Academic probation addendum -- feedback?

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thedukeabides
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Joined: Fri Jun 25, 2010 4:33 pm

Academic probation addendum -- feedback?

Postby thedukeabides » Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:38 pm

Hi TLS crew! Would love to get feedback on my academic probation addendum. I contacted the admissions office at my target school (not t14) and guy said that couple paragraphs would be appropriate.

After the spring 2003-2004 semester, I was placed on academic probation at the [Big Ten Univ.] after failing two classes. I began college with little thought of my career goals and a mistaken belief that academic success would come easily. I was also working full-time, and struggled to find an appropriate work-school balance. The next semester, I earned a 3.5 GPA and was cleared of probation. I approached the rest of my undergraduate career with similar vigor, earning an overall 3.133 GPA in classes after probation and adding an additional major, History, to my degree.

Even though I’m still suffering the consequences of my ‘lost’ semester, I consider it a blessing. I learned not to be complacent, and to approach each stage of my career with a plan for the future. I set tangible one-month, one-year and five-year goals, a practice I maintain. I also continued to work full-time to finance my education, but I sought out jobs and internships that offered experience pertinent to the career in political advocacy I desired. In fact, those jobs lead directly to the position I currently hold. I decided to apply for law school after much thoughtful consideration and self-evaluation and am fully prepared to take on the challenges of a rigorous academic program.

CanadianWolf
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Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: Academic probation addendum -- feedback?

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:49 pm

Too long based on the relevant content.

CONSIDER: "Working full-time, I struggled to find an appropriate work-school balance."

DELETE: The last sentence of the first paragraph.

DELETE: The entire second paragraph.

ADD: (as the final sentence of your first & only paragraph) "I continue to work full-time to finance my education while pursuing a double major in Economics and History."

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nihilism is key
Posts: 167
Joined: Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:32 pm

Re: Academic probation addendum -- feedback?

Postby nihilism is key » Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:59 pm

thedukeabides wrote:Hi TLS crew! Would love to get feedback on my academic probation addendum. I contacted the admissions office at my target school (not t14) and guy said that couple paragraphs would be appropriate.

After the my Spring2003-2004 semester, I was placed on academic probation at the [Big Ten Univ.] after failing two classes. I began college with little thought of my career goals and a the mistaken belief that academic success would come easily. Because of this, I chose to workI was also workingfull-time, and struggled to find an appropriate work-school balance. The next semester, I chose to focus on school rather than work and I earned a 3.5 GPA and was cleared of probation. I approached the rest of my undergraduate career with a similar vigor, earning an overall 3.133 GPAin classes after probation and adding an additional major, History, to my degree.

Even though I’m still suffering the consequences of my ‘lost’ semester, I consider it a blessing. I learned not to be complacent, and to approach each stage of my career with a plan for the future. I set tangible one-month, one-year and five-year goals, a practice I maintain. I also continued to work full-time to finance my education, but I sought out jobs and internships that offered experience pertinent to the career in political advocacy I desired. In fact, those jobs lead directly to the position I currently hold. I decided to apply for law school after much thoughtful consideration and self-evaluation and am fully prepared to take on the challenges of a rigorous academic program.

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: Academic probation addendum -- feedback?

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:02 pm

I don't think that the OP chose to work full-time because grades would come easily; the OP worked full-time out of necessity to pay for college, according to the original second paragraph.

thedukeabides
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Jun 25, 2010 4:33 pm

Re: Academic probation addendum -- feedback?

Postby thedukeabides » Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:05 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:I don't think that the OP chose to work full-time because grades would come easily; the OP worked full-time out of necessity to pay for college, according to the original second paragraph.


This, for sure. I worked all throughout to pay for school.

To clarify, I graduated in 2007.

Was going back and forth on the 2nd graph, seems I'll be cutting it. Thanks!

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Knock
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Joined: Wed Jun 10, 2009 3:09 pm

Re: Academic probation addendum -- feedback?

Postby Knock » Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:23 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:Too long based on the relevant content.

CONSIDER: "Working full-time, I struggled to find an appropriate work-school balance."

DELETE: The last sentence of the first paragraph.

DELETE: The entire second paragraph.

ADD: (as the final sentence of your first & only paragraph) "I continue to work full-time to finance my education while pursuing a double major in Economics and History."


This, especially underlined.

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nihilism is key
Posts: 167
Joined: Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:32 pm

Re: Academic probation addendum -- feedback?

Postby nihilism is key » Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:27 pm

thedukeabides wrote:
CanadianWolf wrote:I don't think that the OP chose to work full-time because grades would come easily; the OP worked full-time out of necessity to pay for college, according to the original second paragraph.


This, for sure. I worked all throughout to pay for school.

To clarify, I graduated in 2007.

Was going back and forth on the 2nd graph, seems I'll be cutting it. Thanks!


I was just editing to illustrate what I think an addendum should sound like, I don't know your story, so what I wrote many not be accurate for your scenario, but I stand by my suggestions overall. Also, as it reads now, it is not clear that you were working out of necessity. The way I read it was "i thought college would be easy, i chose to work full-time". HTH.




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