LOR - father in law

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tbird
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LOR - father in law

Postby tbird » Fri Aug 03, 2012 3:22 pm

My father in law is the founding partner of an estate planning law firm now with over 10 attorneys. I have worked for him and with these attorneys for the past 4 years while doing undergrad, and full time during my summers/winters. He graduated from the law school that I will most likely attend. Would it be a bad idea for him to write a letter of recommendation for me? He has a different last name than me, and I generally do not believe there is any way they would be able to figure out that he is my father in law. I think he just looks like my boss to outsiders. I would even argue that he is not my family member, being that there is no blood relation. I have worked pretty much directly for him and with him on a day to day basis for the whole 4 years, so I think he is most qualified to evaluate me and write me a letter. I think it would look better coming from the founding partner with 25+ years of experience rather than one of his associate attorneys with 5 years of experience(another option). Any thoughts?

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06102016
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Re: LOR - father in law

Postby 06102016 » Fri Aug 03, 2012 3:51 pm

..

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patrickd139
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Re: LOR - father in law

Postby patrickd139 » Fri Aug 03, 2012 4:00 pm

I am not 100% confident, but am pretty close to 100% confident, that an adcom is not going to know or care about whether your LOR came from your father-in-law, so long as he is qualified to write the letter (personal knowledge of your ability to do whatever it is he says you can do).

Now, the adcom might care that the letter is written by an employer v. a professor if they have requirements about those types of things.

thederangedwang
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Re: LOR - father in law

Postby thederangedwang » Fri Aug 03, 2012 4:50 pm

patrickd139 wrote:I am not 100% confident, but am pretty close to 100% confident, that an adcom is not going to know or care about whether your LOR came from your father-in-law, so long as he is qualified to write the letter (personal knowledge of your ability to do whatever it is he says you can do).

Now, the adcom might care that the letter is written by an employer v. a professor if they have requirements about those types of things.

basically this

bp shinners
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Re: LOR - father in law

Postby bp shinners » Fri Aug 03, 2012 7:33 pm

tbird wrote:I think it would look better coming from the founding partner with 25+ years of experience rather than one of his associate attorneys with 5 years of experience(another option). Any thoughts?


Have one of the associates write the letter. It won't really sound appreciably better coming from a founding partner with 25+ years experience, and if, by some weird method, they find out you're related (which you are, even if not by blood), then they'll discount it.

The very small benefit of having him write it instead of an associate doesn't outweigh the cost of it coming from a relative, even with the remote chance of that being discovered.

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patrickd139
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Re: LOR - father in law

Postby patrickd139 » Fri Aug 03, 2012 8:06 pm

bp shinners wrote:
tbird wrote:I think it would look better coming from the founding partner with 25+ years of experience rather than one of his associate attorneys with 5 years of experience(another option). Any thoughts?


Have one of the associates write the letter. It won't really sound appreciably better coming from a founding partner with 25+ years experience, and if, by some weird method, they find out you're related (which you are, even if not by blood), then they'll discount it.

The very small benefit of having him write it instead of an associate doesn't outweigh the cost of it coming from a relative, even with the remote chance of that being discovered.

Twist: there is no cost from having it come from a relative.

bp shinners
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Re: LOR - father in law

Postby bp shinners » Sun Aug 05, 2012 2:08 pm

patrickd139 wrote:The very small benefit of having him write it instead of an associate doesn't outweigh the cost of it coming from a relative, even with the remote chance of that being discovered.

Twist: there is no cost from having it come from a relative.[/quote]

We're going to have to agree to disagree, then. I strongly disagree with that statement, and think having a family member write you a LoR demonstrates poor judgment.

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JamMasterJ
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Re: LOR - father in law

Postby JamMasterJ » Sun Aug 05, 2012 2:14 pm

bp shinners wrote:
patrickd139 wrote:The very small benefit of having him write it instead of an associate doesn't outweigh the cost of it coming from a relative, even with the remote chance of that being discovered.

Twist: there is no cost from having it come from a relative.


We're going to have to agree to disagree, then. I strongly disagree with that statement, and think having a family member write you a LoR demonstrates poor judgment.[/quote]
I know of an adcom that said that he'd read an LOR from a kid's mom and that it was in poor taste. Then again, that letter didn't have any professional/educational context.

