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(Applications Advice, Letters of Recommendation . . . )
muzzy
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Postby muzzy » Tue Dec 31, 2013 3:30 pm

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Last edited by muzzy on Mon Jan 06, 2014 1:44 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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sashafierce
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Re: Resume feedback

Postby sashafierce » Tue Dec 31, 2013 4:11 pm

So, I just did mines and I used the samples from her book as well http://www.annaivey.com/system/files/u3/Resume_PDFs.pdf I also used this http://lsatblog.blogspot.com/2010/11/la ... -tips.html

One of the sample matches me like 99% I mean work experience, certifications etc so it was easy for me to follow.. so take my opinion with a grain of salt:

1) All of the sample resumes start with experience yours starts with Education is their a reason for that? Plus your education section looks weird, it sorta looks like a header :?

2) Travel as a separate heading? If its a hobby then it should be under the Personal/Interest section IMHO

Hope my 0.02cents was helpful, Happy New Year :D

muzzy
Posts: 488
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2013 9:01 pm

Re: Resume feedback

Postby muzzy » Tue Dec 31, 2013 4:19 pm

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Last edited by muzzy on Mon Jan 06, 2014 1:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

UnderrateOverachieve
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Re: Resume feedback

Postby UnderrateOverachieve » Tue Dec 31, 2013 4:57 pm

I'd hire you.

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sashafierce
Posts: 454
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Re: Resume feedback

Postby sashafierce » Tue Dec 31, 2013 5:22 pm

Honestly, I only looked at the samples (did not read the book) :oops:

The travel section is news to me, I cant understand why someone would recommend listing "travels" on their resumes ( as a separate section), to me it sort of just shows that someone took a plane ride to XXX place in XXX year. Is it supposed to make the applicant appear more interesting? Because I can add a few destinations on my resume if it does :lol:

So I did a TLS search and found this:

MrAdams wrote:The way the sentence is phrased would make it seem so. If you list everything you have ever done it might dilute your resume and therefore draw attention away from more important elements of your resume however. Who knows,.. it would be kind of a bizarre resume segment to just list all the countries you have been to in your life.

I think 'Conducted a hiking expedition in the Andes' would cut it... where as "Went on holiday to the Andes" probably wouldn't.


And the general sentiment in this thread viewtopic.php?f=23&t=188515&start=50 is that the travel section should be under "Interest".

Maybe you can have
Interest Section
Writing-XXX
Travel-China '09 (helped save the whales) Africa '12 (cured cancer) etc

If the info in brackets above is already stated somewhere on your resume then you can leave it out and just put China '09, Africa'12 etc

Again, I did not read the book so it is just a suggestion :)

muzzy
Posts: 488
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2013 9:01 pm

Re: Resume feedback

Postby muzzy » Tue Dec 31, 2013 5:45 pm

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Last edited by muzzy on Mon Jan 06, 2014 1:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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wealtheow
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Re: Resume feedback

Postby wealtheow » Tue Dec 31, 2013 5:54 pm

superficial comment, but i love the way this looks. much more room for descriptions this way. is this really what the samples looked like? it's so different!

muzzy
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Re: Resume feedback

Postby muzzy » Tue Dec 31, 2013 6:04 pm

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Last edited by muzzy on Mon Jan 06, 2014 1:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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oxie
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Re: Resume feedback

Postby oxie » Wed Jan 01, 2014 11:10 am

I would ditch the travel section. I think there's a risk that it comes across as privileged. It's also mostly repetitive and thus seems like filler because you already mention that you were in Qatar, India, and Malawi in your service section.

Other than that, I think this looks pretty good. Some quick thoughts:
-I'd avoid symbols and acronyms (+, GOTV)
-Be careful about repetitive words ("investigation on hydraulic fracturing by investigating"; "alternative income, water management, and alternative energy")
-Try to keep your bullet points to a single phrase rather than separating multiple points with semicolons
-Make sure you're consistent in your style choices (US v U.S., Carnegie Mellon University v CMU, internship (rather than intern) v fellow (rather than fellowship))
-On a couple of these I would think a little more about how to most effectively explain your responsibilities and accomplishments. For example, I think something like "Helped students during weekly office hours" sounds better than "Kept regular weekly office hours." I would also cut out the "distributing materials to Members of Congress" thing and focus on the background research requests you filled.
-Maybe the dates are fudged or something, but I'd wonder how you were a community advisor at CMU while also doing study abroad during Spring 2013
-I'd add some space after the section headings, but that might just be a personal preference

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A. Nony Mouse
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Re: Resume feedback

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Wed Jan 01, 2014 11:47 am

Yeah, I agree that travel to Malawi and Qatar are already in your resume, so don't need to be listed separately; I think it's fine to otherwise list places you've been, though ideally under interests (probably not necessary in an admissions resume, but I think it's useful when you're applying for jobs because it can spark interview conversation).

Anywhere you say "assisted" or "aided", couldn't you just use the verb instead? So instead of "aided in lesson preparation and grading of exams and papers, kept regular office hours," I would put "Prepared lessons, graded exams and papers, and kept regular office hours." I don't think writing it that way implies you are the only person who did those things (especially given that your title is teaching assistant). Similarly, "managed business accounts," "interviewed children's [book] authors," "investigated chemical composition of fracturing fluids" (without the prelude; of course it was for a Congressional investigation, you were interning for the Congress Energy and Commerce Committee), "distributed materials to Members of Congress during Congressional hearings and completed background requests research" [I think you would flip those last 2 words]. If you feel really strongly that this really misrepresents/overstates what you did then don't change it, but reading the resume, I mentally just filter out those words anyway since the meat of what you did is not "assist" or "aid" but the actual work that was done. It just eliminates unnecessary words and makes the language more active.

muzzy
Posts: 488
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2013 9:01 pm

Re: Resume feedback

Postby muzzy » Wed Jan 01, 2014 6:56 pm

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Last edited by muzzy on Mon Jan 06, 2014 1:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

muzzy
Posts: 488
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2013 9:01 pm

Re: Resume feedback

Postby muzzy » Wed Jan 01, 2014 6:58 pm

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Last edited by muzzy on Mon Jan 06, 2014 1:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

muzzy
Posts: 488
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2013 9:01 pm

Re: Resume feedback

Postby muzzy » Wed Jan 01, 2014 6:58 pm

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Last edited by muzzy on Mon Jan 06, 2014 1:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

20141023
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Re: Resume feedback

Postby 20141023 » Wed Jan 01, 2014 8:49 pm

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