Help: Can Someone Please Critique my Resume?

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TomahawkChopper
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:28 pm

Help: Can Someone Please Critique my Resume?

Postby TomahawkChopper » Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:37 pm

XXXXXXX
XXXX Northxxxx Street futurelawstudent@xxxx.com XXXXXX, XX XXXX7 555-123-4567

Education
Liberal Arts University, Town, XX
Bachelor of Arts May 2011 Major: English

Work Experience
Investment Analyst, XXXXX Capital, City XX June 2011- June 2012
• Preformed fund and market research under the guidance of team leader Xxx Xxxxx.
• Created and modeled efficient frontiers aimed to increase allocation effectiveness.
• Extensively monitored and tracked our model’s asset allocation with a focus on rebalancing overweight portfolios.
• Participated and presented my research to the team in weekly Investment Committee meetings.
• Worked with the other associates to understand clients’ needs and respond in the most efficient and productive manner.

Baseball Operations Intern, (Major League Team) Baseball Club, Major League City, XX Summer 2010

• Evaluated and reported advanced statistics on player performance and expectations.
• Proposed and administered own after brainstorming with team executives.
• Assisted in preparing organization for the 2010 Amateur Draft.

Research Intern, Xxxxxxx Investment Counsel, Big City, XX Summer 2009
• Attended individual client meetings about the status and direction of their current portfolio.
• Researched, analyzed, and presented a report on Genuine Parts Company (GPC) to gain a consensus on their buy/sell status.

Freelance Reporter and Journalist, Xxxxxx Dispatch, Small Place County, XX Fall 2008-2011
• Covered, reported and conducted interviews on local events in Xxxxxx State.
• Developed time management skills and the ability to work under high pressure deadlines.

Student-Athlete Experience

Division 1 Track and Field, Liberal Arts University Fall 2007-Spring 2011
• Served as team captain and received the Excellence Award from Coach Xxx Xxxxxx upon completing a successful season.
• Dedicated 30 hours a week to training, traveling and competing at the highest level possible.
• Ranked in the Top 10 in Liberal Arts University history in three events, medaled at the conference championships, and qualified for the IC4A regional meet.

User avatar
goden
Posts: 2275
Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 12:52 pm

Re: Help: Can Someone Please Critique my Resume?

Postby goden » Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:43 pm

Preformed ==> Performed

bmore
Posts: 302
Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2010 12:28 pm

Re: Help: Can Someone Please Critique my Resume?

Postby bmore » Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:52 pm

Is there a word missing here?

Proposed and administered :?: own after brainstorming with team executives.

TomahawkChopper
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:28 pm

Re: Help: Can Someone Please Critique my Resume?

Postby TomahawkChopper » Thu Jul 26, 2012 4:13 pm

Thanks both of you! Good catches

Yes, there is a word missing. Something along the lines of "original research project."

chewy
Posts: 26
Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2010 2:08 pm

Re: Help: Can Someone Please Critique my Resume?

Postby chewy » Thu Jul 26, 2012 4:22 pm

Include the student athlete experience under your Undergrad info... That is what a former student athlete partner told me

thederangedwang
Posts: 1124
Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:44 pm

Re: Help: Can Someone Please Critique my Resume?

Postby thederangedwang » Thu Jul 26, 2012 6:09 pm

chewy wrote:Include the student athlete experience under your Undergrad info... That is what a former student athlete partner told me

I would add change that heading to something along the lines of athletic and service activities so you could not only put your atheltics in there, but any other groups you are involved in.

shock259
Posts: 1737
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2010 2:30 am

Re: Help: Can Someone Please Critique my Resume?

Postby shock259 » Thu Jul 26, 2012 6:59 pm

Work Experience
Investment Analyst, XXXXX Capital, City XX June 2011- June 2012
• Preformed fund and market research under the guidance of team leader Xxx Xxxxx. (is your team leader necessary to include? Person isn't going to know who it is anyway)
• Created and modeled efficient frontiers aimed to increase allocation effectiveness. (i literally have no idea what this means - can you dumb it down?)
• Extensively monitored and tracked our model’s asset allocation with a focus on rebalancing overweight portfolios. (Take out extensively,
• Participated and presented my research to the team in weekly Investment Committee meetings. ("to the team" is too informal)
• Worked with the other associates to understand clients’ needs and respond in the most efficient and productive manner (this is fluff - be specific)

Baseball Operations Intern, (Major League Team) Baseball Club, Major League City, XX Summer 2010

• Evaluated and reported advanced statistics on player performance and expectations. (is there such a thing as "advanced statistics?" Think just statistics sounds better)
• Proposed and administered own after brainstorming with team executives. (this doesn't make sense - missing a word, I think)
• Assisted in preparing organization for the 2010 Amateur Draft. (more specifics would help - how did you assist?)

Research Intern, Xxxxxxx Investment Counsel, Big City, XX Summer 2009
• Attended individual client meetings about the status and direction of their current portfolio.
• Researched, analyzed, and presented a report on Genuine Parts Company (GPC) to gain a consensus on their buy/sell status. (I'd switch the order of these two since this one is much stronger than the first one - also don't mention the specific company you researched)

Freelance Reporter and Journalist, Xxxxxx Dispatch, Small Place County, XX Fall 2008-2011
• Covered, reported and conducted interviews on local events in Xxxxxx State. (I'd take out covered here. You may also want to break this into different points)
• Developed time management skills and the ability to work under high pressure deadlines. (this is kind of fluffy - how did you do that? what concrete stuff did you do?)

Student-Athlete Experience

Division 1 Track and Field, Liberal Arts University Fall 2007-Spring 2011
• Served as team captain and received the Excellence Award from Coach Xxx Xxxxxx upon completing a successful season.
• Dedicated 30 hours a week to training, traveling and competing at the highest level possible.
• Ranked in the Top 10 in Liberal Arts University history in three events, medaled at the conference championships, and qualified for the IC4A regional meet.


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Comments/musings in brackets.




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