Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

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Rock of Love
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby Rock of Love » Thu Apr 23, 2009 11:24 am

jessicaw wrote:Berkeley was my first choice, and at the start of this whole process, i was just dreeeaming of Boalt. Then they denied my matching aid request, and I withdrew in favor of full tuition elsewhere.

GO WITH THE $$ !




Since the theme of this thread is on first choice schools versus full ride offers, would it be crazy to choose a full ride option at UT verus Berkeley w/ some grant money? The difference in debt would be over 100K...

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heyyitskatie
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby heyyitskatie » Thu Apr 23, 2009 11:41 am

Why does Berkeley even have an official "matching scholarship" program? If they just continued their same financial aid practices and didn't advertise it like that, they'd give out the same amount of aid and piss a lot less people off.

For the uninitiated, when you get accepted, they really do make it seem like they match COA for *any* T-14 scholarship...so it's easy to see how people get pissed when they find out that it's just a barter system like every other school.

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southernlady
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby southernlady » Thu Apr 23, 2009 11:45 am

heyyitskatie wrote:Why does Berkeley even have an official "matching scholarship" program? If they just continued their same financial aid practices and didn't advertise it like that, they'd give out the same amount of aid and piss a lot less people off.

For the uninitiated, when you get accepted, they really do make it seem like they match COA for *any* T-14 scholarship...so it's easy to see how people get pissed when they find out that it's just a barter system like every other school.

I don't really get it either. Maybe they like to check out the competition before they offer too much? It does make me feel like saying, "Make up your own mind about how much you want me!"

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jacktripper
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby jacktripper » Thu Apr 23, 2009 11:50 am

kurama20 wrote:
kurama20 wrote:
You really shouldn't get attached to school outside of HYS if that's an option.


I disagree with this entirely. There are PLENTY of valid reasons to get attached to the other schools in the T14 (Gtown if one has a strong interest in political work, Chicago if one has hopes of settling there, Berkeley if someone just felt more comfortable there and fell in love with the clinics or something else, etc). Just saying that the other 11 or so schools actually do have something to offer, and happiness does exist beyond HYS.


I meant that you shouldn't get attached to a school outside of HYS when you have another top 14 school with a full scholarship. When you put things into perspective and you start thinking about the power that debt can have over your life it just doesn't make sense to be so attached to one school that you are willing to go into massive debt when you have a peer school that has given you a full scholarship. I'm sorry but the notion that I like NYU because of the "feel" and "style" so I'm going to take it at sticker over a full scholarship at say UVA is borderline ridiculous. A lot of us younger posters have this immature perspective that debt is not that big of a deal and that you should always go with your gut. I hate to say it but for a lot of people under 30 their "gut" doesn't know what the hell it's talking about. That's all I'm trying to say. Not that it's HYS or bust. It's just that those are the only schools worth considering at sticker price when you have a full scholarship at a top 14, and notice I said considering.


+1. Well said.

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babs22pa
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby babs22pa » Thu Apr 23, 2009 11:56 am

I was in a similar situation last year. My first choice was NYU but Berkeley ended up giving me substantial aid and NYU did not match. I was sad for some time, but now that I am actually at Berkeley I am very happy with my decision.

I did not like living in Philly. If I had to choose between Berkeley and Penn, I would probably pay full tuition just so that I could live in the Bay Area for three years. But I am an extreme case. If you like Penn at all, go. Once you start school everything will be really exciting, you'll meet great people... I don't think you will regret your decision. Plus you can always transfer or study out here for a semester.

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IzziesGal
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby IzziesGal » Thu Apr 23, 2009 12:07 pm

kurama20 wrote:
kurama20 wrote:
You really shouldn't get attached to school outside of HYS if that's an option.


I disagree with this entirely. There are PLENTY of valid reasons to get attached to the other schools in the T14 (Gtown if one has a strong interest in political work, Chicago if one has hopes of settling there, Berkeley if someone just felt more comfortable there and fell in love with the clinics or something else, etc). Just saying that the other 11 or so schools actually do have something to offer, and happiness does exist beyond HYS.


