Scholarship negotiation letter draft

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bonesinger
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Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby bonesinger » Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:14 pm

what should I change?

Dear Admissions Committee,

Thank you for your acceptance into ____ School of Law.

I am looking forward to joining your Class of 2012.

Due to my situation, I have been very careful in the consideration of which law school to attend.

I have received a substantial scholarship offer from various other law schools, which forces me into a difficult situation. ___ law School’s proximity to my family and home, as well as its location near a large legal market makes it one of my top choices.

Owing to these factors I respectfully request your consideration for a renewable scholarship.

Thank you for your time and appreciation in this matter.

legends159
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Re: Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby legends159 » Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:15 pm

mention why you want to go to this school. There has to be something that makes this school unique besides its ranking.

oh and mention what you personally can contribute. That letter you wrote sounds like something that was copied and pasted from some website. Personalize it a bit.
Last edited by legends159 on Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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srb
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Re: Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby srb » Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:16 pm

bonesinger wrote:what should I change?

Dear Admissions Committee,

Thank you for your acceptance into ____ School of Law.

I am looking forward to joining your Class of 2012.

Due to my financial circumstances, I have been very careful in the consideration of which law school to attend.

I have received a substantial scholarship offer from various other law schools, which forces me into a difficult situation. I have attached those offers for your review. ___ law School’s proximity to my family and home, as well as its location near a large legal market makes it one of my top choices.

Owing to these factors I respectfully request your consideration for a renewable scholarship.

Thank you for your time and appreciation in this matter.


Fixed for redundancy. I also think it's common practice to attach the other offers so they know what they're up against.

Edit: Also, address it to the person who signed your scholarship offer (I think you've already received one from the school). If you have not, address it to whom it may concern at financial aid, and find the Financial Aid email if you can. Admissions has nothing to do with it.

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ubermensch
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Re: Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby ubermensch » Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:21 pm

Based on what I've read here, I recommend that you identify at least one or two peer schools that are offering you money. Yale doesn't care if UC Hastings gave you good money.

Also, I would change your spacing to:

Dear Admissions Committee,

Thank you for your acceptance into ____ School of Law. I am looking forward to joining your Class of 2012.

Due to my financial circumstances, I have been very careful in the consideration of which law school to attend. I have received a substantial scholarship offer from various other law schools, which forces me into a difficult situation. I have attached those offers for your review. ___ law School’s proximity to my family and home, as well as its location near a large legal market makes it one of my top choices. Owing to these factors I respectfully request your consideration for a renewable scholarship.

Thank you for your time and appreciation in this matter.
Last edited by ubermensch on Wed Mar 18, 2009 7:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

bonesinger
Posts: 51
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 11:24 pm

Re: Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby bonesinger » Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:34 pm

How about this?
Dear ____,

Thank you for your acceptance into ____ School of Law. I am looking forward to joining your Class of 2012.

Due to my financial circumstances, I have been very careful in the consideration of which law school to attend. I have received a substantial scholarship offer from various other law schools, which forces me into a difficult situation. I have attached those offers for your review.

___ law School’s Human Rights and International Law program as well as the certificate program for Intellectual Property law coincide with my work in global economies.
Additionally, the proximity to my family and home, as well as its location near a large legal market makes it one of my top choices.

Owing to these factors I respectfully request your consideration for a renewable scholarship.

Thank you for your time and appreciation in this matter.


This was another draft:

Dear Admissions Committee,

Thank your acceptance into ___ school of Law for admission into the class of 2012.

I would like to attend your Law school as it fulfills the requirements that I am looking for, namely, proximity to family members and future endeavors.
However, due to my personal and family circumstances, I am requesting a need-based and merit financial scholarship to support my decision to accept your admission similar to offers that I have received from other law schools.

Additionally, I would like to be considered for a renewal scholarship offered by ____(or name of other law school).

Thank you and I look forward to joining your institution.

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srb
Posts: 62
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Re: Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby srb » Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:45 pm

bonesinger wrote:How about this?
Dear ____,

Thank you for my acceptance into ____ School of Law. I am looking forward to joining your Class of 2012.

Due to my financial circumstances, I have been very careful in the consideration of which law school to attend. I have received a substantial scholarship offer from various other law schools, which forces me into a difficult situation. I have attached those offers for your review.

___ law School’s Human Rights and International Law program as well as the certificate program for Intellectual Property law coincide with my work in global economies.
Additionally, the proximity to my family and home, as well as its location near a large legal market makes it one of my top choices.

Owing to these factors I respectfully request your consideration for a renewable scholarship.

Thank you for your time and appreciation in this matter.


This was another draft:

Dear Admissions Committee,

Thank your acceptance into ___ school of Law for admission into the class of 2012.

I would like to attend your Law school as it fulfills the requirements that I am looking for, namely, proximity to family members and future endeavors.
However, due to my personal and family circumstances, I am requesting a need-based and merit financial scholarship to support my decision to accept your admission similar to offers that I have received from other law schools.

Additionally, I would like to be considered for a renewal scholarship offered by ____(or name of other law school).

