33 pm

Pro-tip: Don't ask people about OCI at bar review.

Anonymous User
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Sep 06, 2010 8:36 pm

In my culture, its rude to ask someone what they do for a living, so to put it mildly - I don't talk employment with anyone at school.

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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Sep 06, 2010 9:34 pm

People in my class knew about my first callback because a professor inadvertently announced that I was gone for an interview in class. So yeah, people asked about it when I got back and I told them.

Personal opinion: Bragging is douchey, but being obviously secretive about why you are gone so much is pretty much the same thing.

rynabrius
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby rynabrius » Mon Sep 06, 2010 10:10 pm

I'm generally glad to hear about the success of others. I even appreciate braggarts, because they are often looser with information than their more punctilious peers. Perhaps it would help to take a few steps back from the question, though, and note that asking for etiquette advice online might be a doomed enterprise from jump.

Anonymous User
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Sep 06, 2010 10:22 pm

I don't talk to people about how I'm doing unless I know they have at least 3 or 4 callbacks. Many people at T10 schools won't even get a single callback, let alone an offer, so bringing up the subject is a bad idea. I don't think I'll ever ask people what their summer plans are.

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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Sep 06, 2010 10:25 pm

Probably not a good idea unless someone asks, no matter which school you're at.

Also, probably poor form to say something like, "Man, OCI is exhausting." and then sort of force the issue in conversation to where it'd be rude or awkward for the other person to NOT ask you how it's going.

Anonymous User
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Sep 06, 2010 11:24 pm

Asking someone if they have callbacks when you don't know them that well is really, really rude.

Anonymous User
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Sep 06, 2010 11:26 pm

dresden doll wrote:My classmates have been discussing CBs quite a bit. None of it has come off as pretentious or douchey, however. We all feel we're in the same boat to a large extent and some relieve anxieties by sharing their situation with others. ::shrugs shoulders::


Your "we" sounds a lot like "I like to talk about my situation."

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OperaSoprano
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby OperaSoprano » Mon Sep 06, 2010 11:31 pm

It would be exceedingly poor form at my school, even if I knew the person was on LR. Talk of OCI exacerbates differences in rank, and I know my classmates would prefer to talk about other things. When I need advice, I go to my friends at other schools. I've been lucky enough to meet some amazing people, and if successful, I won't be a threat to them. If I fail, the details won't be gossip central back at home. I only hope I can be as supportive in return. A fair number of people have shared OCI results with me, and I am honored by their confidence. It doesn't feel quite the same as having this conversation on my own campus would be.

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OperaSoprano
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby OperaSoprano » Mon Sep 06, 2010 11:33 pm

Anonymous User wrote:Asking someone if they have callbacks when you don't know them that well is really, really rude.


This is probably the bit of wisdom we all can agree on.

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dresden doll
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Re: Etiquette re discussing callbacks/offers

Postby dresden doll » Mon Sep 06, 2010 11:38 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
dresden doll wrote:My classmates have been discussing CBs quite a bit. None of it has come off as pretentious or douchey, however. We all feel we're in the same boat to a large extent and some relieve anxieties by sharing their situation with others. ::shrugs shoulders::


Your "we" sounds a lot like "I like to talk about my situation."


And your interpretation sounds a lot like an attempt at a jab. A misplaced jab, in this case. I never initiate the 'how many firms have you heard from' convo, and neither does, for that matter, anyone else. Every single time we've discussed our respective situations the conversation has started with 'this OCI is going kinda badly, don't you think?'

Additionally, I don't enjoy talking about my situation because it never makes me feel good about myself, particularly by comparison.

As an aside, you should probably avoid using anon feature next time you feel like snarking. It's not like your post revealed any valuable/sensitive employment info that deserved hitting the anon button.




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