I meant that you shouldn't get attached to a school outside of HYS when you have another top 14 school with a full scholarship. When you put things into perspective and you start thinking about the power that debt can have over your life it just doesn't make sense to be so attached to one school that you are willing to go into massive debt when you have a peer school that has given you a full scholarship. I'm sorry but the notion that I like NYU because of the "feel" and "style" so I'm going to take it at sticker over a full scholarship at say UVA is borderline ridiculous. A lot of us younger posters have this immature perspective that debt is not that big of a deal and that you should always go with your gut. I hate to say it but for a lot of people under 30 their "gut" doesn't know what the hell it's talking about. That's all I'm trying to say. Not that it's HYS or bust. It's just that those are the only schools worth considering at sticker price when you have a full scholarship at a top 14, and notice I said considering.


Sorry - I completely misunderstood what you meant!!

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Rotor
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby Rotor » Thu Apr 23, 2009 12:13 pm

OP, I'm sorry you didn't get the $ from Berk, and I'll apologize in advance for the following rant.

Maybe I'm the illegitimate love child of Mr Spock, but why all the emotion over not getting something that isn't a right? This is more directed at those posters ANGRY they didn't get matched or grants moreso than the OP's heart-felt disappointment, but at the end of the day they are both expressions of entitlement to the $ of varying degrees. If you get an offer (like the great offer from Penn, congrats OP!), be thankful. If you don't get $ that wasn't yours to begin with, c'est la vie. It's not like they are charging you more than sticker. Plan for the worst; hope for the best. /rant

That leads me into my spin on the OP's situation. As you can probably imagine, I agree with the theme above of this being a business decision. However, I disagree that the calculus comes down to Penn is free, go there. This works OK in the profit/loss column of a quarterly report, but it doesn't tell the full story.

I see the situation more like buying a car. Audi and VW make similar cars on the same production lines, using the same chassis, same engine, transmission, etc. Both will get the job done (and both substantially better than the TTT used Yugo). The question is, how much are the finer leather seats and cherry-wood inlay worth to you?

If you would be willing to "buy" Berkeley to avoid your disappointment at not going there (plus SO concerns, etc.) then Boalt is your answer. If not, go Penn.

FWIW, I drive a VW (a 1999 with 150K+ miles to boot!) because I couldn't see spending an additional ~25% for the luxury options. On the other hand, I chose to pass up a much cheaper, very well respected top-30 (that would have gotten me a nice JD) to "buy" the additional opportunities that UCB will offer me. It's a slightly different situation than you're in but the point stands...only YOU can determine how much $ you're willing to pay for the intangibles.

Good luck!

Edit: I also agree with the others above that have said don't base your decision solely on the actions of people that you will be dealing with only periodically. Sure it'll come into play, but it's your profs & fellow students that you'll be with EVERY DAY who should hold sway in making that decision.

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heyyitskatie
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby heyyitskatie » Thu Apr 23, 2009 12:19 pm

Rotor wrote:OP, I'm sorry you didn't get the $ from Berk, and I'll apologize in advance for the following rant.

Maybe I'm the illegitimate love child of Mr Spock, but why all the emotion over not getting something that isn't a right? This is more directed at those posters ANGRY they didn't get matched or grants moreso than the OP's heart-felt disappointment, but at the end of the day they are both expressions of entitlement to the $ of varying degrees. If you get an offer (like the great offer from Penn, congrats OP!), be thankful. If you don't get $ that wasn't yours to begin with, c'est la vie. It's not like they are charging you more than sticker. Plan for the worst; hope for the best. /rant


I think OP's case is different from most because of the Berk. matching scholarship program...he/she was made to feel like the match was part of the berkeley financial aid package because that's how they bill it...I doubt he/she would have been so affronted had berkeley not initially dangled the carrot in front of her in such an egregious fashion.

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IzziesGal
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby IzziesGal » Thu Apr 23, 2009 12:19 pm

jacktripper wrote:
kurama20 wrote:
kurama20 wrote:
You really shouldn't get attached to school outside of HYS if that's an option.


I disagree with this entirely. There are PLENTY of valid reasons to get attached to the other schools in the T14 (Gtown if one has a strong interest in political work, Chicago if one has hopes of settling there, Berkeley if someone just felt more comfortable there and fell in love with the clinics or something else, etc). Just saying that the other 11 or so schools actually do have something to offer, and happiness does exist beyond HYS.


