i am always in love

(Applications Advice, Letters of Recommendation . . . )
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Postby Kompressor » Wed Dec 05, 2007 12:45 pm


That girl is cute! Yeah she is def. not as hot as her other three sisters that live in town, but she has all these cool friends that work for the UN. She is a real free spirit, takes you out to the coolest ethnic restaurants (with her you've tried real ethiopian food, ate afghan with your hands, and she even introduced you to vietnamese pho!) The only ding is that she NEVER pays. Even if you ask her politely to "split" the tab.

Sometimes when you're asleep at home, she'll sneak into your room and steal money from your wallet. She'll then use that money to hire personal chefs and send her favorite shitzu on vacation to Bali. Upon seeing pictures of George Bush, she wipes her backside with them and forms multiple swatstikas on his forehead, decrying that he is "worse than Hitler." She smokes herself silly, attends pro-Ahmadinjad/Chavez rallies where she preaches peace and Death to America, and then charges police officers with knives and baseball bats at World Bank protests.

Despite all that, however, things progress and marriage appears imminent, until she finds out that you are not Jewish and she dumps you. You hold the door for her as she exits your life, and she just kind of gives you the "of course you should be holding the door for me" look as she proceeds to open the door right next to it and walk out. It is the greatest relief of your life.

Daddy then buys her a new boy-toy to play with.

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Postby lollypotter » Wed Dec 05, 2007 12:51 pm

^^ um, ok....

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Postby Kompressor » Wed Dec 05, 2007 12:54 pm

Sorry, did I ruin the mood?

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Postby joonbug » Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:00 pm

Brooklyn - She loves the city, and so do you. However, she is always a dollar short and a minute late, and you find yourself not taking her seriously. The prospect of dating her, however, is great and her figure is not that bad, but you can never think of her as the priority. Maybe a backup girl; the perpetual plan B. You know that when you screw up with chasing ultimate hotties like Ms. H or Ms. Y or even Ms. NYU, you can always crash at her place and enjoy a nice long conversation with her...along with some pizzas. You are not looking for a relationship with her, just a quick one-night stand, and when she gets clingy, you are willing to put some distances between you and her.


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Postby Gametime » Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:09 pm

Ok, i'm going to try....for some reason this turned out to be a short novel
hmmmmmmmmmm i had too much time on my hands!


You and your girlfriends decide to all get together at one of their apartments and bring your latest flames. You decide to bring Cornell a guy that you just met last week in the grocery store. You arrive a little late to the party with Cornell and are introduced to your friends dates Harvard, Yale, and Boalt. Harvard has the perfect body and looks like a model, your told that Yale's parents almost own an entire state in the west, and Boalt kind of looks like a blond version of Harvard. Cornell is charming, funny, and intelligent. The other guys just kind of sit there and seem to be totally lost in every conversation but you must admit they do look cute just sitting there.

You and your friends kiss the guys goodnight and kick them out so that you can talk about them. Your shocked bc all your friends talk about is how attractive Harvard, Yale, and Boalt were and you thought your guy clearly stole the show. They finally mention Cornell but it was only to say how funny they thought his ears looked. You thought to yourself that you didnt think that they were that big but conceded that maybe you just missed it. You start to thik that maybe he is not good enough for you! You come to the realization that you don't have the beauty that your friends have and decide to ask him to officially be your boyfriend. You spend every day happy doing things with Cornell and every night praying that your friends gain 10pounds and thier boyfriends dump them.

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I'll give it a shot

Postby dreday3223 » Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:13 pm

Ill try

Fordham - she is a lot like Brooklyn only better. She is cute and intelligent but not quite as good as her older sisters in NYU and Columbia. Her reputation is good but not quite like her sisters either. She is the one you go for cause the other two are too preoccupied with everyone else or you simply just dont have a chance in hell with her older sisters. If you would settle for anything less than your dream girl she might be the one. You wouldnt mind telling others that she is your girl but when you get around other circles she is less impressive. She is flexible meaning you can settle down with her or you can use her to get to her older sisters. At least, she is doable. She is not the best thing in the family (NYC) but she is far from the worst.


