.

(Applications Advice, Letters of Recommendation . . . )
bananapeanutbutter
Posts: 351
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:12 pm

Re: Criminal Addendum - Please Critique

Postby bananapeanutbutter » Mon Jul 22, 2013 5:12 pm

jshaffer740 wrote:
bananapeanutbutter wrote:
jshaffer740 wrote:
Ded Precedent wrote:Did you even end up getting to eat the burrito?


Nope. I left with a bloodied up face, gashes to my arm from falling, but no burrito. I have no idea what became of it.

Did you get a broken nose or anything? I don't understand why they charged you..... or why you didn't sue the place. I also don't understand how the employee randomly hit you over a bag of food that cost them maybe 5 dollars to make. Violence seems like an extreme response.


It was very extreme - but no broken nose. Also, as mentioned previously he was very intoxicated and already agitated by the crowd.

There were photos of my bloodied face, but we couldn't prove that a punch didn't take place *after* I took out the knife outside, as unfortunately there was no record of the events inside (no video footage), so it was my word vs. his. The only thing the police saw was a random kid (me) outside with a pocket knife out in a group of people that were likely not involved in the initial fight. So that's what they put in the police report. They never interviewed anyone from inside, where it started (those people likely left as soon as the fight broke out), and so none of that made it into the arrest record.

In retrospect I probably could have taken it to a trial, and had a good chance at prevailing. But at the time my father was sick with terminal cancer, and in my college-aged mind the thing I wanted most was for it to simply be over and not prolong it.

In retrospect, your friends should have called the police if they wanted to defend you, stop people inside from leaving before the cops arrive, taken testimony and helped you get the free burritos for life that you deserve.

At no point ever should the customer get their face fucking bloodied. That should not enter the question of burrito ordering. If you're going to get fat, you might as well keep your face pretty.

jshaffer740
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2013 8:48 am

Re: Criminal Addendum - Please Critique

Postby jshaffer740 » Mon Jul 22, 2013 7:14 pm

Current form based on all comments thus far:

Criminal Addendum
In the early morning of January, XX, 2012, in XX, XX, I was waiting in line for food I had ordered and paid for from a crowded local restaurant after an evening out at bars with friends. I picked up my food from the counter and turned to leave, believing the food was mine. However an employee believed I had taken the wrong order and not paid. The employee came towards me as I was turning and punched the left side of my face. After falling to the ground and receiving another hit to the face, I exited the restaurant. Outside, believing I was still pursued, I removed a small pocket knife I had with me, hoping this would intimidate my pursuer enough to end the fight. I then put the knife away. The local police had been called when the fight started, and had since arrived. As a result of displaying the pocket knife, I was charged with two counts of aggravated menacing (misdemeanor) and one count of disorderly conduct (minor misdemeanor). In accordance with a plea deal, I plead guilty to one charge of aggravated menacing, in exchange for the dismissal of all other charges. I was given a fine of $250, with all other sentences suspended for one year subject to continued lawful behavior.

University Probation Addendum
University X was also notified of this event. After discussing the event with me and reviewing it, The Office of Community Standards put me in probationary period, directed me to complete 10 hours of community service, and to attend two counseling sessions so as to learn from the event.

Conclusion
I take full responsibility for all of the actions indicated above. The above event is not indicative of my overall character, as evidenced by my lack of any prior and subsequent criminal history. Additionally, the conviction was expunged from my record in July 2013, due to my lack of prior history and subsequent lawful behavior. I have since successfully obtained my CPA license in the State of XX, and obtained full-time employment with (Insert Big 4 Accounting Firm), both of which required a thorough background investigation.

I have also learned and grown from this event. Through counseling I learned more about myself, and how to responsibly have fun with friends, without going overboard. A contributing factor to this event was alcohol consumption, and as a result of this I began limiting alcohol consumption to no more than two drinks on a given day or outing. As a result of the community service participation, I was able to prepare and serve food to impoverished members of the community, which enlightened me to many of the needs of this underserved population. While it is certainly an occurrence I regret, I was able to learn from it, and improve myself as a result.

criminaltheory
Posts: 147
Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2012 5:48 pm

Re: Criminal Addendum - Please Critique

Postby criminaltheory » Tue Jul 23, 2013 9:50 am

jshaffer740 wrote:Current form based on all comments thus far:

Criminal Addendum
In the early morning of January, XX, 2012, in XX, XX, I was waiting in line for food I had ordered and paid for from a crowded local restaurant after an evening out at bars with friends. I picked up my food from the counter and turned to leave, believing the food was mine. However an employee believed I had taken the wrong order and not paid. The employee came towards me as I was turning and punched the left side of my face. After falling to the ground and receiving another hit to the face, I exited the restaurant. Outside, believing I was still pursued, I removed a small pocket knife I had with me, hoping this would intimidate my pursuer enough to end the fight. I then put the knife away. The local police had been called when the fight started, and had since arrived. As a result of displaying the pocket knife, I was charged with two counts of aggravated menacing (misdemeanor) and one count of disorderly conduct (minor misdemeanor). In accordance with a plea deal, I plead guilty to one charge of aggravated menacing, in exchange for the dismissal of all other charges. I was given a fine of $250, with all other sentences suspended for one year subject to continued lawful behavior.

