UCLA Programmatic Contribution

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karmaman
Posts: 106
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2012 1:21 am

UCLA Programmatic Contribution

Postby karmaman » Thu Dec 20, 2012 10:04 pm

Does anyone mind reading a programmatic contribution essay and letting me know that they think? I'm hoping to get involved with the International and Comparative Law Program. PM me, any help would be awesome!

karmaman
Posts: 106
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2012 1:21 am

Re: UCLA Programmatic Contribution

Postby karmaman » Thu Dec 20, 2012 10:24 pm

Here it is...any feedback would be great!

If admitted to the ________ School of Law, I plan on being heavily involved in the International and Comparative Law Program. As someone who has traveled extensively throughout Europe, South America, Asia and the Middle East, I have engaged with a wide variety of cultures. Through my travels, I have noticed vast discrepancies in the laws and protections afforded to the citizens of these various lands. For example, take a walk through the favelas, shantytowns, in Brazil and you see a community distinct and segregated from the rest of the country. The residents of these urban areas are denied access to any state sponsored services or aid, thus they are relegated to continue on with their lives stricken with poverty and violence. Although they are native Brazilians, these people are treated like second-class citizens, dehumanized by their own governments who refuse to acknowledge their existence. Look to the other side of the world and we see episodes of violence that are justified by the Islamic Sharia Law.
It is dire situations, such as the ones in Brazil and undoubtedly in countries across the globe, that propels me to participate in this particular program. My ability to communicate in another language, Arabic, specifically lends itself to further explore International Law within the sphere of the Middle East. However, it is my global experiences that provide me with the nesescary skills and background to thrive in this specific program. I plan on utilizing all the knowledge and experiences amassed by the world class faculty to prepare me for long and successful career in International Law. In particular, I am quite interested in working alongside Professor_____, in an effort to educate myself in the sensitive topic of Middle Eastern Law. With her assistance, I hope to fully understand and analyze the potential consequences and outcomes of the recent Arab revolutions within the context of Middle Eastern Law.

BigZuck
Posts: 10853
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2012 9:53 am

Re: UCLA Programmatic Contribution

Postby BigZuck » Fri Dec 21, 2012 12:48 am

I think it is too wordy, especially the expositions of the shantytowns and what not (basically the whole middle part). There are some typos/misspellings. Also, TLS wisdom says international law doesn't really exist for all intents and purposes and a school as low ranked as UCLA will not get you a job in this field.

Overall I think it's fine if you can cut it down and focus more on your specific contribution to UCLA rather than painting a picture of what you think international law is.

karmaman
Posts: 106
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2012 1:21 am

Re: UCLA Programmatic Contribution

Postby karmaman » Fri Dec 21, 2012 3:51 am

Thank BigZuck, yea it was a rough draft so I'm definitely going to try and cut out the fat. As far as the specific contribution that I can bring, was it not sufficient to speak of my experience with the language and culture to kind of hint that I could relate in a way to a specific portion of International Law? And sorry I'm a newby here, what do you mean international law does not exist?

bp shinners
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 7:05 pm

Re: UCLA Programmatic Contribution

Postby bp shinners » Fri Dec 21, 2012 10:28 am

karmaman wrote: And sorry I'm a newby here, what do you mean international law does not exist?


Saying you want to practice international law is essentially like saying you want to be a professional sports guy.
1) I have no clue what you actually want to do, since that could mean a million different things. "International law" is a generic thing that's not really a subset of law that people practice - they might do corporate law for multinationals, or they might work with a program that works within the legal system of a different country, or they might...
2) What most people who want to practice international law think of as their career path (some type of international policy work) is a path on which an exceedingly small percent of those who will be lawyers will travel (because there aren't many positions and they're extremely prestigious/hard to get). And they mostly come from the top few law schools, and they don't get to do what most think of when they say international law until well into their careers. Just like a professional athlete.




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