I meant that you shouldn't get attached to a school outside of HYS when you have another top 14 school with a full scholarship. When you put things into perspective and you start thinking about the power that debt can have over your life it just doesn't make sense to be so attached to one school that you are willing to go into massive debt when you have a peer school that has given you a full scholarship. I'm sorry but the notion that I like NYU because of the "feel" and "style" so I'm going to take it at sticker over a full scholarship at say UVA is borderline ridiculous. A lot of us younger posters have this immature perspective that debt is not that big of a deal and that you should always go with your gut. I hate to say it but for a lot of people under 30 their "gut" doesn't know what the hell it's talking about. That's all I'm trying to say. Not that it's HYS or bust. It's just that those are the only schools worth considering at sticker price when you have a full scholarship at a top 14, and notice I said considering.


+1. Well said.


I never mentioned anything about "feeling" and "going with your gut." ONE of my examples was this: Berkeley if someone just felt more comfortable there and fell in love with the clinics or something else, etc . I never said someone should just abandon a scholarship on a whim. Feeling more comfortable AND feeling strongly about a clinic (or something else) were both important. If someone is completely drawn to CARC, and has a future mapped out in international relations or human rights, then maybe Berkeley at sticker is a better fit. Who are we to jump in and judge them, for having an "immature perspective," when that's not even the case?

My point was that there are a lot of us who are married, have children, or are in life situations where as much as we would love to pack up and move in order to take $$$ at school A, we need to attend school B at full price, for whatever reason. If someone has 10 years worth of IP or tech experience, it might not make sense for that person to attend Penn over Berkeley. Not all of us are in the same situation, and not all of us have the luxury of just moving on a whim. Please consider that before judging other people's posts. What works for you, may not work for everyone.

Edit: Someone else posted about not liking Philly, and that being enough for her to pass up Penn with a full scholly. I think that's perfectly valid - if you're miserable for three years, the free education is not worth it.

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Rotor
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby Rotor » Thu Apr 23, 2009 12:38 pm

heyyitskatie wrote:
Rotor wrote:OP, I'm sorry you didn't get the $ from Berk, and I'll apologize in advance for the following rant.

Maybe I'm the illegitimate love child of Mr Spock, but why all the emotion over not getting something that isn't a right? This is more directed at those posters ANGRY they didn't get matched or grants moreso than the OP's heart-felt disappointment, but at the end of the day they are both expressions of entitlement to the $ of varying degrees. If you get an offer (like the great offer from Penn, congrats OP!), be thankful. If you don't get $ that wasn't yours to begin with, c'est la vie. It's not like they are charging you more than sticker. Plan for the worst; hope for the best. /rant


I think OP's case is different from most because of the Berk. matching scholarship program...he/she was made to feel like the match was part of the berkeley financial aid package because that's how they bill it...I doubt he/she would have been so affronted had berkeley not initially dangled the carrot in front of her in such an egregious fashion.

Agree 100% that calling it a matching program is a public relations nightmare. But I don't think that the carrot was dangled very much...everything on their site says that most offers are need based...the matching letter even says that a match is not guaranteed. Yes OP had good relations and a LOR from a dean, but that's far from "you will get money". (And if the dean said that, then shame on the dean.) And again, my rant was more directed at other posters (largely in other threads, but some here) who get pissed off at a school not offering money and go elsewhere because they felt disrespected.

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teachlearn
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby teachlearn » Thu Apr 23, 2009 12:44 pm

Yeah, I agree with a lot of what has been said. I do feel very frustrated that Berkeley bills it as a "matching" program when a lot of people don't get aid... why not just call it merit scholarships in the first place?

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kurama20
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby kurama20 » Thu Apr 23, 2009 12:56 pm

I never mentioned anything about "feeling" and "going with your gut." ONE of my examples was this: Berkeley if someone just felt more comfortable there and fell in love with the clinics or something else, etc . I never said someone should just abandon a scholarship on a whim. Feeling more comfortable AND feeling strongly about a clinic (or something else) were both important. If someone is completely drawn to CARC, and has a future mapped out in international relations or human rights, then maybe Berkeley at sticker is a better fit. Who are we to jump in and judge them, for having an "immature perspective," when that's not even the case?

