Criminal Conviction Addendum Critique

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SallysMarbles
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Criminal Conviction Addendum Critique

Postby SallysMarbles » Mon Oct 09, 2017 8:59 pm

Seems a little wordy to me, and yes, I have a multitude of convictions. :(


On August 24, 2008, I had just enrolled at Utah State University, in Logan, Utah, for my freshman year. I was arrested while consuming alcohol with my friends and charged with “unlawful possession of alcohol by a minor.” I plead(ed) guilty to this charge and was sentenced to probation and a fine.

On August 30, 2008, In Logan Utah, I was arrested and charged with possession of marijuana and possession of alcohol by a minor, after consuming marijuana and alcohol in my dorm room with roommates. I plead guilty to both charges and was sentenced to probation and a fine, in addition to jail time for violating my previous probation.

On September 6, 2008, in Logan, Utah, I was again arrested and charged with consumption of alcohol by a minor after a bout of underage drinking with friends. I plead guilty, and the judge agreed to suspend my jail sentence if I voluntarily withdrew from school and sought treatment. This turned out to be a very good decision.

On November 16, 2008, while in voluntary treatment for drugs and alcohol in Sandy, Utah, I was arrested for retail theft. Another patient and myself were caught stealing books from Barnes & Noble. Because I had been on probation while in treatment, and under a suspended jail sentence dependent on my not committing any more crimes, my arrest resulted in my having to serve a 2 month long jail sentence? This time, I was sentenced to court-ordered rehabilitation for my previous issues with alcohol and marijuana use, and my impulsive stealing, and given a suspended jail sentence and probation. I completed treatment and probation successfully.

I regret that I made the decisions I did, but I’m grateful for what the experiences above taught me. Being compelled to withdraw from school and seek treatment occurred at a choice time in my life. I was able to change my thinking and behaviors, and make better choices. I also am grateful that I took a year or so off from school, and when I returned, I felt more prepared and focused, and able to take advantage of what a university education had to offer, which required me to be in a more mature state of mind.

On 4/15/2010, in Logan, Utah, I was arrested for simple assault. My roommate and I had a verbal disagreement, which escalated to him shoving me, and my reacting by tackling him to the ground. During this process, a glass was knocked off a table,and broke. While wrestling on the ground, my roommates’ forearm was cut by shards of glass. Upon realization that he was bleeding, we immediately stopped grappling and I rushed him to the emergency room. Neither of us wanted to report that his injury was a result of a stupid fight, so we reported the injury to hospital staff as resulting from him angrily punching through a fish tank. A perceptive nurse realized the falsehood, and reported this. We were both arrested for assault. I plead guilty and was sentenced to jail and probation for my actions.

Given my roommate was (and remains) a close friend, It's tempting for me to attempt to excuse this action as “a moment of foolishness” that should be allowed between young men who are friends. I know however, that this action was breaking the law, and no matter how silly the fight seemed at the time, that there are always consequences for actions, especially actions that can and do result in bodily harm, intentional or not. I took full responsibility for my actions, and since, have thought long and hard about what constitutes self-defense, and when such action is justified.

My experiences with the criminal justice system, though due to regrettable choices on my part, have made me more interested in how the law affects the lives of individuals, as well as made me more cognizant of how my own choices and behaviors affect society around me. I don’t believe one's’ debt to society is ever truly paid, especially mine. Consequently, I’ve made an effort to actively contribute to society by volunteering and eventually working for Utah Food Bank, as well as serving in other capacities in other volunteer organizations like the Sierra Club.

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UVA2B
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Re: Criminal Conviction Addendum Critique

Postby UVA2B » Mon Oct 09, 2017 9:17 pm

SallysMarbles wrote:Seems a little wordy to me, and yes, I have a multitude of convictions. :(


On August 24, 2008, I was arrested while consuming alcohol with my friends and charged with “unlawful possession of alcohol by a minor.” I pled guilty to this charge and was sentenced to probation and a fine.

