Getting into a relationship before 1L

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flexityflex86
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Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby flexityflex86 » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:00 pm

Is this a bad idea?

I've been seeing this girl for about two months now, and we connect really well - kind of a partners in crime kind of thing. I trust her in a way I haven't trusted other women I've been in relationships with before - never had fidelity trusting issues, but I mean I trust that I could do anythingggg and she'd back me up.

She wants to hang out all the time, and basically invites herself over, which is cool cause she normally cooks and just wants to make love, which sometimes it can be too much, but it's not like I'm gonna turn that down. She's very pretty, and interesting as well. She started pushing being in a relationship, saying she could "see herself marrying me", etc. and has brought up the idea of moving with me to the law school I go to.

It might be good having a partner while I'm in law school. At the schools I'm considering, I have people I met in college, but no real friends. On the other end, I'm kind of a maverick and have always performed my best while on my own. I've never needed real friends to adapt, network and thrive, though I'd prob be happier having people to share experiences with. I have a lot of annoying living habits (fall asleep to sports talk radio, smoke indoors, etc.) I don't really see myself having any drama with her, but I'm not sold I see her as like a potential wife, which is what moving in together would entail. I feel really connected to her, and really don't want to break her heart.
Last edited by flexityflex86 on Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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dpk711
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby dpk711 » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:01 pm

Bad idea.

PiersonVee
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby PiersonVee » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:04 pm

With all due respect, you might want to hold onto her. Based on the fact that you came here for relationship advice, you may not get another shot at a relationship with a real human being.

Remember, I am saying this with all due respect.
Last edited by PiersonVee on Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Rikkugrrl
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby Rikkugrrl » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:05 pm

Wait wait, she invites herself over, takes up lots of your time, pushes to be in a relationship, and you think that's too much *now*? I mean, you're gonna do what you want regardless of what we say here, but unless she swears an oath in blood that she can turn the cling factor waaaaaaaay down, madame Cleo sees some issues in y'all's future when you're spending hours and hours at the library and can't spend nearly as much time together as y'all do now.

LSATfromNC
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby LSATfromNC » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:05 pm

If you are having to ask on an internet forum about whether to take the girl with you then you probably should not. Go to school and have fun, if it's meant to be then fate will find a way.

flexityflex86
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby flexityflex86 » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:08 pm

Rikkugrrl wrote:Wait wait, she invites herself over, takes up lots of your time, pushes to be in a relationship, and you think that's too much *now*? I mean, you're gonna do what you want regardless of what we say here, but unless she swears an oath in blood that she can turn the cling factor waaaaaaaay down, madame Cleo sees some issues in y'all's future when you're spending hours and hours at the library and can't spend nearly as much time together as y'all do now.

it's not too much. it's nice, because it's like i have this hot girl in my pace without having to do anything, but sometimes it's annoying. shed be like she was at a museum in my area, and had to use the bathroom when it's like there's a starbucks next door. she wouldn't stop me from doing my work or being annoying, but when she's laying on my bed it is very hard to focus on my work.

flexityflex86
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby flexityflex86 » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:09 pm

PiersonVee wrote:With all due respect, you might want to hold onto her. Based on the fact that you came here for relationship advice, you may not get another shot at a relationship with a real human being.

Remember, I am saying this with all due respect.

lol appreciated. i just don't know what 1L is like. everyone on here hypes it up so damn much.

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Ty Webb
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby Ty Webb » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:10 pm

Answer is two-fold:

1) It's possible to maintain a relationship in law school. It requires a lot of maturity and a pretty well established relationship. I've done it long-distance, and with a little bit of hang wringing, I've sustained it throughout this year.

2) Ignore #1 because it's irrelevant here. The girl said she could see herself marrying you after two months. RUN.

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Knock
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby Knock » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:11 pm

flexityflex86 wrote:
PiersonVee wrote:With all due respect, you might want to hold onto her. Based on the fact that you came here for relationship advice, you may not get another shot at a relationship with a real human being.

Remember, I am saying this with all due respect.

lol appreciated. i just don't know what 1L is like. everyone on here hypes it up so damn much.


Yeah, I say don't let law school control your life. If you want to be in a relationship with her, go for it. Just make sure she understands that you're going to be very busy.

