What I really learned at work this summer...

[Anonymous User]

How to become a "great" plaintiff's (appellate) attorney

Step 1- Become a terrible writer.
Step 2- Completely ignore what is in the appellee's brief, and just write about what you want to write about.
Step 3- Be a complete idiot and ignore the law part of the analysis on appeal, and try the emotive approach. Maybe if you can strike a nerve in a judge, like you can with a jury, the judge might be completely oblivious to the fact that your case is complete crap.
Step 3.5- Definitely don't cite to cases in your brief, unless they are from the 1800s, because reading cases from the last 110 years is for schmucks.
Step 4- Don't bother to proofread your brief because if you submit it with more errors your odds of winning your case increase.
Step 5- ???
Step 6- Profit.

[06072010]

I like where this thread is going. Anonymous posting APPROVED.

[romothesavior]

I was came into this thread planning to be like, "A summer reflection already? It's June 1st..." Instead, I read this priceless gem. Well done sir.

[Hey-O]

Any business plan that involves:

1.) Nonsense
2.) ????
3.) Profit

is certain to provide enjoyable summer employment.

[chicoalto0649]

--ImageRemoved--

[rando]

How to become a "great" plaintiff's (appellate) attorney

Step 2- Completely ignore what is in the appellee's brief, and just write about what you want to write about.

appellant doesn't write to appellee's brief. Other way around.

As to your other points. Spot on. It's a sad state of the legal world but at least makes you feel better about your ability to be a lawyer.

[lilybbloom]

appellant doesn't write to appellee's brief. Other way around.

reply brief

[rando]

appellant doesn't write to appellee's brief. Other way around.

reply brief

Not to generalize, but typically the terrible lawyers dont write reply briefs and a lot of courts look down on them.

[clseller]

(In a Mike Myers voice) I can see there is no pleasing you Mr Rando

[06072010]

my favorite quote from goldmember