BadAsIWantToBreathe wrote:Yes. Now tell me how.
uhhh... if you're serious....
1. if you're still in undergrad never, ever graduate until they literally force you to get your degree. Take the easiest classes you can and get that gpa as high as possible. Once they start the process of making you graduate, put in transfer applications to every school ranked higher than yours in the usnwr undergrad rankings. repeat until you can no longer transfer up or you are forced to graduate, then go on to #2. If you are done with undergrad, go straight to 2.
2. kill the lsat. study until you are getting 180s in your sleep. seriously. don't work, don't have fun, don't have a drink, and tell all your friends you've moved. wake up, study, eat if you have to (steamed salmon and kale), and repeat.
3. If you want a break from this, learn an obscure skill OR get WE that schools can't pass up. Write a bestselling novel, train for the olympics, etc. Here's a good screening process: Are you positive that your novel will be bestselling? if no, don't even try. Are you positive you can win GOLD in the OLYMPICS? if no, don't bother. For any hobbies you might think of picking up, is there a club for people who enjoy your activity in the nearest 500,000+ people metropolis? If yes, it's not obscure enough, so get back to studying. You can get an actual JOB if you want, but keep in mind that the time you spend working will detract from your lsat studying. It's all a balance
4. When you can get 180's on the lsat while sick with the bird flu and bleeding from the head, register for the test. Preferably in feb, and that way, if you get a 179, you can still retake in june. Keep going (waiting those 2 years or whatever it is in between as necessary) until you get a 180.
5. Spend a really, really, really long time on your essays. Hire two different consultants, and ONLY use advice they both agree on. Get those essays polished. They should be bestselling novels in their own right.
6. by now, it could be any time of the year. sit out the cycle as necessary in order to apply to yale the second their apps open, and then apply to harvard and stanford--not as safeties, but so that you can negotiate with yale for your $$$$
7. reapply to yale as necessary until they let you in. I think they like it when you call them a lot to check on your app
8. Get to the top of the class at yale. This means developing a pretty strong tolerance to methamphetamine. if you sleep at all in law school, you're doing it wrong. Trust me. Nobody else is sleeping. They just climb in bed and study under their sheets.
9. Get a biglaw offer. This means not being an idiot in interviews, but the above 8 steps will take a while so you have time, don't worry. Just make sure to get that biglaw offer by whatever means necessary.
10. Once you have secured an associate position, outwork all your coworkers. 80 hour weeks are for wimps who have hobbies and families. look: there are 168 hours in a week. Most people will only work 80. A lesser few will work 120, and some people will work 140. If you want to MAKE SURE you get partner, you'll need to outdo them all. Research shows that out of the 140-hour-a-weekers, you only have a 21.5% chance of making partner. If you can work 160+ hours a week, your odds go up to around 70%. I can't remember where I saw this. I think kappycaft1 posted these numbers just a while ago, he said he saw them in another thread.
11. But don't do crappy work. You need to do good work. This means no reddit, no facebook, just work. The bonus is that you probably won't need an apartment, a car, or meals, so 100% of your pay can go into your bank account. Work until you have enough money in your pocket to be able to check "money" off your list. Now... on to prestige.
12. Obviously, a biglaw associate bitch gig doesn't come with prestige, for that, you'll need to make partner. Follow these steps to the letter, and BAM! You got a 70%+ chance.
But I'm going to let you in on a little secret to boost your chances.
As with anything, the less happy you are, the more money and prestige you'll actually have. Now, you might think that working 160 hours a week, having no friends, no family, and not being able to enjoy your money might make you pretty unhappy, but guess what? There are ALWAYS things that can make you less happy. I've found that kicking children works well for me, or you can try poking your own eye. Or find something that works for you! It only marginally increases your chances, but trust me, ANYTHING you can do for just a little more money or prestige is WELL worth any unhappiness you might have to suffer. If you can find something that can make you completely break down 2-3 times a day, I bet you'll make partner in no time.
That's as good as it get in the real world, my friend. Like anything, some of it is up to dumb luck.
13: enjoy the money and prestige, you biglaw partner!
14. have a heart attack within a few months of making partner, sit in the hospital all by yourself for a few hours reflecting on how unhappy and lonely you are, and then die alone.
OR, you can try option #2.
step 1: find something you love, DO IT BECAUSE YOU LOVE IT, get to be an expert in the field, and let the money and prestige follow naturally.
Step 2: enjoy your life