Edited Forum

[GoingForGold]

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[dextermorgan]

What would he say?

[GoingForGold]

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[PinkCow]

Tell on him. Seriously, you should call his parents. He's clearly acting like a man child, and man children usually respond to mommy and daddy.

In other news, I believe the "don't stick your sexual organ in crazy" axiom applies here.

[ben4847]

1. It would make no difference; they would hang up on him. They don't have time to deal with some idiot's idiot ex.

2. Offer him money to not call. Then give him some. Then call the police.

[dextermorgan]

Gave him an STD, cheated, stole, whatever. Just as much as he could make up to paint a negative picture I guess. And like they say, what is seen can't be unseen. Lol. I just got an e-mail referencing this and I am freaking out.

Um, yeah. No one will give a shit about any of that.

[dingbat]

Gave him an STD, cheated, stole, whatever. Just as much as he could make up to paint a negative picture I guess. And like they say, what is seen can't be unseen. Lol. I just got an e-mail referencing this and I am freaking out.

Let it be known that you will bring up slander and/or libel charges against him.
Depending on your state, his threatening is enough to bring up harrasment or stalking charges.

If you think he might do this for real, call the cops and show them the email
(at the very least, getting a stern talking to from the police will make him think twice about any further action)

edit: and no, they probably won't charge him right off the bat, so you don't risk ruining his life for something that may be trivial. But you will have a record to fall back on if he even thinks about going further. And as HoneyBadger wrote, keep a copy of everything.

[Honey_Badger]

.

[The Duck]

Gave him an STD, cheated, stole, whatever. Just as much as he could make up to paint a negative picture I guess. And like they say, what is seen can't be unseen. Lol. I just got an e-mail referencing this and I am freaking out.

Let it be known that you will bring up slander and/or libel charges against him.
Depending on your state, his threatening is enough to bring up harrasment or stalking charges.

If you think he might do this for real, call the cops and show them the email
(at the very least, getting a stern talking to from the police will make him think twice about any further action)

They will not get involved with this. This is a purely civil matter at this point. It's not extortion as described. Nor does the threat qualify as stalking. Nor is one threat sufficient to constitute harassment...you need a knowing pattern over a period of time. (Can you imagine the number of criminal cases if it every threat was harassment?)

You can threaten to sue for slander/libel but that's unlikely to have much force. And good luck proving your damages.

Fortunately, I doubt any school would care. They'd just assume he was crazy and lying. Nor would they want to get in the middle of this. Does he even know where you're applying?

If you want to really mess with him, stop communicating and act like it doesn't bother you. Tell him to do it if he wants to...it won't have any effect and he's just wasting his time. You start talking lawsuits, calling the police, or negotiating with him and you've validated his plan...he's gotten a reaction from you.

Edit: Absolutely do not include an addendum. That makes you sound like the crazy one. If he contacts them he contacts them, they won't care or listen to him.

[dingbat]

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[Honey_Badger]

In all fairness, neither did calling the cops (twice), but that's because generally when a man is stalked by a woman it isn't taken half as seriously and the detective brushed it off.

Did they not see Fatal Attraction?

ETA: If the email was received via work email, you might have a little help.

[The Duck]

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Its not because you're a guy, it's because stalking is very hard to prove. I've investigated dozens of these and we only ever made out one case...and he got off. We turned away dozens more because its much more effective for you to swear out a restraining order and then bust her for violating the order. It's just way too much he said/she said...without third party validation (which your work was) its just your word against hers. Even when we could make out a stalking charge, its more effective to turn the evidence over to the victim for them to obtain a restraining order. We're just acting as an independent verifier of the info for the magistrate. Nor does remote communications qualify as stalking in most states...the person must show up, repeatedly, in person.

Also, you're a victim of people abusing the process (like it is suggested to do here). OPs situation isn't criminal and yet people are advocating for them calling the cops. Do you have any idea how many stalking complaints are lodged after people break up? And an infinitesimal # of those are truly stalking.

[dingbat]

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[dingbat]

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[The Duck]

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That wouldn't qualify as a "course of conduct" in most states because the time period is too short. Additionally, the "course of conduct" period doesn't even start until she has been informed to stop...and that has to be documented and proven in some way that a jury would believe. It would, however, be more than sufficient for a restraining order.

We didn't even consider getting involved in stalking investigations unless there was some reasonable likelihood of physical danger. Otherwise, your remedy is with the civil courts. I know cops in dozens of jurisdictions across the US and this is their view as well.

Any large city gets about 3-5 of these calls a night. It doesn't rise to the level of criminal intervention. If it did, half the teenage girls in the US would end up with criminal stalking charges. Resources are just too scarce. You're always welcome to package this evidence yourself and take it to the prosecutor. (In fact, many people hire lawyers to do just this...and it is where most stalking cases originate from.) Nothing says it must originate at the police...the police are more focused on allocating their resources to immediate threats and more important investigations.

