Yale 250

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yoiav
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Yale 250

Postby yoiav » Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:37 pm

With the Yale application opening soon i thought we could start a thread of sample 250's. here's mine

Two recent events showed me that morals still hold strong in this country. The first one occurred on July 9th 2011 when Derek Jeter, a member of the New York Yankees, recorded his 3,000th hit, a home run. The ball was caught by Christian Lopez, a 23 year old fan who has several hundred thousand dollars worth of student loans. He felt that the right thing to do was to give the ball to Mr. Jeter, despite the fact that the ball was worth more than his outstanding debt. Many social commentators considered his choice foolish. They felt that he owed nothing to Mr. Jeter. To me, whether or not his morals are correct is beside the point. What is amazing is that he did not sacrifice his “morals” for several hundred thousand dollars.

The second incident was the acquittal of Casey Anthony for the murder of her daughter Caylee. The jury members all felt strongly that Ms. Anthony and seemed embarrassed to face the media after delivering their verdict. They had to sneak out of the court house and felt disgusted by what they had done. Yet they all understood that there was not enough conclusive evidence to find her guilty.

I admire Mr. Lopez and the Anthony jury for following the moral choice instead of the popular choice and plan to use this lesson for the difficult choices that await me in the practice of law.


thoughts and comments welcome

CanadianWolf
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Re: Yale 250

Postby CanadianWolf » Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:45 pm

Words are missing from the second sentence of the second paragraph.

If you substitute the word "stupidity" for "morals", then your Yale 250 rings true.
P.S. Your Yale 250 will be remembered if you include a used baseball as prepayment for 3 years of law school tuition.
Last edited by CanadianWolf on Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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JamMasterJ
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Re: Yale 250

Postby JamMasterJ » Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:48 pm

yoiav wrote: The second incident was the acquittal of Casey Anthony for the murder of her daughter Caylee. The jury members all felt strongly that Ms. Anthony and seemed embarrassed to face the media after delivering their verdict.

thoughts and comments welcome

This sentence makes no sense

freestallion
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Re: Yale 250

Postby freestallion » Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:52 pm

Did you really send that to yale? lol

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JamMasterJ
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Re: Yale 250

Postby JamMasterJ » Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:55 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:Words are missing from the second sentence of the second paragraph.

If you substitute the word "stupidity" for "morals", then your Yale 250 rings true.
P.S. Your Yale 250 will be remembered if you include a used baseball as prepayment for 3 years of law school tuition.

Or at least "principles"

yoiav
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Re: Yale 250

Postby yoiav » Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:05 pm

JamMasterJ wrote:
CanadianWolf wrote:Words are missing from the second sentence of the second paragraph.

If you substitute the word "stupidity" for "morals", then your Yale 250 rings true.
P.S. Your Yale 250 will be remembered if you include a used baseball as prepayment for 3 years of law school tuition.

Or at least "principles"



this is a rough draft. was looking to get an idea about the content as opposed to actual grammatical errors

CanadianWolf
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Re: Yale 250

Postby CanadianWolf » Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:13 pm

In my opinion, it would be better to rethink your theme. As written, all that this essay offers are simplistic observations of a layperson.
Last edited by CanadianWolf on Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

yoiav
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Re: Yale 250

Postby yoiav » Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:15 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:In my opinion, it would be better to rethink your theme.



thank you for some useful insight unlike all these other trolls.
what specifically is no good? not original enough? wrong track for a 250 altogether?

CanadianWolf
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Re: Yale 250

Postby CanadianWolf » Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:19 pm

Yale 250s seek a flash of brilliance or keen insight expressed in a succinct fashion. Any person of ordinary intelligence could have written this piece.

yoiav
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Re: Yale 250

Postby yoiav » Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:20 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:Yale 250s seek a flash of brilliance or keen insight expressed in a succinct fashion. Any person of ordinary intelligence could have written this piece.


thank you

meatball122
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Re: Yale 250

Postby meatball122 » Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:21 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:Yale 250s seek a flash of brilliance or keen insight expressed in a succinct fashion. Any person of ordinary intelligence could have written this piece.

