I'd appreciate any critiques of my academic addendum here..

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pschmied
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Joined: Wed Jun 16, 2010 6:10 am

I'd appreciate any critiques of my academic addendum here..

Postby pschmied » Wed Feb 23, 2011 8:45 am

Addendum: Academic underperformance while enrolled at XXXXXXX between 1995-2000



My undergraduate record was not indicative of my potential. There were two conditions which I believe had an adverse effect on my ability to compete academically. First, I never realized how seriously unprepared I was financially. Youthful optimism led me to believe that this obstacle could be overcome with a modicum of effort without taking a realistic view of my circumstances. What little financial assistance I was receiving from my family ceased with the passing of my stepfather during my second year at XXXXX.



In addition, I lacked the required discipline needed to balance full time employment and the rigorous curriculum of a highly competitive university. I have since developed both the maturity and skills needed to balance work as well as other major life pursuits. Securing the stability and honest self-awareness needed to insure I never allow myself to be put in this kind of position again has strengthened my character and focused my ambition.

bmore
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Re: I'd appreciate any critiques of my academic addendum here..

Postby bmore » Wed Feb 23, 2011 8:56 am

You say 2 conditions but then you only say "first" and not what the second was (specifically). The "in addition" is related to the "first". I think that you had more financial issues then you expected and had a hard time balancing. How can you prevent yourself from being in this position again? I don't think you can. People lose jobs. The difference might be in how you handle it. I think you need to rewrite.

BeachedBrit
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Re: I'd appreciate any critiques of my academic addendum here..

Postby BeachedBrit » Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:11 am

Agree with above poster

pschmied
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Joined: Wed Jun 16, 2010 6:10 am

Re: I'd appreciate any critiques of my academic addendum here..

Postby pschmied » Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:19 am

good point, let me rework this..

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ladybug89
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Re: I'd appreciate any critiques of my academic addendum here..

Postby ladybug89 » Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:18 pm

Agree with the above posters, but I also think your first paragraph is kind of indirect/verbose. You say that you had financial troubles, but not why that made you underperform or how you'll not do that in the future (as the person above mentioned).

FiveSermon
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Re: I'd appreciate any critiques of my academic addendum here..

Postby FiveSermon » Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:27 pm

Don't really think either of these are addendum worthy. They will see your work record which addresses #2 and no clue on how #1 is relevant.

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TommyK
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Re: I'd appreciate any critiques of my academic addendum here..

Postby TommyK » Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:34 pm

[quote="FiveSermon"]Don't really think either of these are addendum worthy.quote]

+1

If you had an undiagnosed medical condition that caused you to miss finals, then super - write an addendum. It adds depth and context to your ugpa performance. If you weren't mature enough for college, I don't see the addendum as especially compelling.

clarsen
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Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2010 8:26 pm

Re: I'd appreciate any critiques of my academic addendum here..

Postby clarsen » Fri Feb 25, 2011 3:42 pm

FiveSermon wrote:Don't really think either of these are addendum worthy. They will see your work record which addresses #2 and no clue on how #1 is relevant.


+1

I completely agree that #2 will be covered by your resume, and I don't think it's the best idea to explicitly say you lacked dicipline. I also don't see how #1 is applicable. Honestly, how many 18 year olds are financially prepared when they head off for college? Isn't this why we have financial aid?

When it comes to academic addendums, I feel you have to have a unique situation that few can also relate to. Some things are just part of college life, and you have to accept that the adcoms are aware of this and take it into consideration when reviewing your application.

CanadianWolf
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Re: I'd appreciate any critiques of my academic addendum here..

Postby CanadianWolf » Fri Feb 25, 2011 4:06 pm

Consider:

My undergraduate GPA was adversely affected by a lack of funds which required me to work full time while attending a demanding university as a full-time student.




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