This is one of those situations, like OPs, where it feels really important to you. But when compared with everything else going on and viewed more objectively...it's not that important.

[IAFG]

It would make no difference; they would hang up on him. They don't have time to deal with some idiot's idiot ex.

This and also, it's probably happened many times before with no fucks being given by the school.

[The Duck]

2. Offer him money to not call. Then give him some. Then call the police.

How would that turn this into a criminal case? For it to be extortion, he has to initiate the communication regarding payment. People pay people not to do stuff all the time.

You could, of course, lie and say he asked for the money. But you could do that now without giving him the money.

[ben4847]

2. Offer him money to not call. Then give him some. Then call the police.

How would that turn this into a criminal case? For it to be extortion, he has to initiate the communication regarding payment. People pay people not to do stuff all the time.

You could, of course, lie and say he asked for the money. But you could do that now without giving him the money.

yeah, you're right.

I guess maybe get him to ask for something in return for silence without offering.

[mathrev]

All we know is that he claims that She gave him an std and had cheated on him. Depending on how it all unfolded, and if true, it could be seen as a serious character flaw. Cheating is one thing, but practicing unsafe sex with others in a monogamous relationship, especially if practiced in secret, is unfair to the the one being cheated on. If he can prove she was negligent (perhaps something else) in some way he can sue her for giving him an std. It would be worse if she knew she had the std and had infected her boyfriend. Let's hope this isn't a serious std, as this could even be criminalized. For example, many states criminalize hiv infection. --LinkRemoved--))/mileg.aspx?page=GetObject&objectname=mcl-

Again I don't know all the facts. But if allegations are true, And if she had known of the std and was cheating on her partner, What she did was jeopardize someone's life (most stds have consequences). Again if allegations are true, It also sounds like she wants to move on without wanting to bear the consequences, and she doesnt even sound apologetic to me. I don't know what will come out of this, but for starters id like to hear the full story from her and boyfriend.

[Honey_Badger]

All we know is that he claims that She gave him an std and had cheated on him. Depending on how it all unfolded, and if true, it could be seen as a serious character flaw. Cheating is one thing, but practicing unsafe sex with others in a monogamous relationship, especially if practiced in secret, is unfair to the the one being cheated on. If he can prove she was negligent (perhaps something else) in some way he can sue her for giving him an std. It would be worse if she knew she had the std and had infected her boyfriend. Let's hope this isn't a serious std, as this could even be criminalized. For example, many states criminalize hiv infection. --LinkRemoved--))/mileg.aspx?page=GetObject&objectname=mcl-

Again I don't know all the facts. But if allegations are true, And if she had known of the std and was cheating on her partner, What she did was jeopardize someone's life (most stds have consequences). Again if allegations are true, It also sounds like she wants to move on without wanting to bear the consequences, and she doesnt even sound apologetic to me. I don't know what will come out of this, but for starters id like to hear the full story from her and boyfriend.

Wow. You took this to a whole new level.
And also, scorned.

[mathrev]

All we know is that he claims that She gave him an std and had cheated on him. Depending on how it all unfolded, and if true, it could be seen as a serious character flaw. Cheating is one thing, but practicing unsafe sex with others in a monogamous relationship, especially if practiced in secret, is unfair to the the one being cheated on. If he can prove she was negligent (perhaps something else) in some way he can sue her for giving him an std. It would be worse if she knew she had the std and had infected her boyfriend. Let's hope this isn't a serious std, as this could even be criminalized. For example, many states criminalize hiv infection. --LinkRemoved--))/mileg.aspx?page=GetObject&objectname=mcl-

Again I don't know all the facts. But if allegations are true, And if she had known of the std and was cheating on her partner, What she did was jeopardize someone's life (most stds have consequences). Again if allegations are true, It also sounds like she wants to move on without wanting to bear the consequences, and she doesnt even sound apologetic to me. I don't know what will come out of this, but for starters id like to hear the full story from her and boyfriend.

Wow. You took this to a whole new level.
And also, scorned.

Why would you scorn this? There are a lot ifs here and I'm not about to take the girl's side without knowing more. This can be some serious shit.

[dingbat]

Why would you scorn this? There are a lot ifs here and I'm not about to take the girl's side without knowing more. This can be some serious shit.

How do you know it's a girl?

[justonemoregame]

OP you should ask deans/admis. officers of schools you have not applied to this question directly to get an idea of how schools deal with this. Find the KU and Texas Tech threads on here, or just e-mail some random schools.

[dingbat]

OP you should ask deans/admis. officers of schools you have not applied to this question directly to get an idea of how schools deal with this. Find the KU and Texas Tech threads on here, or just e-mail some random schools.

May I recommend this thread: http://www.top-law-schools.com/forums/v ... 2&t=175385

[Honey_Badger]

Wow. You took this to a whole new level.
And also, scorned.

Why would you scorn this? There are a lot ifs here and I'm not about to take the girl's side without knowing more. This can be some serious shit.

No, I am not scorning your post. You sound scorned. And tense.