My point was that there are a lot of us who are married, have children, or are in life situations where as much as we would love to pack up and move in order to take $$$ at school A, we need to attend school B at full price, for whatever reason. If someone has 10 years worth of IP or tech experience, it might not make sense for that person to attend Penn over Berkeley. Not all of us are in the same situation, and not all of us have the luxury of just moving on a whim. Please consider that before judging other people's posts. What works for you, may not work for everyone.


The first line of my post was directed at you, the rest of it was just a general statement about picking schools! :) It wasn't an argument aimed at you or anything like that. I see a lot of people saying go to Mich at sticker over a full ride at Duke based off of how the poster felt about a ASW, phone conversations with a secretary in admissions, and how the campus looked. That's the sort of situation/decision making process I was referring to. Also I should have added the BIG caveat that I agree with your bolded statement and that this is the only other factor that I would say is very important in this sort of situation. SO family issues and the like are all serious life impacting issues that can/do out weigh debt in certain instances.

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IzziesGal
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby IzziesGal » Thu Apr 23, 2009 1:15 pm

kurama20 wrote:
I never mentioned anything about "feeling" and "going with your gut." ONE of my examples was this: Berkeley if someone just felt more comfortable there and fell in love with the clinics or something else, etc . I never said someone should just abandon a scholarship on a whim. Feeling more comfortable AND feeling strongly about a clinic (or something else) were both important. If someone is completely drawn to CARC, and has a future mapped out in international relations or human rights, then maybe Berkeley at sticker is a better fit. Who are we to jump in and judge them, for having an "immature perspective," when that's not even the case?

My point was that there are a lot of us who are married, have children, or are in life situations where as much as we would love to pack up and move in order to take $$$ at school A, we need to attend school B at full price, for whatever reason. If someone has 10 years worth of IP or tech experience, it might not make sense for that person to attend Penn over Berkeley. Not all of us are in the same situation, and not all of us have the luxury of just moving on a whim. Please consider that before judging other people's posts. What works for you, may not work for everyone.


The first line of my post was directed at you, the rest of it was just a general statement about picking schools! :) It wasn't an argument aimed at you or anything like that. I see a lot of people saying go to Mich at sticker over a full ride at Duke based off of how the poster felt about a ASW, phone conversations with a secretary in admissions, and how the campus looked. That's the sort of situation/decision making process I was referring to. Also I should have added the BIG caveat that I agree with your bolded statement and that this is the only other factor that I would say is very important in this sort of situation. SO family issues and the like are all serious life impacting issues that can/do out weigh debt in certain instances.


Seems that we think the same way about this then. :wink: I, too, think it's ridiculous to just go with a gut feeling on a school. I think a well thought out, substantive reason is needed to pass up a fully scholly from a great school in favor of one of its peers at sticker.

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Kohinoor
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby Kohinoor » Thu Apr 23, 2009 1:30 pm

Rotor wrote:
heyyitskatie wrote:
Rotor wrote:OP, I'm sorry you didn't get the $ from Berk, and I'll apologize in advance for the following rant.

Maybe I'm the illegitimate love child of Mr Spock, but why all the emotion over not getting something that isn't a right? This is more directed at those posters ANGRY they didn't get matched or grants moreso than the OP's heart-felt disappointment, but at the end of the day they are both expressions of entitlement to the $ of varying degrees. If you get an offer (like the great offer from Penn, congrats OP!), be thankful. If you don't get $ that wasn't yours to begin with, c'est la vie. It's not like they are charging you more than sticker. Plan for the worst; hope for the best. /rant


I think OP's case is different from most because of the Berk. matching scholarship program...he/she was made to feel like the match was part of the berkeley financial aid package because that's how they bill it...I doubt he/she would have been so affronted had berkeley not initially dangled the carrot in front of her in such an egregious fashion.

Agree 100% that calling it a matching program is a public relations nightmare. But I don't think that the carrot was dangled very much...everything on their site says that most offers are need based...the matching letter even says that a match is not guaranteed. Yes OP had good relations and a LOR from a dean, but that's far from "you will get money". (And if the dean said that, then shame on the dean.) And again, my rant was more directed at other posters (largely in other threads, but some here) who get pissed off at a school not offering money and go elsewhere because they felt disrespected.
Alot of the people here have never dealt with disappointment or rejection on this scale before.

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jacktripper
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby jacktripper » Thu Apr 23, 2009 2:06 pm

Kohinoor wrote: Alot of the people here have never dealt with disappointment or rejection on this scale before.


