HELP!!! GPA addendum - - is it too long?

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llachans
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HELP!!! GPA addendum - - is it too long?

Postby llachans » Tue Nov 01, 2011 5:40 pm

Edit: Deted original.

Thanks for the valuable help guys!
Last edited by llachans on Tue Nov 01, 2011 6:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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rinkrat19
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Re: HELP!!! GPA addendum - - is it too long?

Postby rinkrat19 » Tue Nov 01, 2011 5:55 pm

llachans wrote:Any input is REALLY needed!


During my first semester as an undergraduate, I attempted to build a relationship with my biological mother or biological brothers, whom I had never met. Unfortunately, due to my biological mother’s drug and alcohol addiction, the relationships deteriorated. Around this same time, my grandmother passed away from cancer. My GPA during my first two semesters reflects the emotional turmoil I was experiencing.

Realizing that I was not capable of giving my education my full attention, I opted to withdraw from the University of Iowa for a semester. During this semester off, I met with a therapist, who helped me to cope with my grandmother’s death and resolve my biological mother’s abandonment. When I returned to school, refocused and committed, my GPA immediately improved and remained consistently higher than my freshman year.

I believe that my cumulative grade point average does not accurately demonstrate my academic potential as a student, and that my performance in the years since my freshman year is more indicative of my abilities.
A little more succinct.

Curious1
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Re: HELP!!! GPA addendum - - is it too long?

Postby Curious1 » Tue Nov 01, 2011 5:56 pm

Wayyyyyyyyyy too long.

"An addendum should be no longer than 3 sentences." - Karen Buttenbaum, Dean of HLS admissions

llachans
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Re: HELP!!! GPA addendum - - is it too long?

Postby llachans » Tue Nov 01, 2011 5:59 pm

rinkrat - Thank you! That's quite helpful.

Curious1 wrote:Wayyyyyyyyyy too long.

"An addendum should be no longer than 3 sentences." - Karen Buttenbaum, Dean of HLS admissions


Oh wow! I honestly had no idea. I'm so glad I didn't send that. They would've been thinking, "get to the point already!!!".

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rinkrat19
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Re: HELP!!! GPA addendum - - is it too long?

Postby rinkrat19 » Tue Nov 01, 2011 6:02 pm

Curious1 wrote:Wayyyyyyyyyy too long.

"An addendum should be no longer than 3 sentences." - Karen Buttenbaum, Dean of HLS admissions

I think plenty of people go over three sentences. Plus OP is actually attempting to explain two things (lower GPA and a break in education), so it'd be difficult to limit it to three.

But you definitely do need to state your case and shut up. I'm sure my version could be trimmed even further.

llachans
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Re: HELP!!! GPA addendum - - is it too long?

Postby llachans » Tue Nov 01, 2011 6:04 pm

rinkrat19 wrote:
Curious1 wrote:Wayyyyyyyyyy too long.

"An addendum should be no longer than 3 sentences." - Karen Buttenbaum, Dean of HLS admissions

I think plenty of people go over three sentences. Plus OP is actually attempting to explain two things (lower GPA and a break in education), so it'd be difficult to limit it to three.

But you definitely do need to state your case and shut up. I'm sure my version could be trimmed even further.


haha! Thanks for the advice. I'm working on shutting it up much sooner :)

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blink
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Re: HELP!!! GPA addendum - - is it too long?

Postby blink » Tue Nov 01, 2011 6:10 pm

rinkrat19 wrote:
Curious1 wrote:Wayyyyyyyyyy too long.

"An addendum should be no longer than 3 sentences." - Karen Buttenbaum, Dean of HLS admissions

I think plenty of people go over three sentences. Plus OP is actually attempting to explain two things (lower GPA and a break in education), so it'd be difficult to limit it to three.

But you definitely do need to state your case and shut up. I'm sure my version could be trimmed even further.


three! attempts to explain how standardized tests are not representative of his or her abilities....one sentence per topic!

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blink
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Re: HELP!!! GPA addendum - - is it too long?

Postby blink » Tue Nov 01, 2011 6:13 pm

Seriously though, the difference between GPAs before and after is not large enough to merit an addendum. People have bad freshman campaigns. Move on, this sounds like a bag of excuses.

llachans
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Re: HELP!!! GPA addendum - - is it too long?

Postby llachans » Tue Nov 01, 2011 6:20 pm

blink wrote:
rinkrat19 wrote:
Curious1 wrote:Wayyyyyyyyyy too long.

"An addendum should be no longer than 3 sentences." - Karen Buttenbaum, Dean of HLS admissions

I think plenty of people go over three sentences. Plus OP is actually attempting to explain two things (lower GPA and a break in education), so it'd be difficult to limit it to three.

But you definitely do need to state your case and shut up. I'm sure my version could be trimmed even further.


three! attempts to explain how standardized tests are not representative of his or her abilities....one sentence per topic!


I cut that out. And had right after posting it on here. That was a mother trying to be helpful. I think the rocky first year is entirely justified though. It's not an excuse at all. My freshman year was terrible. I couldn't make it through an entire class without crying. I know my GPA would be much stronger had I not experienced the above.

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rinkrat19
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Re: HELP!!! GPA addendum - - is it too long?

Postby rinkrat19 » Tue Nov 01, 2011 6:42 pm

llachans wrote:
blink wrote:
rinkrat19 wrote:
Curious1 wrote:Wayyyyyyyyyy too long.

"An addendum should be no longer than 3 sentences." - Karen Buttenbaum, Dean of HLS admissions

I think plenty of people go over three sentences. Plus OP is actually attempting to explain two things (lower GPA and a break in education), so it'd be difficult to limit it to three.

But you definitely do need to state your case and shut up. I'm sure my version could be trimmed even further.


three! attempts to explain how standardized tests are not representative of his or her abilities....one sentence per topic!


I cut that out. And had right after posting it on here. That was a mother trying to be helpful. I think the rocky first year is entirely justified though. It's not an excuse at all. My freshman year was terrible. I couldn't make it through an entire class without crying. I know my GPA would be much stronger had I not experienced the above.
The problem is that aside from that one semester of 3.8, your other semesters aren't that much stronger. (I was kind of ignoring this when I did my edit, but I do agree.)




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