Look OP, I hate to break it to you but it doesn't matter. Someone creates one of these threads at least once a week. They mad, they get mocked, given a dose of reality, and then GTFO'd. Perhaps LSAT/GPA isn't the best indicator of your potential as a lawyer but it is what the adcomms use. This is a fact. Your parents went to an ivy league school because of their accomplishments. Perhaps they found it more important to LEARN something than to parade about making friends. I don't know if there is any sort of 'legacy' bump, but unless your parents decided to donate a building to the campus recently, I don't think it's going to be enough to shore up a sub 3 GPA.
It isn't about negativity. It's about reality. Right now, you are not embracing it. Sure, there are small and occasional exceptions made to admission standards. It doesn't behoove you to assume that you merit one. If you do get into HLS, you can come back and laugh in our collective faces. We will laugh with you, promise.
Do what you want. If you want to spend the app fee to take a chance, do it. Put together the best application you can. Just be realistic and stop acting like you are entitled to something that the two main factors in admissions won't provide you.
PS...Van Wilder was a movie. In movies, things work out regardless of how retarded the plan/main character is. Life decisions shouldn't be made based on these results, HTH.