Life Help Forum

[turtle4251]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this in, but I would really like some advice. I am currently a junior in college, I've always wanted to go to law school. Long story short, I have lived in an emotionally and physically abusive home my whole life and I am finally at the point where I realize that I don't deserve this and never did. I really want to leave, but if I leave now, my tuition will be taken away and I wont be able to graduate. My two options right now are either to tough it out for one more year so I can go to law school after or to leave college and try to find work as a legal assistant. Any advice would be helpful as I feel very lost right now

[icechicken]

I'm sorry to hear about your home life.

If you don't feel you're in imminent danger, it's probably a good idea to try and finish college. A bachelor's degree is necessary for many opportunities, of which law school is but one, and that freedom will make it easier for you to cut the abusive people out of your life. Also, if you're interested in professional counselling, it might be free or subsidized by your university.

You should talk to the financial-aid department at your school. They've seen similar situations before and might be able to help you out with grants or direct you to outside scholarships. Even financing your last year of college with loans could be worthwhile if it means you're not financially dependent on your family anymore.

[181plz]

I would recommend visiting your school’s counseling services and financial aid office to see how you can go about obtaining other sources of funding if you were to leave your family’s home. I imagine it may be possible to do so without leaving school.

[rowdy]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this in, but I would really like some advice. I am currently a junior in college, I've always wanted to go to law school. Long story short, I have lived in an emotionally and physically abusive home my whole life and I am finally at the point where I realize that I don't deserve this and never did. I really want to leave, but if I leave now, my tuition will be taken away and I wont be able to graduate. My two options right now are either to tough it out for one more year so I can go to law school after or to leave college and try to find work as a legal assistant. Any advice would be helpful as I feel very lost right now

See bolded words above. College will still be there and law school will still be there in the future. Law school is hard, life is hard, and you need to take care of yourself if you want to make it. Trust me, if you get out of that situation, even if you have to save up money and go back years later, you will feel like college is on "easy mode" once you are in a better place.

[turtle4251]

Thank you so much to all who replied. I have gone to the fin aid office but my school doesn't offer much help, and the counseling center only offers group therapy. I feel that I am just in a very strange family dynamic that most people can't understand. Too much to get into clearly but I'm thinking I will just stick it out until the point that I either graduate or that I just can't handle it at all anymore. I think if I left school, I would just start working and end up never going back or trying to go to law school again.

[coskigirl]

Thank you so much to all who replied. I have gone to the fin aid office but my school doesn't offer much help, and the counseling center only offers group therapy. I feel that I am just in a very strange family dynamic that most people can't understand. Too much to get into clearly but I'm thinking I will just stick it out until the point that I either graduate or that I just can't handle it at all anymore. I think if I left school, I would just start working and end up never going back or trying to go to law school again.

Sending you a PM.

[Piggy11]

I'm truly sorry about your family situation. I can't advise whether or not you should stick it out for another year for the sake of finishing college, because I'm not in your situation, and I can imagine a year could feel like a lifetime in some types of environment.
Please do talk to the financial aid office at your university and find out if there is any way they could help you be classified as an "independent student", where you would qualify for financial aid based on your own finances, not your parents.
One of the circumstances to be considered independent is "a student for whom a financial aid administrator makes a documented determination of independence by reason of other unusual circumstances". Physical abuse was cited as a reason, but I'm not sure how much documentation you would need.
Best of luck in this scary journey, and hope you end up in a much better place.

[mcmand]

Thank you so much to all who replied. I have gone to the fin aid office but my school doesn't offer much help, and the counseling center only offers group therapy. I feel that I am just in a very strange family dynamic that most people can't understand. Too much to get into clearly but I'm thinking I will just stick it out until the point that I either graduate or that I just can't handle it at all anymore. I think if I left school, I would just start working and end up never going back or trying to go to law school again.

People do go back to law school after working. It's very common. Don't worry about that. Focus on how to get out of your current situation.

Is your current university public or private? If public, do you think you could stomach student loans to finish out the year? Depending on your cost of education/living, they could be very manageable for a recent college grad, and worth their weight in your happiness from being out of an abusive environment.

Please keep us updated to the extent you are able and feel comfortable doing so.

[limeseltzer]

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. You definitely have options, and you should go with whatever feels right for you. Those could include:

- Taking out loans to pay for the rest of school if you need to
- Waiting until your family pays for the next semester of tuition, and then taking out loans to pay for senior year/move out
- Applying for programs that give you an excuse to get out of the house and live somewhere else - like study abroad, or semester exchange programs (like semester in DC programs) if your schools offers something like that and your family will pay for it
- Applying to less expensive schools to transfer to for your senior year
- Reducing your courseload so you're still on track to graduate, but so you can start working to save up money to get out when you're ready to

Let us know if you want to talk anything through - I hope it works out. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

[Rigo]

No advice on your current situation, because who am I to say.
BUT adequately prepare for the LSAT. And retake if necessary. Don't go to a mediocre school just to escape. I know I felt compelled to do that just to get away from home.

[da.goat]

Really sorry to hear about your situation. Adding to the excellent list of options above, one thing you might try (if it's not past whatever deadline your school sets) is applying to be an RA. That way you could live in the dorms, have a supervisory position on your resume, and make extra money. PM me if you want to talk through anything; I went through something similar in college. Good luck with everything

[turtle4251]

Thank you so so much to everyone who responded. Sorry it took me a few days to get back on here. This advice is all very helpful and I'm thinking of applying to a semester abroad or somewhere else if I am allowed. To the people who said to work, I do work now but all of my money i am not allowed to keep. I know its not the ideal situation but I think right now I'm just going to try to stay and graduate. As to what someone else said, you're right I shouldnt focus on attending a mediocre law school just to get out. Im thinking of just going anywhere that will give me the most money so that i dont need to ask for anything from my family. I have been studying for the lsat and have been averaging in the 170s for my practice tests. But i guess i would be happier going somewhere lower ranked with a scholarship. Thanks again everyone

[Rigo]

Is there a reason you can't take out loans in your own name without your parents? If you're a citizen, you should be able to.