- • He is one of the two professors I built something resembling a relationship with because I'm fucking awkward.
• I'm a splitter, so LORs almost matter in my case.
• I can't have only one LOR.
• He actually has things to say that shine a different and valuable light on me than do other parts of my application.
• It's late in the process.
• I put a ton of work "grooming" (for lack of a better word) this LOR over the year I knew him before I asked for an LOR.
• He has never indicated in his tone or otherwise that he was anything other than happy to write this LOR.
Here's why I don't have it yet:
- • I asked for the LOR in early June and have been strung along since then -- he'd go dark for several weeks and then ask for additional information (like rough drafts of my papers that he'd written on, obscure stuff like that, all of which I immediately provided) when I'd send my monthly reminder e-mail.
• In our most recent exchange, he said that he I hadn't heard anything from him because there had been a death in his family and that he had had to take care of some things. He said that everything was back to normal and that he'd finish the LOR and submit it that night. I sent an e-mail back that said:
• That was on October first, and I haven't heard anything since. Since then, I've wondered if that e-mail might have made it sound like I was cutting him loose. Does it?North wrote:Oh [Prof], I'm so sorry. Really, this should be your last priority. Take all the time you need, I'm already incredibly grateful that you agreed to do it at all. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
I'm very sorry for your loss,
• I'm 85% sure he was going to use the electronic upload system, so, though I did provide him with a stamped, addressed envelope to LSAC, I don't think it's floating around at the post office somewhere.
Here's what I need help with:
- • October scores are about to drop and I had planned to apply immediately after they came out (provided I didn't totally bomb it). Is there any acceptable way to send another reminder e-mail without sounding like an asshole for prodding someone who had a death in the family a month ago?
• Should I give him a clear out (Professor, I understand this is a difficult time for you. If writing this LOR is too much trouble, it would be totally fine if you backed out.)?
• Should I just not send anything?
• Is he trying to tell me that he doesn't want to write it and that I should ask somebody else (note, however, that there is nobody else)?
I can't decide how to handle this. I typed out a whole e-mail and almost sent it, but decided that it would be smarter to ask you guys first.