I really think our generation needs to get a little perspective on life. I posted this on another thread, and I think it is relevant to this thread:
This reminded me of a 60 Minutes segment I found interesting. If you are interested: --LinkRemoved--
There is a video of the segment that goes into how there's an industry growing to meet the demands of our twenty-something generation in the workplace. Bosses are learning how to deal with a whole generation that doesn't know how to accept that they are not special and entitled to everything their heart desires. Don't get me wrong, I can relate to OP. I am a young adult, but I also think we have never learned to deal correctly with disappointment. Lets not forget OP still has a scholarship to a peer school. So why is this situation so disappointing?

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IzziesGal
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby IzziesGal » Thu Apr 23, 2009 2:11 pm

jacktripper wrote:
Kohinoor wrote: Alot of the people here have never dealt with disappointment or rejection on this scale before.


I really think our generation needs to get a little perspective on life. I posted this on another thread, and I think it is relevant to this thread:
This reminded me of a 60 Minutes segment I found interesting. If you are interested: --LinkRemoved--
There is a video of the segment that goes into how there's an industry growing to meet the demands of our twenty-something generation in the workplace. Bosses are learning how to deal with a whole generation that doesn't know how to accept that they are not special and entitled to everything their heart desires. Don't get me wrong, I can relate to OP. I am a young adult, but I also think we have never learned to deal correctly with disappointment. Lets not forget OP still has a scholarship to a peer school. So why is this situation so disappointing?


One of the biggest reasons why I cannot wait to leave NYC. The sense of entitlement that the young adults I have met here have is overwhelming. They walk around thinking that they simply deserve things more than others do. I can't stand that.

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jacktripper
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby jacktripper » Thu Apr 23, 2009 2:27 pm

IzziesGal wrote:
jacktripper wrote:
Kohinoor wrote: Alot of the people here have never dealt with disappointment or rejection on this scale before.


I really think our generation needs to get a little perspective on life. I posted this on another thread, and I think it is relevant to this thread:
This reminded me of a 60 Minutes segment I found interesting. If you are interested: --LinkRemoved--
There is a video of the segment that goes into how there's an industry growing to meet the demands of our twenty-something generation in the workplace. Bosses are learning how to deal with a whole generation that doesn't know how to accept that they are not special and entitled to everything their heart desires. Don't get me wrong, I can relate to OP. I am a young adult, but I also think we have never learned to deal correctly with disappointment. Lets not forget OP still has a scholarship to a peer school. So why is this situation so disappointing?


One of the biggest reasons why I cannot wait to leave NYC. The sense of entitlement that the young adults I have met here have is overwhelming. They walk around thinking that they simply deserve things more than others do. I can't stand that.


Yeah, sometimes I think the Greatest Generation would be rolling over in their graves if they saw some of the stuff we do. "We lived through the depression and defeated Hitler so you kids could cry about this?"

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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby sbalive » Thu Apr 23, 2009 2:33 pm

IzziesGal wrote:
jacktripper wrote:
Kohinoor wrote: Alot of the people here have never dealt with disappointment or rejection on this scale before.


I really think our generation needs to get a little perspective on life. I posted this on another thread, and I think it is relevant to this thread:
This reminded me of a 60 Minutes segment I found interesting. If you are interested: --LinkRemoved--
There is a video of the segment that goes into how there's an industry growing to meet the demands of our twenty-something generation in the workplace. Bosses are learning how to deal with a whole generation that doesn't know how to accept that they are not special and entitled to everything their heart desires. Don't get me wrong, I can relate to OP. I am a young adult, but I also think we have never learned to deal correctly with disappointment. Lets not forget OP still has a scholarship to a peer school. So why is this situation so disappointing?


One of the biggest reasons why I cannot wait to leave NYC. The sense of entitlement that the young adults I have met here have is overwhelming. They walk around thinking that they simply deserve things more than others do. I can't stand that.


It's not any better anywhere else, I'm afraid.

I don't think the feeling is all that new - if you think about it, for most people this is the first time they go for things and get rejected, especially those who are worried about matching grants from Berkeley. What is new is that people feel like they can vocalize their complaints about the situation. That seems to be a recent development, and it's painfully annoying.

