What I really learned at work this summer...

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Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

What I really learned at work this summer...

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:08 pm

How to become a "great" plaintiff's (appellate) attorney

Step 1- Become a terrible writer.
Step 2- Completely ignore what is in the appellee's brief, and just write about what you want to write about.
Step 3- Be a complete idiot and ignore the law part of the analysis on appeal, and try the emotive approach. Maybe if you can strike a nerve in a judge, like you can with a jury, the judge might be completely oblivious to the fact that your case is complete crap.
Step 3.5- Definitely don't cite to cases in your brief, unless they are from the 1800s, because reading cases from the last 110 years is for schmucks.
Step 4- Don't bother to proofread your brief because if you submit it with more errors your odds of winning your case increase.
Step 5- ???
Step 6- Profit.

06072010
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Joined: Sat Sep 30, 2006 2:30 pm

Re: What I really learned at work this summer...

Postby 06072010 » Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:11 pm

I like where this thread is going. Anonymous posting APPROVED.

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romothesavior
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Re: What I really learned at work this summer...

Postby romothesavior » Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:12 pm

I was came into this thread planning to be like, "A summer reflection already? It's June 1st..." Instead, I read this priceless gem. Well done sir.

Hey-O
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Re: What I really learned at work this summer...

Postby Hey-O » Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:14 pm

Any business plan that involves:

1.) Nonsense
2.) ????
3.) Profit

is certain to provide enjoyable summer employment.

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chicoalto0649
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Re: What I really learned at work this summer...

Postby chicoalto0649 » Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:16 pm

--ImageRemoved--

rando
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Re: What I really learned at work this summer...

Postby rando » Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:26 pm

Anonymous User wrote:How to become a "great" plaintiff's (appellate) attorney

Step 2- Completely ignore what is in the appellee's brief, and just write about what you want to write about.


appellant doesn't write to appellee's brief. Other way around.

As to your other points. Spot on. It's a sad state of the legal world but at least makes you feel better about your ability to be a lawyer.

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lilybbloom
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Re: What I really learned at work this summer...

Postby lilybbloom » Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:30 pm

rando wrote:appellant doesn't write to appellee's brief. Other way around.


reply brief

rando
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Re: What I really learned at work this summer...

Postby rando » Wed Jun 02, 2010 4:34 pm

lilybbloom wrote:
rando wrote:appellant doesn't write to appellee's brief. Other way around.


reply brief



Not to generalize, but typically the terrible lawyers dont write reply briefs and a lot of courts look down on them.

clseller
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Re: What I really learned at work this summer...

Postby clseller » Wed Jun 02, 2010 4:41 pm

(In a Mike [deleted] voice) I can see there is no pleasing you Mr Rando :wink:

06072010
Posts: 1468
Joined: Sat Sep 30, 2006 2:30 pm

Re: What I really learned at work this summer...

Postby 06072010 » Wed Jun 02, 2010 4:45 pm

my favorite quote from goldmember




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