I'm not sure where the line should be drawn though

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Honey_Badger
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Re: LOR - father in law

Postby Honey_Badger » Mon Aug 06, 2012 7:14 am

bp shinners wrote:
patrickd139 wrote:The very small benefit of having him write it instead of an associate doesn't outweigh the cost of it coming from a relative, even with the remote chance of that being discovered.

Twist: there is no cost from having it come from a relative.


We're going to have to agree to disagree, then. I strongly disagree with that statement, and think having a family member write you a LoR demonstrates poor judgment.[/quote]

I have to agree with bp on this one...if I read the letter and it came out the kid's FIL wrote it, two things would come to mind:

1) he was hiding the relationship (unless it specifically said so in the letter, but based on OP, it sounds like that's not the plan); leads to credibility issue.

2) "His father in the law was the only person he could get to write a letter for him?!?!?" Agree with both posters that letter from another partner or associate would serve just as well, and since he has been there for four years, they should have an excellent handle on his work ethic, goals, etc.

Doubt means don't.

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Favre4Prez
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Re: LOR - father in law

Postby Favre4Prez » Mon Aug 06, 2012 10:50 pm

tbird wrote:My father in law is the founding partner of an estate planning law firm now with over 10 attorneys. I have worked for him and with these attorneys for the past 4 years while doing undergrad, and full time during my summers/winters. He graduated from the law school that I will most likely attend. Would it be a bad idea for him to write a letter of recommendation for me? He has a different last name than me, and I generally do not believe there is any way they would be able to figure out that he is my father in law. I think he just looks like my boss to outsiders. I would even argue that he is not my family member, being that there is no blood relation. I have worked pretty much directly for him and with him on a day to day basis for the whole 4 years, so I think he is most qualified to evaluate me and write me a letter. I think it would look better coming from the founding partner with 25+ years of experience rather than one of his associate attorneys with 5 years of experience(another option). Any thoughts?


Ask yourself, does this really seem okay? I know deep down inside that you know it's not. In fact, it screams nepotism and a complete lack of objectivity, which is what the LOR is ideally supposed to achieve (Although, such a standard is impossible.). GPA and LSAT are big parts of the equation in law school admissions, but I think common sense is a factor that is many times neglected.

bp shinners
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Re: LOR - father in law

Postby bp shinners » Wed Aug 08, 2012 11:22 am

Favre4Prez wrote:In fact, it screams nepotism and a complete lack of objectivity, which is what the LOR is ideally supposed to achieve (Although, such a standard is impossible.).


I would disagree with this statement - I don't think they're supposed to be objective at all. I think the whole point of the LoR is to see if you are able to find two people who will write a gushingly effusive letter about yourself. People who can do that will probably take the extra effort to make connections with their law school professors (which is good for the school).

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emkay625
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Re: LOR - father in law

Postby emkay625 » Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:51 am

You will have to list the name of your spouse when you fill out apps, which might make the relationship easier to be fount out, esp. if she kept her maiden name. (I actually think it might ask for their maiden name....I'm not sure though).

Overall, I'd say don't do this. I'm sure your father-in-law is perfectly well qualified to write you an objective letter, but adcomms don't know that. If for some reason they find out it will seem shady.

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soj
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Re: LOR - father in law

Postby soj » Thu Aug 09, 2012 5:46 am

bp shinners wrote:
tbird wrote:I think it would look better coming from the founding partner with 25+ years of experience rather than one of his associate attorneys with 5 years of experience(another option). Any thoughts?


Have one of the associates write the letter. It won't really sound appreciably better coming from a founding partner with 25+ years experience, and if, by some weird method, they find out you're related (which you are, even if not by blood), then they'll discount it.

The very small benefit of having him write it instead of an associate doesn't outweigh the cost of it coming from a relative, even with the remote chance of that being discovered.

I agree with this.

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Bildungsroman
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Re: LOR - father in law

Postby Bildungsroman » Thu Aug 09, 2012 7:22 am

Don't have a family member (and yes, father-in-law is family) write an LOR.

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sundance95
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Re: LOR - father in law

Postby sundance95 » Thu Aug 09, 2012 7:49 am

These haters are wrong op. Pm me




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