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Ty Webb
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby Ty Webb » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:11 pm

flexityflex86 wrote:
Rikkugrrl wrote:Wait wait, she invites herself over, takes up lots of your time, pushes to be in a relationship, and you think that's too much *now*? I mean, you're gonna do what you want regardless of what we say here, but unless she swears an oath in blood that she can turn the cling factor waaaaaaaay down, madame Cleo sees some issues in y'all's future when you're spending hours and hours at the library and can't spend nearly as much time together as y'all do now.

it's not too much. it's nice, because it's like i have this hot girl in my pace without having to do anything, but sometimes it's annoying. shed be like she was at a museum in my area, and had to use the bathroom when it's like there's a starbucks next door. she wouldn't stop me from doing my work or being annoying, but when she's laying on my bed it is very hard to focus on my work.


Image

flexityflex86
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby flexityflex86 » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:12 pm

Ty Webb wrote:Answer is two-fold:

1) It's possible to maintain a relationship in law school. It requires a lot of maturity and a pretty well established relationship. I've done it long-distance, and with a little bit of hang wringing, I've sustained it throughout this year.

2) Ignore #1 because it's irrelevant here. The girl said she could see herself marrying you after two months. RUN.

On her behalf, I'm from a culture where people do get married quickly. For example, she's been in a foreign country at a friend's wedding this week.

PiersonVee
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby PiersonVee » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:14 pm

flexityflex86 wrote:
PiersonVee wrote:With all due respect, you might want to hold onto her. Based on the fact that you came here for relationship advice, you may not get another shot at a relationship with a real human being.

Remember, I am saying this with all due respect.

lol appreciated. i just don't know what 1L is like. everyone on here hypes it up so damn much.

Ha, I'm messing with you. Seriously, a solid relationship would make life easier, whereas a needy, emotionally draining relationship would make life harder.

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Rikkugrrl
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby Rikkugrrl » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:16 pm

flexityflex86 wrote:
Rikkugrrl wrote:Wait wait, she invites herself over, takes up lots of your time, pushes to be in a relationship, and you think that's too much *now*? I mean, you're gonna do what you want regardless of what we say here, but unless she swears an oath in blood that she can turn the cling factor waaaaaaaay down, madame Cleo sees some issues in y'all's future when you're spending hours and hours at the library and can't spend nearly as much time together as y'all do now.

it's not too much. it's nice, because it's like i have this hot girl in my pace without having to do anything, but sometimes it's annoying. shed be like she was at a museum in my area, and had to use the bathroom when it's like there's a starbucks next door. she wouldn't stop me from doing my work or being annoying, but when she's laying on my bed it is very hard to focus on my work.


As long as you let her know how much of your time is going to get eaten up by school and she's okay with it, go for it if it's what you both want. But this is what you have to consider. Unless she has friends/family in the city you're going to move to, she's probably going to be spending a lot of time on her own at least in the beginning, whereas you're going to be very, very busy. She might be the one who's lonely. Oh, and make sure you're not using her as a warm body just in case you get lonely in law school and you're bringing her with you could honestly see a future with her.

Personally, I wouldn't do it, but I'm biased cause I actually just ended a relationship over the weekend because I'm moving to the city I'm going to law school in just a couple weeks after I graduate in May. It wasn't easy because we really liked each other, but I knew I couldn't give him the time commitment he wanted. If your girl's okay with that though, then best of luck to you both.

FiveSermon
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby FiveSermon » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:17 pm

How hot is she?

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Borhas
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby Borhas » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:19 pm

1L is not that bad except for 2-3 weeks before final exams and the week before memo or moot court briefs are due... other than that it's pretty chill

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Ty Webb
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby Ty Webb » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:19 pm

FiveSermon wrote:How hot is she?


