ToTransferOrNot wrote: Drew2010 wrote:
UnbornWidow wrote:factors that are BEYOND THE CONTROL of that law school grad. Factors like circumstances--how attractive and personable that grad is. How they look in a suit.
To a certain extent I think it is just plain laziness to say that those things are beyond a person’s control. 99% of the population can probably become attractive enough with a little effort that it won't prohibit them from being successful, or even be much of a hindrance to being successful. The same would go for how they look in a suit, or how personable they are. People can choose to take their fat ass to the gym, just like they can choose to behave however the hell they want.
In fairness, waking up one morning and deciding not to be shy/reserved is a nearly impossible task. Also, you can go to the gym all you want, but if you are unlucky enough to have croocked teeth (and can't pay for adult orthodoncy--something which is incredibly expensive, a topic I unfortunately have first-hand knowledge about), or a bad back that forces you in to a slouch, you can't simply out-will those things.
Being a really overwight person who is just a jerk to the people around him/r, on the other hand, is certainly fixable.
I'm sorry but the teeth and back thing are excuses. Some people always choose the excuses that they CAN'T change instead of looking at the problems that they can change.
I have crooked teeth, I am not the best looking person in the world, and I grew up in a very bad household but I still have a great job and I am well respected for the job I do. It's about what you do and fixing the problems that you CAN fix.
Word of advice for everyone: Stop worrying about the problems you CAN'T fix because you can't fix them and start fixing the things you can...
Here is something I started to do a few years back and it has worked for me very well. Anytime you notice something you did wrong, at work or home, write it down in a notebook. Same goes for things you did extremely well. These could be the way you talked to someone, the way you did/didn't introduce yourself to someone, the way you handled a certain situation, a lost opportunity at work, etc etc. Once a week or monthtake some time to yourself and look over the entries in that notebook and analyze them. If you did something well, tell yourself why you did it well and how you could continue to do things like that well. If you did something wrong/bad look to see how you could have made it better or overall improved the situation. And see how you could use this advice you gave to yourself in future situations. If you do this and be an overall positive person your crooked teeth won't matter. If you don't get a job because of your crooked teeth you can walk away from that company knowing that they missed an opportunity, not you!