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Postby lizzy1280 » Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:17 pm

fordham: your first impression of this guy is that he's pretty good looking. well okay, maybe his face is a little off and he's not as smart as the guys sitting near him, but his body? to die for. you go on a date, and get a little turned off when he asks you who else you're seeing right now. do you think he's jealous? no matter. great body. he takes you back to his place, and you excuse yourself to use his bathrooms. but while doing a routine medicine-cabinet check, you find bottles of steroids. all of a sudden, this body doesn't look too good. you leave with a distinctly creeped out feeling, like you've been tricked.

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Postby M51 » Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:29 pm

^^^ priceless. :lol:

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Postby angiejolie » Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:39 pm

BC: She is the classicly beautiful woman who is perpetually dressed in a plaid pencil skirt, j.crew cashmere cardigan and her grandmother's pearls. she chooses the date location and you end up at the country club her parent's paid thousands of dollars to join, drinking merlot and talking politics and the economy. you learn that she is attending that law school because that is where her daddy went and that is what he wants for her. after you drop her off at the gate of her parent's mansion, trying to kiss her, but getting her cheek instead ("i am a classy lady. i never kiss on the first date" is what she said) you leave thinking that though she is intelligent and sophisticated, is she really as great as her and her daddy thinks she is?

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Postby ari20dal7 » Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:42 pm

Fordham is that girl. Everybody knows her. She's pretty good looking , but she puts out way too quickly to trust her. Everybody who dated her got dumped by someone slightly more attractive or a touch more intelligent beforehand. It was good: maybe even great at times. Approximately one third of the guys who date her are as happy during that time as those who dated the real hotties, but that happiness is tainted by the fact that others know that you're just a little bit desperate......

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Postby P.J.Fry » Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:17 pm

Last edited by P.J.Fry on Wed Sep 10, 2014 12:21 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Postby worldtraveler » Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:19 pm

^^^Can we keep these from being that sexist please?

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Postby lizzy1280 » Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:20 pm

or just from being disgusting... running trains? yuck. otherwise, funny.

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Postby P.J.Fry » Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:22 pm


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Postby lizzy1280 » Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:22 pm

yup :)

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Postby thisabyssisbliss » Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:37 pm

she chooses the date location and you end up at the country club her parent's paid thousands of dollars to join

its just called "The Country Club"

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Postby dirix » Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:20 pm

Just bumping this back to the top, where it belongs.

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Postby Locke181 » Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:17 pm

Florida Coastal: I meet this girl when she finds me on myspace through a mutual 'friend' that is more like an acquaintance at best. Our 'friend' tells this girl that I am single and may be interested in meeting her, although this is completely untrue considering I have never even seen a picture of her. I get a friend request from the girl that has a profile picture clearly in the best pose she could possibly muster. Although my immediate attention is towards her double chin and menacing overbite, I nonetheless accept her friend request and inspect her photos more; After all, I haven't gotten laid in six months and maybe I am uglier than I thought; setting my standards a bit lower is probably what I need to do. After continued inspection of more pictures I notice that, although she has decent looking friends, she is indeed the ugliest of the group. Keeping a positive attitude, I continue the search for the hopes of one picture that makes her look remotely attractive. Instead, I find a pic deeply embedded in the bowel's of her profile of her with a bathing suit on. After holding back an imminent vomit, I begin to wonder why our mutual 'friend' would make me susceptible to such a gorilla. I then begin to wonder if I myself have seriously overestimated my attractiveness to women and fall into a deep depression. The reason our 'friend' could have tired to set me up is that she feels sorry for me and thinks her ugly friend would be the best I could do. Whatever the case me be, I cheer myself up by looking at trophies I won in the third grade for such incredible feats as "sportsmanship of the year" or "most improved." Then I slowly grin and know I am going to make it and that hot girls do really like me.