University Probation Addendum
University X was also notified of this event. After discussing the event with me and reviewing it, The Office of Community Standards put me in probationary period, directed me to complete 10 hours of community service, and to attend two counseling sessions so as to learn from the event.

Conclusion
I take full responsibility for all of the actions indicated above. The above event is not indicative of my overall character, as evidenced by my lack of any prior and subsequent criminal history. Additionally, the conviction was expunged from my record in July 2013, due to my lack of prior history and subsequent lawful behavior. I have since successfully obtained my CPA license in the State of XX, and obtained full-time employment with (Insert Big 4 Accounting Firm), both of which required a thorough background investigation.

I have also learned and grown from this event. Through counseling I learned more about myself, and how to responsibly have fun with friends, without going overboard. A contributing factor to this event was alcohol consumption, and as a result of this I began limiting alcohol consumption to no more than two drinks on a given day or outing. As a result of the community service participation, I was able to prepare and serve food to impoverished members of the community, which enlightened me to many of the needs of this underserved population. While it is certainly an occurrence I regret, I was able to learn from it, and improve myself as a result.



Ditch the alcohol reference at the end.

It's just thrown in there, and since the disclosure is already rather detailed I was surprised it had been left out in the description of what happened. Definitely made me do a doubletake and put the events in a new light. If you were fearing you were still being pursued, that might've been a misjudgement but the surreal-ness of the event (getting attacked by a foodservice employee for taking your food) at least makes the knife draw somewhat reasonable. Once you're like "Oh yeah, and I was wasted," my mood totally changes.

Also, how much you drink when you go out doesn't tell us much if you don't say how often you go out. Overshare/totally unnecessary.

Your self-realization should be something about removing yourself fully from a violent situation so you can try to understand what is going on when a really tough and burly dude attacks you for no apparent reason, etc., etc.

jshaffer740
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2013 8:48 am

Re: Criminal Addendum - Please Critique

Postby jshaffer740 » Tue Jul 23, 2013 10:04 am

criminaltheory wrote:
jshaffer740 wrote:Current form based on all comments thus far:

Criminal Addendum
In the early morning of January, XX, 2012, in XX, XX, I was waiting in line for food I had ordered and paid for from a crowded local restaurant after an evening out at bars with friends. I picked up my food from the counter and turned to leave, believing the food was mine. However an employee believed I had taken the wrong order and not paid. The employee came towards me as I was turning and punched the left side of my face. After falling to the ground and receiving another hit to the face, I exited the restaurant. Outside, believing I was still pursued, I removed a small pocket knife I had with me, hoping this would intimidate my pursuer enough to end the fight. I then put the knife away. The local police had been called when the fight started, and had since arrived. As a result of displaying the pocket knife, I was charged with two counts of aggravated menacing (misdemeanor) and one count of disorderly conduct (minor misdemeanor). In accordance with a plea deal, I plead guilty to one charge of aggravated menacing, in exchange for the dismissal of all other charges. I was given a fine of $250, with all other sentences suspended for one year subject to continued lawful behavior.

University Probation Addendum
University X was also notified of this event. After discussing the event with me and reviewing it, The Office of Community Standards put me in probationary period, directed me to complete 10 hours of community service, and to attend two counseling sessions so as to learn from the event.

Conclusion
I take full responsibility for all of the actions indicated above. The above event is not indicative of my overall character, as evidenced by my lack of any prior and subsequent criminal history. Additionally, the conviction was expunged from my record in July 2013, due to my lack of prior history and subsequent lawful behavior. I have since successfully obtained my CPA license in the State of XX, and obtained full-time employment with (Insert Big 4 Accounting Firm), both of which required a thorough background investigation.

I have also learned and grown from this event. Through counseling I learned more about myself, and how to responsibly have fun with friends, without going overboard. A contributing factor to this event was alcohol consumption, and as a result of this I began limiting alcohol consumption to no more than two drinks on a given day or outing. As a result of the community service participation, I was able to prepare and serve food to impoverished members of the community, which enlightened me to many of the needs of this underserved population. While it is certainly an occurrence I regret, I was able to learn from it, and improve myself as a result.



