Criminal Activity Disclosure - Please help with my wording

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Mr. Elshal
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Criminal Activity Disclosure - Please help with my wording

Postby Mr. Elshal » Thu Sep 20, 2012 11:37 pm

Hi,

This past May, I was caught playing basketball in a park, in Brooklyn, NY, after the park was supposed to be closed. I was handed a summons with a court date. In court, I explained to the judge that I was unaware that the park was supposed to be closed and he gave me an Adjournment in Contemplation of Dismissal, which basically means that as long as I do nothing wrong until around February 10th, 2013, the charge will be expunged from my records.

For almost every school that I am applying to (but not all) I need to include a disclosure addressing this incident. I would really appreciate any help I can get, regarding how to word this. Here's what I currently have:

"I was issued a summons for playing basketball on a public basketball court, at night, on May 15th, 2012. This is considered a misdemeanor in the City of New York. I was granted an Adjournment in Contemplation of Dismissal, with the charge to be expunged from my record in mid-February 2013. This is an isolated incident and is not an accurate representation of my character. I have no convictions, no prior charges, and no other pending charges."

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hookem7
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Re: Criminal Activity Disclosure - Please help with my wording

Postby hookem7 » Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:17 am

.
Last edited by hookem7 on Mon Mar 18, 2013 11:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Mr. Elshal
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Re: Criminal Activity Disclosure - Please help with my wording

Postby Mr. Elshal » Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:29 am

hookem7 wrote:I can't believe they even went through the process of charging you with this, but then again I don't live in Brooklyn, so maybe shady activities go down around that court at night. I wouldn't put anything other than what you have written. It's a BS charge so I wouldn't think a lengthy explanation would be necessary. This shouldn't have any impact on your application, best of luck.


Thank you for the quick response, and for the luck. I really appreciate the feedback. And yes, it is a bit of a BS charge, and it kind of stinks to have gotten it so close to application time, but I guess it's just something that needs to be dealt with.

Ti Malice
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Re: Criminal Activity Disclosure - Please help with my wording

Postby Ti Malice » Fri Sep 21, 2012 12:43 am

Even including the second to last sentence makes this sound like it's something more than it is. You should take it out. This will have exactly zero effect on your cycle.

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Mr. Elshal
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Re: Criminal Activity Disclosure - Please help with my wording

Postby Mr. Elshal » Fri Sep 21, 2012 1:25 am

Ti Malice wrote:Even including the second to last sentence makes this sound like it's something more than it is. You should take it out. This will have exactly zero effect on your cycle.


Thank you Ti Malice. I can see what you mean. It does seem as though I'm saying that despite the seriousness of this, it should not be taken as representative of my character. I have removed that sentence :D

ajr
Posts: 165
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 7:50 pm

Re: Criminal Activity Disclosure - Please help with my wording

Postby ajr » Fri Sep 21, 2012 1:43 am

Mr. Elshal wrote:Hi,

This past May, I was caught playing basketball in a park, in Brooklyn, NY, after the park was supposed to be closed. I was handed a summons with a court date. In court, I explained to the judge that I was unaware that the park was supposed to be closed and he gave me an Adjournment in Contemplation of Dismissal, which basically means that as long as I do nothing wrong until around February 10th, 2013, the charge will be expunged from my records.

For almost every school that I am applying to (but not all) I need to include a disclosure addressing this incident. I would really appreciate any help I can get, regarding how to word this. Here's what I currently have:

"I was issued a summons for playing basketball on a public basketball court, at night, on May 15th, 2012. This is considered a misdemeanor in the City of New York. I was granted an Adjournment in Contemplation of Dismissal, with the charge to be expunged from my record in mid-February 2013. This is an isolated incident and is not an accurate representation of my character. I have no convictions, no prior charges, and no other pending charges."


I would word it more like the first paragraph you wrote, not the third.

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The Platypus
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Re: Criminal Activity Disclosure - Please help with my wording

Postby The Platypus » Fri Sep 21, 2012 1:52 am

ajr wrote: I would word it more like the first paragraph you wrote, not the third.


Agreed.

What about...

"I was issued a summons for playing basketball on a public basketball court after it was closed on May 15th, 2012, a misdemeanor in the City of New York. In court, I explained to the judge that I was unaware that the park was closed. He granted me an Adjournment in Contemplation of Dismissal, with the charge to be expunged from my record in mid-February 2013. I have no convictions, no prior charges, and no other pending charges."

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CalAlumni
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Re: Criminal Activity Disclosure - Please help with my wording

Postby CalAlumni » Fri Sep 21, 2012 2:00 am

The Platypus wrote:
ajr wrote: I would word it more like the first paragraph you wrote, not the third.


Agreed.

What about...

"I was issued a summons for playing basketball on a public basketball court after it was closed on May 15th, 2012, a misdemeanor in the City of New York. In court, I explained to the judge that I was unaware that the park was closed. He granted me an Adjournment in Contemplation of Dismissal, with the charge to be expunged from my record in mid-February 2013. I have no convictions, no prior charges, and no other pending charges."


+1

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Dany
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Re: Criminal Activity Disclosure - Please help with my wording

Postby Dany » Fri Sep 21, 2012 2:12 am

CalAlumni wrote:
The Platypus wrote:
ajr wrote: I would word it more like the first paragraph you wrote, not the third.


Agreed.

What about...

"I was issued a summons for playing basketball on a public basketball court after it was closed on May 15th, 2012, a misdemeanor in the City of New York. In court, I explained to the judge that I was unaware that the park was closed. He granted me an Adjournment in Contemplation of Dismissal, with the charge to be expunged from my record in mid-February 2013. I have no convictions, no prior charges, and no other pending charges."

+1

Move "On May 15th, 2012" to the beginning to make that sentence less clunky.

"On May 15, 2012, I was issued a summons for playing basketball on a public basketball court after it was closed, a misdemeanor in the City of New York."

Other than that it sounds good! I agree with taking out the sentence about your character, because this seems like the most trivial court appearance ever and I'm sure it will have zero effect on your applications.




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