On August 30, 2008, in Logan Utah, I was arrested and charged with possession of marijuana and possession of alcohol by a minor, after consuming marijuana and alcohol in my dorm room with roommates. I pled guilty to both charges and was sentenced to probation and a fine, in addition to jail time for violating my previous probation (how many days?).

On September 6, 2008, in Logan, Utah, I was arrested and charged with consumption of alcohol by a minor after a bout of underage drinking with friends. I pled guilty, and the judge agreed to suspend my jail sentence if I voluntarily withdrew from school and sought treatment. This turned out to be a very good decision (this sentence needs to be better and you should expand on what you did following this latest incident).

On November 16, 2008, while in voluntary treatment for drugs and alcohol in Sandy, Utah, I was arrested for retail theft. Another patient and I were caught stealing books from Barnes & Noble. Because I was on probation while in treatment, and under a suspended jail sentence dependent on my not committing any more crimes, my arrest resulted in having to serve a 2 month long jail sentence. I was sentenced to court-ordered rehabilitation for my previous issues with alcohol and marijuana use, and my impulsive stealing, and I was given a suspended jail sentence and probation. I completed treatment and probation successfully.

I regret that I made the decisions I did, but I’m grateful for what the experiences taught me. Being compelled to withdraw from school and seek treatment occurred at a choice time in my life. I was able to change my thinking and behaviors, and make better choices. I also am grateful that I took a year or so off from school, and when I returned, I felt more prepared and focused, and able to take advantage of what a university education had to offer, which required me to be in a more mature state of mind. (This entire paragraph doesn't make much sense considering you continued committing crimes after having to withdraw from school).

On April, 15, 2010, in Logan, Utah, I was arrested for simple assault. My roommate and I had a verbal disagreement, which escalated to him shoving me, and my reacting by tackling him to the ground. During this process, a glass was knocked off a table and broke. While wrestling on the ground, my roommates’ forearm was cut by shards of glass. Upon realization that he was bleeding, we immediately stopped grappling and I rushed him to the emergency room. We didn't want to admit the injury was due to a fight, so we lied that it happened when my roommate punched through the glass of a fish tank. A nurse figured out that was a lie and reported the incident. We were both arrested for assault. I pled guilty and was sentenced to jail and probation for my actions (length of jail/probation).

Given my roommate was (and remains) a close friend, It's tempting for me to attempt to excuse this action as “a moment of foolishness” that should be allowed between young men who are friends. I know, however, that this action was breaking the law, and no matter how silly the fight seemed at the time, there are always consequences for actions, especially actions that can and do result in bodily harm, intentional or not. I took full responsibility for my actions, and since, have thought long and hard about what constitutes self-defense, and when such action is justified (the last part is just bad, you should eliminate it).

My experiences with the criminal justice system, though due to regrettable choices on my part, have made me more interested in how the law affects the lives of individuals, and made me more cognizant of how my own choices and behaviors affect the people around me. I don’t believe one's debt to society is ever truly paid, especially mine. Consequently, I’ve made an effort to actively contribute to society by volunteering and eventually working for Utah Food Bank, as well as serving in other capacities in other volunteer organizations like the Sierra Club.


I've made some corrections in the quote above to make your writing slightly more coherent, because it was a bit rough. And the reasons you provide for your actions and justifications for why they were a good thing come off as bad/disingenuous. Your C&F disclosures should be very straight, factual, complete with accompanying records (don't actually provide the records, but provide case number, etc. if relevant). And you need to show coherent reasons for why you've learned from your ways and have actually fixed the underlying problems. So you should demonstrate contrition for your illegal underage behavior with drugs and alcohol, and what you've done to correct for your issues with violence. Dismissing it as friends who got into a stupid fight really undersells what happened. Stupid fights don't result in fisticuffs. Just accept that you took things too far, explain how you've learned how to avoid violent interactions, and how you and your roommate have made amends and have made steps to improve your relationship after that unfortunate encounter.

I'm no expert on this, but you may also want to at least consult a C&F attorney to discuss whether you'll have any issues with the bar. I don't think superficially that it will be a problem, but you have enough of a criminal history that it's at least worth looking into prior to trying your hand at law school.




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