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Postby alexb240 » Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:25 pm

Hahaha, good one for Florida Coastal. You forgot to mention that she's a complete stalker who sends you way too many texts. Even after you changed your phone, she somehow got a hold of that number too.

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Postby Probity » Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:27 pm

I have been lurking on this site for some time now. I had to register simply to tell the OP how brilliant this thread is. Many praises, sir!! This type of personification works when someone is able to encapsulate the intangible qualities as you have.

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Postby Locke181 » Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:28 pm

very true alexb

fyi..i actually had thi.os situation happen and the girl actually did send me stalker texts but before the myspace stalking. lol

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Ben Matlock
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Another lurker bites the bullet

Postby Ben Matlock » Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:38 pm

I've lurked on these forums throughout my cycle, and this thread too compelled me to register. I had to add some characterizations of my own:

Northwestern: This is the girl slightly older than you whom you’re not really sure you should have asked out in the first place. She’s already in the “real world” with a secure job while you’re still a naïve college student or fresh out of school. She seems great now, but you’re worried if she’ll still be considered attractive in a few years. Northwestern is friendly and knows how to have fun, but you keep getting the feeling you’re too immature. She doesn’t mind dating, and will give anyone the time of day instead of just rejecting every loser who comes up to her. And she’ll even pay because she has money to blow.

Columbia: This girl is smart and put-together. A bit on the nerdy side, she was never part of that super-exclusive clique, but she’s still selective in the guys she dates. She doesn’t keep her place very clean, but you don’t care – as long as you get to sleep over. She has a rivalry with her sister (who lives not too far away), but it stays friendly most of the time. She’s very white and Jewish and dates mostly in her fold, but claims to like “ethnic” guys. Your friends have heard about people in her family and think they’re a bit crazy – they tend to be controversial. She and her family love to invite guests. Be prepared to have dinner with an evil dictator every once in a while.

Minnesota: This girl is charming and down-to-earth. She used to be 30 pounds heavier (more like the rest of Minnesota) so a lot of people don’t realize how attractive she is now. She’s still carrying a few extra pounds but seems happy that way - plus you tend to like some "padding." A bit boring, but a girl you might be able to settle down with. She might not be as smart as you, but she’s really interested in science; when you told her you studied engineering, she asked youout. Her friends want to be doctors.

Princeton: This is the girl of your dreams. She’s beautiful, popular, good in bed, smart, funny, and practical with just the right amount of idealism and ambition. She’s a bit WASPy, but in a good way (polite, well-spoken, sophisticated, and wealthy). You spend hours at the gym and try to stop picking your nose and cracking your knuckles just so you might have a shot at landing her. Every day you imagine talking to her, asking her out, making love, marrying her, and raising a family. She caters to your every desire and it makes you more than happy to cater to hers. Even if you managed to get into a serious relationship with Harvard or Yale, you would quickly become aware of their flaws (which they have!) and dream of Princeton once again.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t exist.

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Postby edgarderby » Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:52 pm


Duke just called you to tell you that she has AIDS, and you should probably go get yourself tested. Sorry :[

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Postby minarets » Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:59 pm

Detroit Mercy is that weird guy who sits in the very back row of the classroom. You never even look at him, as all the smart, cute guys sit up front with you. Every so often, however, you get a note passed to you that says "I love the way your hair smells," and you turn around to see him leering at you. You'll get calls on your unlisted home number, and even though all you hear is heavy breathing, you know it's him. You wish he'd leave you alone, but at the same time you realize he's so pathetic that even saying "please stop" would be taken as a come on and it'd just get worse.

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Postby 00TREX00 » Wed Dec 05, 2007 9:07 pm

Last edited by 00TREX00 on Wed Oct 19, 2016 11:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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