moshei24 wrote: PRgradBYU wrote:
NonLawSchooler wrote:Here is an email that a prospective student, who believed that he/she was being yield protected by his/her own university, is thinking of sending an admissions officer. [The student's Lsat scores/GPA are 165, 170/3.49, and the school's 75th for LSAT/GPA are 165, 3.67] He/She is looking for some advice on how to improve the email and what your general thoughts are etc. I am not a past, present or future law student so I was not able to advise the student very well, but I had heard of this forum before. Any advice is welcome. Thanks.
"Dear [Admissions Officer],
I hope all is well.
Exactly four weeks ago I received an email from [Law School] informing me that they were unable to act on my application, and that I was put on hold. (Before I continue, I want to apologize if anything I write sounds in any way rude, as it is not my intention.) That email didn't really make sense to me given my numbers and given the fact that I'm a [University] alumnus who was very involved in leadership programs and groups while in their undergraduate program. After speaking to [University Representatives] (I tried to speak to [Law School representatives] to no avail), I found out that [Law School] had run out of scholarship money, and for that reason put me on hold. I was also told that I could be admitted and attend [Law School] without scholarship money, if I so desired. As you might understand, that would not be an intelligent decision on my part.
This whole series of events really tainted the [University] name for me. Being put on hold really felt like a slap in the face, especially after I had waited an extremely long period time to hear back from [Law School]. Even given all of these events, I would still consider attending [Law School]. At this point, I have placed deposits at [School A] and [School B] , two schools that have offered me generous scholarships. [School A] : $25K a year, and [School B]: $45K a year. If [Law School] is in the position to make me an offer this week, I would be happy to consider it, and hopefully be able to continue my stay under the [University] umbrella.
If you would like to discuss any of this over the phone, I would be happy to do so.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
A "prospective student" wrote this? You're not fooling anyone. This email makes you sound like a pompous prick with an unwarranted sense of entitlement.
I don't want to fool anyone. This is an email that I wrote. The person who posted this happens to be a 1L at a top school. We made a bet. He won.
Well someone is lying. I think you posted both seeing if you would get different responses (1 says "a friend of mine is seeking advice on an email s/he wants to send" and the other says "How cool do you guys think I am for this shit email I sent to adcomms"). both posts were weds night 3 hours apart. you originally said in the 2nd 1 pretty much the same thing you posted as NonLawSchooler: that you were seeking advice/feedback on the email before sending it (but you edited that to say you sent it and just wanted opinions).
BTW the first post says:
NonLawSchooler wrote: am not a past, present or future law student so I was not able to advise the student very well
and you keep saying it's a current law student. make up your mind or do you want to go back and edit that 1 too?