Thank you and I look forward to joining your institution.

bonesinger
Posts: 51
Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 11:24 pm

Re: Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby bonesinger » Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:47 pm

heh, thanks for that fix, any other c&c welcome!

changed it around a bit:

Dear ____,

Thank you for my acceptance into ____ School of Law. I am looking forward to joining your Class of 2012.

Due to my financial circumstances, I have been very careful in the consideration of which law school to attend. I have received a substantial scholarship offer from various other law schools, which forces me into a difficult situation. I have attached those offers for your review.

___ law School’s Human Rights and International Law program as well as the certificate program for Intellectual Property law coincide with my work in global economies and makes it one of my top choices.

Additionally, the proximity to my family and home, as well as its location near a large legal market substantially weigh in my decision to attend.

Owing to these factors I respectfully request your consideration for a renewable scholarship.

Thank you for your time and appreciation in this matter.


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srb
Posts: 62
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2008 12:49 am

Re: Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby srb » Wed Feb 25, 2009 3:02 pm

You have a lot of one sentence paragraphs. It's hard to read. Condense them.

Also, make sure that they do refer to themselves as "X Law School", before saying "X Law School's program"...some of them go by "School of Law"

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mvk216
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Re: Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby mvk216 » Fri Feb 27, 2009 4:58 pm

OK, I've received a decent scholarship to school X but according to these boards and LSN many people with substantially lower lsats and gpas have received up to and over twice what I received. I also received a substantially smaller scholarship to one of school Xs peers and a substantially larger scholarship to a school ranked 20 spots behind school X.

Do I have any grounds to negotiate here? Given a larger scholarship, I would commit wholeheartedly to school X. School X is traditionally pretty generous with their scholarships so I'm hoping to bump up my scholarship but 15 or 20k.

kiwislug
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Re: Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby kiwislug » Fri Feb 27, 2009 5:03 pm

Due to my situation, I have been very careful in the consideration of whichh law school to attend.


maybe it's just me but I don't like the way that reads. I don't think it is important to say either. Why not just say "My financial situation makes access to scholarship money a particular concern for me in the decision making process" or something?

journogirl
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Re: Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby journogirl » Fri Feb 27, 2009 6:50 pm

"Thank you for YOUR acceptance..." does not make sense. That's saying that the school has accepted its own admissions committee.

Try: Thank you for accepting me into the BLAH BLAH Class of 2012.

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LionelHutzIII
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Re: Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby LionelHutzIII » Fri Feb 27, 2009 6:56 pm

.
Last edited by LionelHutzIII on Sat Feb 13, 2010 8:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

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animalcrkrs
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Re: Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby animalcrkrs » Fri Mar 06, 2009 2:24 pm

Just wanted to bump this thread as I found it quite useful...

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studymaster
Posts: 73
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Re: Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby studymaster » Mon Mar 23, 2009 1:04 am

mvk216 wrote:OK, I've received a decent scholarship to school X but according to these boards and LSN many people with substantially lower lsats and gpas have received up to and over twice what I received. I also received a substantially smaller scholarship to one of school Xs peers and a substantially larger scholarship to a school ranked 20 spots behind school X.

Do I have any grounds to negotiate here? Given a larger scholarship, I would commit wholeheartedly to school X. School X is traditionally pretty generous with their scholarships so I'm hoping to bump up my scholarship but 15 or 20k.

WUSTL?

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staplegunsarefun
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Re: Scholarship negotiation letter draft

Postby staplegunsarefun » Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:05 pm

I don't know if this is helpful since my situation was different. Since I found reading other people's letters helpful when composing mine, I thought I would add it to the thread. I was pretty successful with:

Mr. [Associate Dean of Admissions],

I recently received my acceptance to the 2009 J.D. program at XXX University, as well as a renewable scholarship in the amount of $X,XXX per year. I would like to start by thanking you for this excellent opportunity!

As a working professional who will be pursuing my legal education while continuing my career, I have been selective in choosing law schools. XXX's academic reputation, flexibility and focus on public-interest law make it an excellent fit for me. The part-time program at XXX accommodates my educational goals as well as my career-based schedule and location constraints.

In February, I retook my LSAT exam. During my original LSAT I had a low fever and did not perform at the level I am capable of. Since the exam is expensive and my score was adequate, I chose not to retake it before applying to schools. Upon further consideration, I decided my original score did not accurately reflect my abilities. Given the importance of LSAT scores in the admissions process, I decided to retake the exam. The results were released last week. My score improved from XXX (XXth Percentile) to XXX (XXth Percentile). If you have not already received the modified score report from the LSAC, it should be available soon.

Given my admission profile (GPA and LSAT well above 75th Percentile, M.S., multiple publications and work experience) I was hoping it would be possible to request additional renewable scholarship funds. I thought that my increased LSAT score combined with my diverse life-experiences and solid credentials might qualify me for additional consideration.

Thank you very much for taking the time to review my request. Please feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.

Kind regards,
staplegunsarefun


Part of my success was probably due to increased LSAT scores. But honestly, I didn't improve much, and I got a lot more money.




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