+1 from a 0L with no chance at Yale

Also, though it's probably all for nothing, I intend to apply to Yale (168 / 3.8 with military). Because Im at such an ENORMOUS number disadvantage, I intend to make my 250 quite "memorable." I have quite a few stories from my time in the Marine Corps that are fairly gripping. My goal is to have them finish and think "woah, that was pretty awesome." I figure that's the only thing I got going for me.

bdvanhorn1
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Re: Yale 250

Postby bdvanhorn1 » Mon Oct 03, 2011 4:04 pm

meatball122 wrote:
CanadianWolf wrote:Yale 250s seek a flash of brilliance or keen insight expressed in a succinct fashion. Any person of ordinary intelligence could have written this piece.

+1 from a 0L with no chance at Yale

Also, though it's probably all for nothing, I intend to apply to Yale (168 / 3.8 with military). Because Im at such an ENORMOUS number disadvantage, I intend to make my 250 quite "memorable." I have quite a few stories from my time in the Marine Corps that are fairly gripping. My goal is to have them finish and think "woah, that was pretty awesome." I figure that's the only thing I got going for me.


I have similar numbers. I seriously do believe that the only way I can give myself a 1% chance is to write the best 250 of the cycle.

Also, the above essay is limited to observations and has little (if any) insight. I would also start over completely, but you should never give up either. There are plenty of people who will never even try (or even have the balls to post their 250), so you do have something....

lightswitch
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Re: Yale 250

Postby lightswitch » Tue Oct 04, 2011 3:04 am

Would I be correct in thinking that Yale's application is still not out then? I thought it might've just been me.

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Hawkeye Pierce
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Re: Yale 250

Postby Hawkeye Pierce » Tue Oct 04, 2011 3:10 am

lightswitch wrote:Would I be correct in thinking that Yale's application is still not out then? I thought it might've just been me.


It won't be out until the 15th of October.

Kretzy
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Re: Yale 250

Postby Kretzy » Tue Oct 04, 2011 3:59 am

yoiav wrote:
CanadianWolf wrote:Yale 250s seek a flash of brilliance or keen insight expressed in a succinct fashion. Any person of ordinary intelligence could have written this piece.


thank you


Honestly, I don't think the above (from CWolf) is true. Yale seems to seek 250s that show (a) an intellectual curiosity that would excel at YLS, (b) an interesting and unique area of interest that the application doesn't otherwise show, or (c) an essay that wouldn't otherwise disqualify a 175+/3.9+ applicant. A solid chunk of people with relatively ordinary intelligence but an extraordinary work ethic get into, and succeed at, YLS.

There are far more problems with this essay than the fact it shows neither a "flash of brilliance" nor extraordinary intelligence. A major problem is focusing on the Casey Anthony trial for an essay to get into Yale (similar problems would include focusing on the Simpson case, or the Knox verdict (now acquittal)). YLS wants you to be interesting, not Nancy Grace.

CanadianWolf
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Re: Yale 250

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Oct 04, 2011 6:51 am

Kretzky wrote: "A solid chunk of people with relatively ordinary intelligence...get into & succeed at Yale..." after noting that the Yale 250 essay should not otherwise disqualify one with a 175+ LSAT score & a 3.9+ GPA.
I wonder how the above poster defines "ordinary intelligence" ?