Jay Obee
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby Jay Obee » Thu Apr 23, 2009 2:36 pm

jacktripper wrote:
IzziesGal wrote:
jacktripper wrote:
Kohinoor wrote: Alot of the people here have never dealt with disappointment or rejection on this scale before.


I really think our generation needs to get a little perspective on life. I posted this on another thread, and I think it is relevant to this thread:
This reminded me of a 60 Minutes segment I found interesting. If you are interested: --LinkRemoved--
There is a video of the segment that goes into how there's an industry growing to meet the demands of our twenty-something generation in the workplace. Bosses are learning how to deal with a whole generation that doesn't know how to accept that they are not special and entitled to everything their heart desires. Don't get me wrong, I can relate to OP. I am a young adult, but I also think we have never learned to deal correctly with disappointment. Lets not forget OP still has a scholarship to a peer school. So why is this situation so disappointing?


One of the biggest reasons why I cannot wait to leave NYC. The sense of entitlement that the young adults I have met here have is overwhelming. They walk around thinking that they simply deserve things more than others do. I can't stand that.


Yeah, sometimes I think the Greatest Generation would be rolling over in their graves if they saw some of the stuff we do. "We lived through the depression and defeated Hitler so you kids could cry about this?"


There is nothing wrong with a sense of your own worth, though. Try not to sell yourselves short on the job market-know what the going rate is and know what you should get paid. If you get passed over for a promotion when you are the top performer, you have a right to be frustrated, and you have a right to go somewhere where they appreciate the merit of your work. This is not a sense of entitlement in OP's case. She has a certain value, and has other options that recognize that value. Like Berkeley as she may, she is entitled to tell them to pay up or kiss off. It is their loss, and this is clear in the aggregate. Enough people make this decision and Berkeley's numbers go down the drain. Few schools can act like they don't have to compete with scholarships from other schools in the top ten, and Berkeley is not one of them.

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dresden doll
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby dresden doll » Thu Apr 23, 2009 2:44 pm

sbalive wrote:
IzziesGal wrote:
jacktripper wrote:
Kohinoor wrote: Alot of the people here have never dealt with disappointment or rejection on this scale before.


I really think our generation needs to get a little perspective on life. I posted this on another thread, and I think it is relevant to this thread:
This reminded me of a 60 Minutes segment I found interesting. If you are interested: --LinkRemoved--
There is a video of the segment that goes into how there's an industry growing to meet the demands of our twenty-something generation in the workplace. Bosses are learning how to deal with a whole generation that doesn't know how to accept that they are not special and entitled to everything their heart desires. Don't get me wrong, I can relate to OP. I am a young adult, but I also think we have never learned to deal correctly with disappointment. Lets not forget OP still has a scholarship to a peer school. So why is this situation so disappointing?


One of the biggest reasons why I cannot wait to leave NYC. The sense of entitlement that the young adults I have met here have is overwhelming. They walk around thinking that they simply deserve things more than others do. I can't stand that.


It's not any better anywhere else, I'm afraid.

I don't think the feeling is all that new - if you think about it, for most people this is the first time they go for things and get rejected, especially those who are worried about matching grants from Berkeley. What is new is that people feel like they can vocalize their complaints about the situation. That seems to be a recent development, and it's painfully annoying.


This sort of a thing is one of the few reasons I'm sometimes grateful I spent a few years of my childhood growing up in a war zone. The experience of genuine hardship on that scale has been invaluable source of reality check. Nowadays, whenever I feel like whining/pitying myself I just to stop to think: "Really? You're going to feel sorry for yourself over that after what you've been through? It's that huge deal of a deal? Really?" Works like a charm. I instantly snap out of it.

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IzziesGal
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby IzziesGal » Thu Apr 23, 2009 2:44 pm

Jay Obee wrote:
There is nothing wrong with a sense of your own worth, though. Try not to sell yourselves short on the job market-know what the going rate is and know what you should get paid. If you get passed over for a promotion when you are the top performer, you have a right to be frustrated, and you have a right to go somewhere where they appreciate the merit of your work. This is not a sense of entitlement in OP's case. She has a certain value, and has other options that recognize that value. Like Berkeley as she may, she is entitled to tell them to pay up or kiss off. It is their loss, and this is clear in the aggregate. Enough people make this decision and Berkeley's numbers go down the drain. Few schools can act like they don't have to compete with scholarships from other schools in the top ten, and Berkeley is not one of them.


