Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

(Applications Advice, Letters of Recommendation . . . )

Should I ask my professor out?

Poll ended at Thu Oct 31, 2013 3:50 pm

Yes
12
24%
No
39
76%
 
Total votes: 51

ZVBXRPL
Posts: 258
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2012 10:15 pm

Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby ZVBXRPL » Wed Jul 24, 2013 3:50 pm

I have done very well in Professor Y.'s classses and she recently offered to write me a LOR. I feel that due to her busy schedule, it's quite possible she writes a mediocre LOR. I, however, feel that I need to take advantage of this opportunity and get the best LOR possible. So, my idea is to ask her to have dinner with me (on me, of course) so she can give me pre-law advice. Obviously this is to guilt her into spending more time/thought on the LOR. Obviously a stellar LOR neither guarantees nor is necessary to gain admission to a T LS but does asking her to dinner hurt any more than a decline due to time constraint or the $70 dinner tab? I feel like this is +EV. Am I incorrect?

Should I ask her to dinner for "advice"?

P.S. I was thinking of titling this thread: "Should I ask my professor out?" but I realized I am not Yahoo News.
EDIT 8/2: I posted.the following a few days ago but feel that it belongs at the head of thread:
In retrospect and without qualification, asking a teacher to dinner is rude and not my place. When I created this thread I didnt think it was necessary to qualify my question with (extra) background information. However, in light of the overwhelming majority, here it is:A few months ago, Professor Y. offered me an internship with a circuit court judge she knows and suggested we meet the judge at a restaurant. The meeting never took place because I turned down her offer due to other obligations this summer. To be clear, I am not (exactly) suggesting a rain check on a one time offer for dinner. I am, however, looking for an opportunity to give her more of a reason to write a stellar LOR. Ultimately, I am curious with what I can get away with...perhaps at my detriment. I will probably schedule a meeting in school during office hours...like a normal person.
Last edited by ZVBXRPL on Fri Aug 02, 2013 5:23 pm, edited 2 times in total.

User avatar
rinkrat19
Posts: 13915
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 5:35 am

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby rinkrat19 » Wed Jul 24, 2013 3:53 pm

No, absolutely not. That is weird and awkward.

A professor can write a perfectly fine LOR in like 5 minutes flat. It's part of their job. Time is not the factor limiting LOR quality; it's interest, and since she offered to write one for you, she has sufficient interest to make it not suck.

User avatar
guano
Posts: 2268
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2013 9:49 am

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby guano » Wed Jul 24, 2013 3:55 pm

Ask her out. Bring flowers. Report back how it went

User avatar
ManoftheHour
Posts: 3401
Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:03 pm

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby ManoftheHour » Wed Jul 24, 2013 3:57 pm

Is she hot?

User avatar
nickb285
Posts: 1500
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2012 4:25 pm

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby nickb285 » Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:07 pm

ZVBXRPL wrote:Should I ask her to dinner for "advice"?


Putting that in quotes makes it sound like when I invite a lady to my apartment to "watch a movie."

But no. This would be weird, and she's not going to spend any more time/write any better because you bought her dinner (an invitation which she likely would not accept, either because of ethical rules or because it's weird). If she offered to write you a LOR, she's going to put work into it. Don't try to guilt her, it won't make her LOR better and it's kind of a douche move.

politics89
Posts: 377
Joined: Thu Jun 13, 2013 9:50 am

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby politics89 » Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:12 pm

Why don't you just try to set up a meeting to talk to her about it? Or maybe even coffee?

Dinner def comes off as weird

User avatar
guano
Posts: 2268
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2013 9:49 am

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby guano » Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:14 pm

politics89 wrote:Why don't you just try to set up a meeting to talk to her about it? Or maybe even coffee?

Dinner def comes off as weird

This is more appropriate if you need to ask for an LOR
Seriously, she already said she'd do it. Give her a reasonable amount of time, then follow up to ask if she's sent it in yet.

User avatar
Lincoln
Posts: 1029
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:27 pm

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby Lincoln » Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:17 pm

nickb285 wrote:
ZVBXRPL wrote:Should I ask her to dinner for "advice"?


Putting that in quotes makes it sound like when I invite a lady to my apartment to "watch a movie."

But no. This would be weird, and she's not going to spend any more time/write any better because you bought her dinner (an invitation which she likely would not accept, either because of ethical rules or because it's weird). If she offered to write you a LOR, she's going to put work into it. Don't try to guilt her, it won't make her LOR better and it's kind of a douche move.


I usually go with asking if she wants to "see my stamp collection."

JJ123
Posts: 180
Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2013 11:40 am

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby JJ123 » Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:21 pm

Lunch. Definitely lunch. Dinner is completely different.

User avatar
Balthy
Posts: 668
Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2010 12:28 pm

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby Balthy » Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:24 pm

I agree, lunch or coffee on campus would be better. You shouldn't just ask for advice but briefly explain your general admissions strategy, possible weaknesses, etc. and offer to help with any refresher info if she needs it. A professor I'm pretty cool with once discussed LOR situations quite candidly with me and said that this sort of info really helps. Bring her a copy of your PS and resume if you can too.

ZVBXRPL
Posts: 258
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2012 10:15 pm

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby ZVBXRPL » Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:25 pm

Awkward? No. Wierd? Possibly.
I guess lunch is a possibility but she's pretty busy and the consensus here is: HELL NO.