P.S. Kretzky's (a), (b) or (c) suggestions for Yale 250 essays are helpful and not inconsistent with my earlier post. They are probably from a Yale admissions blog.

melsaye
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Re: Yale 250

Postby melsaye » Sun Oct 23, 2011 1:23 pm

My Yale 250
going for an applied ethics theme, whilst playing on a pun, comments appreciated:

As I gave into temptation and bit into the juicy red apple, I thought of Eve. I’ve always had a weakness for apples and pretty eyes. Succumbing to Eve’s batting eyelashes was hardly an ethical dilemma. At worst it resulted in a quarrel that would serve as impetus to further impassioned dialectical pleasures.
Choosing to bite into a Red Delicious on the other hand, was a struggle of principles. Crunching away, I wondered if this was a Chilean, American, or Canadian Apple. The link between my personal tastes and the livelihoods of apple farmers was a thread in tension. Marx and Ricardo tore at the fabric of my conscience. Thoughts of comparative advantage, alienated labour, agricultural subsidies, product dumping, and WTO tribunals infested my mind. I tried to converge rationality and ethics by seeking refuge in the laws of supply and demand. My youthful atomistic morality had been replaced with a sophisticated ethic rooted in the economics of human relations and empathy. Justice was no longer just a Socratic abstraction, it was a measurable phenomenon. I hadn’t fallen from grace; I was merely plugging into humanity.
My coalescence with Eve was an exchange that affected only the both of us; it was not original sin. My biting into the apple was a pull at the continuum of the organic; it was an action with consequences for people I’d never met. It was a choice that demanded an awareness of the world outside of the untenable seclusion of Eden.

lsatcrazy
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Re: Yale 250

Postby lsatcrazy » Sun Oct 23, 2011 1:32 pm

yoiav wrote:With the Yale application opening soon i thought we could start a thread of sample 250's. here's mine

Two recent events showed me that morals still hold strong in this country. The first one occurred on July 9th 2011 when Derek Jeter, a member of the New York Yankees, recorded his 3,000th hit, a home run. The ball was caught by Christian Lopez, a 23 year old fan who has several hundred thousand dollars worth of student loans. He felt that the right thing to do was to give the ball to Mr. Jeter, despite the fact that the ball was worth more than his outstanding debt. Many social commentators considered his choice foolish. They felt that he owed nothing to Mr. Jeter. To me, whether or not his morals are correct is beside the point. What is amazing is that he did not sacrifice his “morals” for several hundred thousand dollars.

The second incident was the acquittal of Casey Anthony for the murder of her daughter Caylee. The jury members all felt strongly that Ms. Anthony and seemed embarrassed to face the media after delivering their verdict. They had to sneak out of the court house and felt disgusted by what they had done. Yet they all understood that there was not enough conclusive evidence to find her guilty.

I admire Mr. Lopez and the Anthony jury for following the moral choice instead of the popular choice and plan to use this lesson for the difficult choices that await me in the practice of law.


thoughts and comments welcome


You are getting a BTL, aren't you? Do yourself a favor and get someone who knows how to write to help you before you send anything in...

CanadianWolf
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Re: Yale 250

Postby CanadianWolf » Sun Oct 23, 2011 1:36 pm

@melsaye: Could you provide a translation into English ?

To be blunt, I think that you are trying too hard to present yourself as an intellectual at the expense of clarity.

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JamMasterJ
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Re: Yale 250

Postby JamMasterJ » Sun Oct 23, 2011 1:39 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:@melsaye: Could you provide a translation into English ?

To be blunt, I think that you are trying too hard to present yourself as an intellectual at the expense of clarity.

this is what I was gonna say. It's kinda pretentious high-minded b.s. It seems a little like you're just trying to use a lot of big words and advanced concepts and your main purpose doesn't come through

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kwais
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Re: Yale 250

Postby kwais » Sun Oct 23, 2011 1:39 pm

melsaye wrote:My Yale 250
going for an applied ethics theme, whilst playing on a pun, comments appreciated:

As I gave into temptation and bit into the juicy red apple, I thought of Eve. I’ve always had a weakness for apples and pretty eyes. Succumbing to Eve’s batting eyelashes was hardly an ethical dilemma. At worst it resulted in a quarrel that would serve as impetus to further impassioned dialectical pleasures.
Choosing to bite into a Red Delicious on the other hand, was a struggle of principles. Crunching away, I wondered if this was a Chilean, American, or Canadian Apple. The link between my personal tastes and the livelihoods of apple farmers was a thread in tension. Marx and Ricardo tore at the fabric of my conscience. Thoughts of comparative advantage, alienated labour, agricultural subsidies, product dumping, and WTO tribunals infested my mind. I tried to converge rationality and ethics by seeking refuge in the laws of supply and demand. My youthful atomistic morality had been replaced with a sophisticated ethic rooted in the economics of human relations and empathy. Justice was no longer just a Socratic abstraction, it was a measurable phenomenon. I hadn’t fallen from grace; I was merely plugging into humanity.
My coalescence with Eve was an exchange that affected only the both of us; it was not original sin. My biting into the apple was a pull at the continuum of the organic; it was an action with consequences for people I’d never met. It was a choice that demanded an awareness of the world outside of the untenable seclusion of Eden.


If you met someone at a cocktail party and they said a single sentence from this 250, what would you think? It is ok to be a real person in these things. Like many PS/250, it screams, I just got out of a life-changing seminar on x and now I am an expert on x.

thederangedwang
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Re: Yale 250

Postby thederangedwang » Sun Oct 23, 2011 3:21 pm

melsaye wrote:My Yale 250
going for an applied ethics theme, whilst playing on a pun, comments appreciated:

As I gave into temptation and bit into the juicy red apple, I thought of Eve. I’ve always had a weakness for apples and pretty eyes. Succumbing to Eve’s batting eyelashes was hardly an ethical dilemma. At worst it resulted in a quarrel that would serve as impetus to further impassioned dialectical pleasures.
Choosing to bite into a Red Delicious on the other hand, was a struggle of principles. Crunching away, I wondered if this was a Chilean, American, or Canadian Apple. The link between my personal tastes and the livelihoods of apple farmers was a thread in tension. Marx and Ricardo tore at the fabric of my conscience. Thoughts of comparative advantage, alienated labour, agricultural subsidies, product dumping, and WTO tribunals infested my mind. I tried to converge rationality and ethics by seeking refuge in the laws of supply and demand. My youthful atomistic morality had been replaced with a sophisticated ethic rooted in the economics of human relations and empathy. Justice was no longer just a Socratic abstraction, it was a measurable phenomenon. I hadn’t fallen from grace; I was merely plugging into humanity.
My coalescence with Eve was an exchange that affected only the both of us; it was not original sin. My biting into the apple was a pull at the continuum of the organic; it was an action with consequences for people I’d never met. It was a choice that demanded an awareness of the world outside of the untenable seclusion of Eden.



u tried wayyyyy too hard with this...analogies are fine, but keep it simple...

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BiglawOrBust
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Re: Yale 250

Postby BiglawOrBust » Sun Oct 23, 2011 4:52 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:@melsaye: Could you provide a translation into English ?

To be blunt, I think that you are trying too hard to present yourself as an intellectual at the expense of clarity.


+1, and Yale doesn't want the reincarnation of this guy:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_F. ... an_at_Yale

melsaye
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Re: Yale 250

Postby melsaye » Sun Oct 23, 2011 5:10 pm

Buckley?!
:shock:
That has to be the most irrelevant post. I guess the point didn't get across at all.

In any case, thanks for the input, I am working on another draft, but I don't think these concepts are that hard. This is basic Marxist ethics stuff, I am pretty sure that Adcomms at Yale will have some idea of the terms used here. For me I was taking a more implicit and poetic approach to the subject is all.
However, on the other hand, you are all right,this is law school, so perhaps the more more elegant solution would be to describe the complex arguments in a simple way.

CanadianWolf
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Re: Yale 250

Postby CanadianWolf » Sun Oct 23, 2011 5:16 pm

I'm fairly certain that most readers understand your essay; the primary criticism is your method of expressing your ideas.

P.S. melsaye: After reading your Yale 250, I wondered "if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound" ?




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