We were just talking about senses of entitlement in general...not calling out OP on it. :D There's definitely a difference between knowing your own worth, and thinking you should be fed with a silver (or platinum?) spoon. I know a few people who came from privilege and are having a REALLY hard time accepting the fact that they didn't get all the admissions offers they thought they would. It's a humbling experience, and in some cases, it can reveal someone's true colors.

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jacktripper
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby jacktripper » Thu Apr 23, 2009 2:47 pm

Jay Obee wrote:
There is nothing wrong with a sense of your own worth, though. Try not to sell yourselves short on the job market-know what the going rate is and know what you should get paid. If you get passed over for a promotion when you are the top performer, you have a right to be frustrated, and you have a right to go somewhere where they appreciate the merit of your work. This is not a sense of entitlement in OP's case. She has a certain value, and has other options that recognize that value. Like Berkeley as she may, she is entitled to tell them to pay up or kiss off. It is their loss, and this is clear in the aggregate. Enough people make this decision and Berkeley's numbers go down the drain. Few schools can act like they don't have to compete with scholarships from other schools in the top ten, and Berkeley is not one of them.


Don't get me wrong. I agree that we should all fight for as much as we deserve in general. My criticism is not aimed at OP. What I was trying to say to OP is that instead of being disappointed that they are not going to Berkeley, why not begin focusing on how great it is to have a scholarship at Penn? Generally speaking though, I do believe our generation has taken this sense of entitlement a bit too far. Considering that this sense of entitlement means employers and universities have to meet these demands then it is a good thing for all us, but this doesn't mean it is any less ridiculous in some instances.

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heyyitskatie
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby heyyitskatie » Thu Apr 23, 2009 2:59 pm

Rotor wrote:
heyyitskatie wrote:
Rotor wrote:OP, I'm sorry you didn't get the $ from Berk, and I'll apologize in advance for the following rant.

Maybe I'm the illegitimate love child of Mr Spock, but why all the emotion over not getting something that isn't a right? This is more directed at those posters ANGRY they didn't get matched or grants moreso than the OP's heart-felt disappointment, but at the end of the day they are both expressions of entitlement to the $ of varying degrees. If you get an offer (like the great offer from Penn, congrats OP!), be thankful. If you don't get $ that wasn't yours to begin with, c'est la vie. It's not like they are charging you more than sticker. Plan for the worst; hope for the best. /rant


I think OP's case is different from most because of the Berk. matching scholarship program...he/she was made to feel like the match was part of the berkeley financial aid package because that's how they bill it...I doubt he/she would have been so affronted had berkeley not initially dangled the carrot in front of her in such an egregious fashion.

Agree 100% that calling it a matching program is a public relations nightmare. But I don't think that the carrot was dangled very much...everything on their site says that most offers are need based...the matching letter even says that a match is not guaranteed. Yes OP had good relations and a LOR from a dean, but that's far from "you will get money". (And if the dean said that, then shame on the dean.) And again, my rant was more directed at other posters (largely in other threads, but some here) who get pissed off at a school not offering money and go elsewhere because they felt disrespected.


:)

I do agree with the general sentiment of your post...and having looked over the letter, that info is indeed in the fine print...it's just not what I remember reading, having been overtaken by the fluff, haha.

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babs22pa
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby babs22pa » Thu Apr 23, 2009 3:12 pm

Kohinoor wrote:Alot of the people here have never dealt with disappointment or rejection on this scale before.


Well, they might as well get used to it now. Once they start applying for legal jobs, rejection will become common place. Even the most successful people get rejected by many places. I am slowing learning to focus on what I do get, rather than what I don't.

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Kohinoor
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Re: Denied Matching Aid at Berkeley

Postby Kohinoor » Thu Apr 23, 2009 3:17 pm

babs22pa wrote:
Kohinoor wrote:Alot of the people here have never dealt with disappointment or rejection on this scale before.


Well, they might as well get used to it now. Once they start applying for legal jobs, rejection will become common place. Even the most successful people get rejected by many places. I am slowing learning to focus on what I do get, rather than what I don't.

Way before that. Law school grade curve is gonna wreck some lives.




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