Citing, for the record:

Image

clone22
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby clone22 » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:20 pm

As long as you're sure she's not gonna drug you, tie you up, remove all your valuables and both kidneys, I say go for it. Make sure she doesn't have enough access to your stuff that she can fuck you over, but dude, not having to worry about getting laid during 1L seems like some tiger blood material right there.

is it inappropriate to ask for pics to accurately determine whether or not the OP should stay with her?

flexityflex86
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby flexityflex86 » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:20 pm

for my current city, very hot. based on the women who approached and/or smiled at me at the bar i was at by myself in the city the school im leaning towards is in, i can prob do better..... but i don't need really hot. once they reach hot, that area is satisfied. would it be cool if she was up for having 3somes? yes. she is only up for the wrong kind of 3some though, so it seems unlikely.

yes, i ask about the 3some very early on. i am able to get away with asking really offensive questions, because they are genuinely important to me, and women do seem to respect anything you say that you're genuine about.
Last edited by flexityflex86 on Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

flexityflex86
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby flexityflex86 » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:21 pm

clone22 wrote:As long as you're sure she's not gonna drug you, tie you up, remove all your valuables and both kidneys, I say go for it. Make sure she doesn't have enough access to your stuff that she can fuck you over, but dude, not having to worry about getting laid during 1L seems like some tiger blood material right there.

is it inappropriate to ask for pics to accurately determine whether or not the OP should stay with her?

i'm not gonna send her pics. there is no way that is a cool thing to do to her.

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esq
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby esq » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:24 pm

Your call my friend. Personally, being in a relationship has only helped me throughout my education. The pressure and time spent involved in single social life fades, and I've found that the stability that comes from this has improved my ability to accomplish my goals - it's called the settling down effect. It is a commitment though, and one that only you can personally understand. But If the relationship really is solid, I wouldn't throw it away because of law school. That's a lousy reason to throw a good relationship away.

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Ty Webb
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby Ty Webb » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:24 pm

flexityflex86 wrote:for my current city, very hot. based on the women who approached and/or smiled at me at the bar i was at by myself in the city the school im leaning towards is in, i can prob do better..... but i don't need really hot. once they reach hot, that area is satisfied. would it be cool if she was up for having 3somes? yes. she is only up for the wrong kind of 3some though, so it seems unlikely.

yes, i ask about the 3some very early on. i am able to get away with asking really offensive questions, because they are genuinely important to me, and women do seem to respect anything you say that you're genuine about.


Thread just got weird.

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northwood
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby northwood » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:25 pm

flexityflex86 wrote:
Ty Webb wrote:Answer is two-fold:

1) It's possible to maintain a relationship in law school. It requires a lot of maturity and a pretty well established relationship. I've done it long-distance, and with a little bit of hang wringing, I've sustained it throughout this year.

2) Ignore #1 because it's irrelevant here. The girl said she could see herself marrying you after two months. RUN.

On her behalf, I'm from a culture where people do get married quickly. For example, she's been in a foreign country at a friend's wedding this week.


You have to be upfront and let her know that you will be extremely busy- and she will have to do things on her own or else its just not going to work. She sounds super needy and clingy- and if things go bad, it could go really bad. You are about to embark on a highly stressful year, and a year that is very important for your future. However, you have some time before school starts to see how clingy she( and possibly you) is ( or if both are). Once couples move in, the dynamics of the relationship change- and it will either make or break the relationship- and add to the fact that you will be under a lot of pressure and stress, and this will only make it more difficult on the relationship. IMO this is too fast, too soon. But you will do what you think is best for you- so best of luck to you

clone22
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby clone22 » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:25 pm

flexityflex86 wrote:
clone22 wrote:As long as you're sure she's not gonna drug you, tie you up, remove all your valuables and both kidneys, I say go for it. Make sure she doesn't have enough access to your stuff that she can fuck you over, but dude, not having to worry about getting laid during 1L seems like some tiger blood material right there.

is it inappropriate to ask for pics to accurately determine whether or not the OP should stay with her?

i'm not gonna send her pics. there is no way that is a cool thing to do to her.

I was pulling your leg man :)

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20121109
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby 20121109 » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:27 pm

flexityflex86 wrote:wants to make love


Cute

Slimpee
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Re: Getting into a relationship before 1L

Postby Slimpee » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:29 pm

I haven't read the other answers but my advice is "no" if you're going away to school and "maybe" if you'll both still be in the same town.

I got into a relationship about two months before school. She was about 4 hours away so very manageable w/out being too close. I broke up with her in Nov.

At least for me, the transition into 1L was much more difficult than I thought. I think eventually i wanted some stability and wanted to control at least some stress in my life and breaking up with her was the easy thing to do.

Now that 1L is almost done I would be more inclined to entertain the idea of a relationship during 2L. While 2L will be busier, it will not be nearly as abrupt an adjustment so i'll better understand the stress that i'm dealing with.

Good luck, op!




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