Ditch the alcohol reference at the end.

It's just thrown in there, and since the disclosure is already rather detailed I was surprised it had been left out in the description of what happened. Definitely made me do a doubletake and put the events in a new light. If you were fearing you were still being pursued, that might've been a misjudgement but the surreal-ness of the event (getting attacked by a foodservice employee for taking your food) at least makes the knife draw somewhat reasonable. Once you're like "Oh yeah, and I was wasted," my mood totally changes.

Also, how much you drink when you go out doesn't tell us much if you don't say how often you go out. Overshare/totally unnecessary.

Your self-realization should be something about removing yourself fully from a violent situation so you can try to understand what is going on when a really tough and burly dude attacks you for no apparent reason, etc., etc.


Thank you for your comments. What are your thoughts on this:

I have also learned and grown from this event. Through the counseling I learned more about myself, and I can properly and intelligently remove myself from this sort of situation, instead of making a quick misjudgment. As a result of my community service participation, I was able to prepare and serve food to impoverished members of the community, which enlightened me to many of the needs of this underserved population. It is an occurrence I truly regret, but I was able to learn from it, and improve myself as a result.

User avatar
txdude45
Posts: 912
Joined: Mon May 21, 2012 6:25 pm

Re: Criminal Addendum - Please Critique

Postby txdude45 » Tue Jul 23, 2013 10:13 am

jshaffer740 wrote:
Thank you for your comments. What are your thoughts on this:

I have also learned and grown from this event. Through the counseling I learned more about myself, and I can properly and intelligently remove myself from this sort of situation, instead of making a quick misjudgment. As a result of my community service participation, I was able to prepare and serve food to impoverished members of the community, which enlightened me to many of the needs of this underserved population. It is an occurrence I truly regret, but I was able to learn from it, and improve myself as a result.


Sound disingenuous. Just drop it.

jshaffer740
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2013 8:48 am

Re: Criminal Addendum - Please Critique

Postby jshaffer740 » Tue Jul 23, 2013 10:33 am

txdude45 wrote:
jshaffer740 wrote:
Thank you for your comments. What are your thoughts on this:

I have also learned and grown from this event. Through the counseling I learned more about myself, and I can properly and intelligently remove myself from this sort of situation, instead of making a quick misjudgment. As a result of my community service participation, I was able to prepare and serve food to impoverished members of the community, which enlightened me to many of the needs of this underserved population. It is an occurrence I truly regret, but I was able to learn from it, and improve myself as a result.


Sound disingenuous. Just drop it.


I agree. Scratched.

Thank you for all of the help, I really appreciate it.

Mista Bojangles
Posts: 243
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:33 pm

Re: Criminal Addendum - Please Critique

Postby Mista Bojangles » Thu Jul 25, 2013 6:46 am

lol this sounds like it was at Freebirds at UCSB

sighsigh
Posts: 263
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 8:47 pm

Re: Criminal Addendum - Please Critique

Postby sighsigh » Fri Jul 26, 2013 10:37 am

The thing that stands out as odd to me when I read it is the fact that you were carrying around a pocket knife. May I ask why? Presumably it wasn't in case of self-defense. I would give an innocent reason as to why you were carrying it around.

User avatar
nickb285
Posts: 1500
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2012 4:25 pm

Re: Criminal Addendum - Please Critique

Postby nickb285 » Fri Jul 26, 2013 10:58 am

sighsigh wrote:The thing that stands out as odd to me when I read it is the fact that you were carrying around a pocket knife. May I ask why? Presumably it wasn't in case of self-defense. I would give an innocent reason as to why you were carrying it around.


Carrying a pocketknife isn't unusual. I have one on me, as do most of my friends (higher percentage of the males, but plenty of the females too). They're a handy thing to have.

jshaffer740
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2013 8:48 am

Re: Criminal Addendum - Please Critique

Postby jshaffer740 » Fri Jul 26, 2013 1:32 pm

nickb285 wrote:
sighsigh wrote:The thing that stands out as odd to me when I read it is the fact that you were carrying around a pocket knife. May I ask why? Presumably it wasn't in case of self-defense. I would give an innocent reason as to why you were carrying it around.


Carrying a pocketknife isn't unusual. I have one on me, as do most of my friends (higher percentage of the males, but plenty of the females too). They're a handy thing to have.


Exactly. I have added the following sentence: "...I removed a small pocket knife which I carried for small utility tasks...

Let me know if this helps clarify.




Return to “Law School Admissions Forum”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Dodocogon, sakanaya, Yahoo [Bot] and 5 guests