Resume Critique

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ElliottB
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Sep 27, 2011 6:14 pm

Resume Critique

Postby ElliottB » Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:50 am

Any pointers on editing this, more the content than formatting. Its just the rough draft but please be critical! Thanks guys!

EDUCATION
Gardner-Webb University, B.A. in Political Science, December 2009
Honors: English Honor Society
ESPN the Magazine Academic All District III, 2009
Big South Athletic Conference Male Student- Athlete of the Year
Political Science Student of the Year,2008
Who's Who Among American Colleges & Universities

Activities: Student Government
Student-Athlete Advisory Committee
Model Arab League
Varsity Football
EXPERIENCE
D1 Sports Training & Therapy, Greenville, SC August 2010 - Present
Facility Coordinator
Responsible for the management, day-to-day operations, and financial performance of sports training facility. Manage and maintain a staff of no fewer than 10 while formulating and executing marketing plans within the Greenville market.

NFL 2009
Undrafted Free Agent
Participated in tryouts with the Denver Broncos, Indianapolis Colts & San Diego Chargers.

Student -Athlete Advisory Committee, Boiling Springs, NC 2007-2009
Football Team Representative
Served as the liaison between community and the Gardner-Webb University football team. Planned and coordinated service projects for the team including mentoring programs for players as well as annual charity fundraising events.

Student Government, Boiling Springs, NC 2008-2009
Senior Class Vice-President
Heard and debated the approval of proposals for funding student organizations while representing the ideals of my fellow senior class. Lead the yearly fundraising efforts for the senior class gift, which resulted in the placement of a bronze statue in the center of the University’s athletic complex.

Model Arab League, Boiling Springs, NC 2008-2009
Minister of Justice
Participated in a yearly independent-study of Yemen and the bylaws of the Arab League. Heard and deliberated on cases as a member of the Arab Court of Justice, while successfully defending state sovereignty as legal council to Yemen.

Varsity Football 2005-2009
Team Captain
Consensus All-American linebacker 2006 & 2008.

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Opie
Posts: 1356
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 1:27 pm

Re: Resume Critique

Postby Opie » Wed Sep 28, 2011 6:25 pm

I'd drop Who's Who Among American Colleges & Universities.

It has negative connotations with some.

ElliottB
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Sep 27, 2011 6:14 pm

Re: Resume Critique

Postby ElliottB » Wed Sep 28, 2011 8:44 pm

Thanks, for my information, what are those connotations?

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Opie
Posts: 1356
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 1:27 pm

Re: Resume Critique

Postby Opie » Wed Sep 28, 2011 9:22 pm

ElliottB wrote:Thanks, for my information, what are those connotations?


That there aren't any real criteria and it's a scam used to make money off of sometimes misplaced parental pride. Not that it would be misplaced in your case of course. Your parents have a lot to be proud of.

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AntipodeanPhil
Posts: 1300
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2011 7:02 pm

Re: Resume Critique

Postby AntipodeanPhil » Wed Sep 28, 2011 9:34 pm

Opie wrote:
ElliottB wrote:Thanks, for my information, what are those connotations?


That there aren't any real criteria and it's a scam used to make money off of sometimes misplaced parental pride. Not that it would be misplaced in your case of course. Your parents have a lot to be proud of.

+1

It doesn't help, and might be taken to show poor judgment.

Also, it might help if you explain some of the points under the 'Education' heading. For example:

ElliottB wrote:Political Science Student of the Year,2008

This sounds impressive, but what is it? Was it an award given to you by the Political Science Department at your university? Was it given on the basis of grades, or overall achievement, or something else? You might add a bullet point like:

- Chosen by faculty on the basis of overall accomplishments.

Or something like that.

ElliottB
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Sep 27, 2011 6:14 pm

Re: Resume Critique

Postby ElliottB » Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:02 pm

AntipodeanPhil wrote:
Opie wrote:
ElliottB wrote:Thanks, for my information, what are those connotations?


That there aren't any real criteria and it's a scam used to make money off of sometimes misplaced parental pride. Not that it would be misplaced in your case of course. Your parents have a lot to be proud of.

+1

It doesn't help, and might be taken to show poor judgment.

Also, it might help if you explain some of the points under the 'Education' heading. For example:

ElliottB wrote:Political Science Student of the Year,2008

This sounds impressive, but what is it? Was it an award given to you by the Political Science Department at your university? Was it given on the basis of grades, or overall achievement, or something else? You might add a bullet point like:

- Chosen by faculty on the basis of overall accomplishments.

Or something like that.



Yes it was based on grades and overall achievemen, awarded by the Poli Sci faculty. Should i specify the criteria within my resume?

That does make sense about the who's who, thanks guys!

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theadvancededit
Posts: 315
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2011 1:31 pm

Re: Resume Critique

Postby theadvancededit » Thu Sep 29, 2011 10:04 am

ElliottB wrote:Yes it was based on grades and overall achievemen, awarded by the Poli Sci faculty. Should i specify the criteria within my resume?


Definitely. Without a proper clarification of what your awards/accolades are, the adcomm wouldn't have the slightest clue as to what these things actually are and, as a result, won't give you the credit that you deserve.




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