User avatar
crestor
Posts: 324
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2013 5:37 am

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby crestor » Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:31 pm

OP that is creepy

User avatar
A. Nony Mouse
Posts: 22827
Joined: Tue Sep 25, 2012 11:51 am

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:32 pm

I just assumed the question wasn't for real, but if it was, no, do not ask your prof out to dinner. Either you do just want advice, in which case make an appointment for office hours, or you want to bribe her to write you a good letter, in which case your motives are transparent and it looks bad.

Alternately: film yourself asking her to dinner and her reaction.

User avatar
Nightrunner
Posts: 5345
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 1:14 am

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby Nightrunner » Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:34 pm

For the record, I think this is infinitely less ludicrous (entering the field of viability, even) if you change it to a cup of coffee.

User avatar
nickb285
Posts: 1500
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2012 4:25 pm

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby nickb285 » Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:37 pm

Lincoln wrote:
nickb285 wrote:
ZVBXRPL wrote:Should I ask her to dinner for "advice"?


Putting that in quotes makes it sound like when I invite a lady to my apartment to "watch a movie."


I usually go with asking if she wants to "see my stamp collection."


Does that work? Are there a bunch of philandering philatelists who get all hot and bothered at your Dag Hammarskjöld invert?

Nightrunner wrote:For the record, I think this is infinitely less ludicrous (entering the field of viability, even) if you change it to a cup of coffee.


Actually I agree, particularly if the coffee shop is on/right next to campus. Still though, I think the motivation--the idea that you're somehow going to guilt her into writing a better LOR--is both absurd and insulting.

BFrankBYangC
Posts: 71
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2013 6:46 pm

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby BFrankBYangC » Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:44 pm

Nominated for worst idea 2013. Generally if you're on the fence about a social interaction such that you have to make a poll about it the answer is "no, don't do that."

itachiuchiha
Posts: 907
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2012 9:59 pm

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby itachiuchiha » Wed Jul 24, 2013 5:18 pm

ManoftheHour wrote:Is she hot?

User avatar
Lincoln
Posts: 1029
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:27 pm

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby Lincoln » Wed Jul 24, 2013 5:40 pm

nickb285 wrote:
Lincoln wrote:I usually go with asking if she wants to "see my stamp collection."


Does that work? Are there a bunch of philandering philatelists who get all hot and bothered at your Dag Hammarskjöld invert?


It works, but only because everyone knows that it's an invitation to do the dirty. Cause who the hell has a stamp collection!?

User avatar
nickb285
Posts: 1500
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2012 4:25 pm

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby nickb285 » Wed Jul 24, 2013 5:49 pm

Lincoln wrote:
nickb285 wrote:
Lincoln wrote:I usually go with asking if she wants to "see my stamp collection."


Does that work? Are there a bunch of philandering philatelists who get all hot and bothered at your Dag Hammarskjöld invert?


It works, but only because everyone knows that it's an invitation to do the dirty. Cause who the hell has a stamp collection!?


I'm now waiting for the day when you find yourself having to spend several hours pretending to be interested in a woman's stamp collection, your slowly wilting manhood compromised by the sight of hundreds of meticulously organized plastic sleeves.

User avatar
hephaestus
Posts: 2385
Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2013 4:21 pm

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby hephaestus » Wed Jul 24, 2013 5:50 pm

Just go to their office hours?

User avatar
Lincoln
Posts: 1029
Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:27 pm

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby Lincoln » Wed Jul 24, 2013 5:59 pm

nickb285 wrote:
Lincoln wrote:
nickb285 wrote:
Lincoln wrote:I usually go with asking if she wants to "see my stamp collection."


Does that work? Are there a bunch of philandering philatelists who get all hot and bothered at your Dag Hammarskjöld invert?


It works, but only because everyone knows that it's an invitation to do the dirty. Cause who the hell has a stamp collection!?


I'm now waiting for the day when you find yourself having to spend several hours pretending to be interested in a woman's stamp collection, your slowly wilting manhood compromised by the sight of hundreds of meticulously organized plastic sleeves.


I don't get invited often enough to where this is likely to happen.

UMich11
Posts: 409
Joined: Thu Apr 12, 2012 8:34 pm

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby UMich11 » Wed Jul 24, 2013 6:17 pm

Unless you're close with them, don't do dinner. Lunch might be a decent option, or simply coffee. But office hours is there for a reason and you can always just walk up and ask for one. I was very good friends, i guess you could say, with a prof, but he also rowed out of the same boathouse as my school's team so i got to know him well. him and i just grabbed Chipotle one day and i asked then, he had no issue as long as i bough lunch (not sure if he was joking or not so i bought lunch).

User avatar
NYC2012
Posts: 224
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 3:47 am

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby NYC2012 » Wed Jul 24, 2013 6:20 pm

BFrankBYangC wrote:Nominated for worst idea 2013. Generally if you're on the fence about a social interaction such that you have to make a poll about it the answer is "no, don't do that."


+1. I lol'd.

mr.hands
Posts: 892
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2012 4:23 pm

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby mr.hands » Wed Jul 24, 2013 7:31 pm

crestor wrote:OP that is creepy

User avatar
dr123
Posts: 3503
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:38 am

Re: Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR?

Postby dr123 » Wed Jul 24, 2013 7:32 pm

No and she would probably decline




Return to “Law School Admissions Forum”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Baidu [Spider] and 12 guests