Thoughts on sending a recommender a gift for their help? Forum

[Verity]

I used to get stares from faculty on campus for wearing a USC shirt (hint: didn't go to USC), even some condescending remarks. Not saying he'd bring it to work (and I don't even know if the recommender is a professor, so this could be moot), but it might be awkward for a professor to do that.

Unless USC was a rival, you either went to the most aspie school on earth or are full of shit. Most professors have degrees from 2 or more schools besides the one they teach at. It's not weird at all to see them with other schools' gear.

No it wasn't a rival really, it was a big state school in the South. And I said "unless the professor went to [that school]" which would make your whole point moot. Professors know where their fellow professors went to school. If I went to Tulane, and my colleague went to Dartmouth and Princeton and started sporting a Tulane mug, and we're both teaching at U Texas, I'd raise an eyebrow but personally wouldn't really care. Some would, though. It might be semi-awkward.

Besides, I think OP can do better than a mug.

This is honestly the weirdest reaction to a nice gift of a mug I've ever seen. The president of my UG (also a big state school in the south) LOVED the mug I got him from my future law school - which he has no affiliation with. So if the president of a university is okay with something from another school, I'm 100% sure it's not as eyebrow-raising as you, for some reason, believe it to be.

Mugs are a great idea, OP.

It's weird, but it happens, though rarely do people actually say these things out loud. That's life.

If you went to the same school as I did, then can see the prez of our school chucking that mug into the trash the minute you left, and murmuring "fucking loser" and doing a line of blow off his secretary's ass.

Mugs are fine, but OP can do better.

[Dany]

It's weird, but it happens, though rarely do people actually say these things out loud. That's life.

If you went to the same school as I did, then can see the prez of our school chucking that mug into the trash the minute you left, and murmuring "fucking loser" and doing a line of blow off his secretary's ass.

Mugs are fine, but OP can do better.

We did not go to the same school.

[d34d9823]

It's weird, but it happens, though rarely do people actually say these things out loud. That's life.

If you went to the same school as I did, then can see the prez of our school chucking that mug into the trash the minute you left, and murmuring "fucking loser" and doing a line of blow off his secretary's ass.

Mugs are fine, but OP can do better.

Dude, now you're just being a dick.

[Jack Smirks]

The responses to this thread substantiate my belief that the majority of law students have no common sense whatsoever.

[Corwin]

The answer to this question is 100% contextual. Everything between doing nothing and taking the recommender out for a steak dinner is fair game depending on your relationship with the person. A close friend certainly deserves something nice! I gave a bottle of scotch to a professor who recommended me for a scholarship that I won. I had been close with the person for a few years and felt it was appropriate. Of course, doing such a thing for someone you hardly know would be hella awkward. Context man.

[3ThrowAway99]

The answer to this question is 100% contextual. Everything between doing nothing and taking the recommender out for a steak dinner is fair game depending on your relationship with the person. A close friend certainly deserves something nice! I gave a bottle of scotch to a professor who recommended me for a scholarship that I won. I had been close with the person for a few years and felt it was appropriate. Of course, doing such a thing for someone you hardly know would be hella awkward. Context man.

I tend to agree with this. I also think that not overdoing it is probably a good idea, because in certain scenarios it could get into a conflict of interest pretty quickly if that person has any ongoing duties to evaluate you as a student. I further think it could make the recommender uncomfortable if the gesture is over the top. I personally feel that genuine expression of thanks is really plenty, and that most people who are willing to do this do it because they are happy to- they really aren't expecting something in return (I think if they are expecting something in return it's probably not a good sign, and is almost by definition problematic). But that doesn't mean that a kind or generous gesture isn't a good or even great idea in some instances. It is also possible that cultural factors will come into play on this; what is acceptable or expected in one cultural environment can be fairly different from what is customary or expected in other environments (perhaps even one part of the US v. other parts).

[094320]

..

[lsatextreme]

I may have gone overboard according to many people here. I gave both of my environmental science department professors a gift basket from whole foods comprised of fair trade/organic wine, chocolate, tea, various fruits, and a bunch of other stuff I can't think of. The employee who picked them all out for me even neatly gift wrapped them in a straw gift basket with ribbons and stuff so it was awesome. Spent like ~$70 for each basket and my recommenders were so happy and said they enjoyed it immensely.

[Dany]

Spent like ~$70 for each basket

wow

[lsatextreme]

I dont half ass presents, i usually like to impress. Not that they're mutually inclusive but yeam

[Verity]

Dude, now you're just being a dick.

Oh please. If guys can get dinged at OCI for having neatly trimmed beards, and girls can get dinged for wearing anything that's not black or dark grey, I shouldn't have to explain how stupidly fickle people can be, and what they say about others in their own minds.

True story: When I was doing my PhD, a fellow student wore a Yale shirt his brother gave him (who was attending Yale at the time). I didn't give a shit, and you shouldn't. But another student was all smiles to his face, and then was like "Who the f does he think he is? He didn't go to Yale!" I said who cares, but this imbecile just kept on with his condescending bullshit. Was it right? No. Would I care what some idiot thinks? No. But that's reality. And all I'm saying is that it's not useless to be sensitive to the possibility of creating awkward positions for others.

But it doesn't matter anyway, because a mug is not the end all be all of gifts. OP said this recommender was very helpful (bent over backwards). OP can do better.

Also love the copypasta.

[Dany]

What in the heck are you talking about? OCI? "creating awkward positions for others"? A prof isn't going to give a crap if someone has a problem with a gift a student got him (even though no one would care anyway.)

And it's not necessarily a mug thing; any gift from the law school you'll be attending is a neat gift, and a reminder of what the recommender helped you achieve.

At this point I think you're trolling, but if not - relax.

[Verity]

What in the heck are you talking about? OCI? "creating awkward positions for others"? A prof isn't going to give a crap if someone has a problem with a gift a student got him (even though no one would care anyway.)

And it's not necessarily a mug thing; any gift from the law school you'll be attending is a neat gift, and a reminder of what the recommender helped you achieve.

At this point I think you're trolling, but if not - relax.

Hopefully.

[DMBFan]

I got my academic recommender a bottle of scotch. Some people may think his is over the top; I don't. IMO, you are asking a professor to spend (potentially a great deal of) their time helping you out. A nice gift is in order.

I don't personally believe this skirts any ethical boundary, nor do I really view writing LORs as part of a prof's job.

[Dany]

Fuck I've been trolled.

[Verity]

I got my academic recommender a bottle of scotch. Some people may think his is over the top; I don't. IMO, you are asking a professor to spend (potentially a great deal of) their time helping you out. A nice gift is in order.

I don't personally believe this skirts any ethical boundary, nor do I really view writing LORs as part of a prof's job.

+1, especially the bolded. OP said this prof really went above and beyond. Karma.

[yngblkgifted]

Didn't get them anything. I did however express my gratitude in someway. I'm still going to law school.

[Cupidity]

Baseball hat and coffee mug from my law school.