Critique my Criminal Addendum, please! Forum

[lafemmeriante]

I feel like it's a little lacking in voice, and I don't know how to end it. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks!
[EDIT: removed Addendum]

[bjc314]

I think the biggest problem is that you take no responsibility whatsoever. Regardless of whether or not you feel you were guilty of any wrongdoing, you plead guilty, and I don't think it will go over well to use the phrase "allegedly" and to treat the incident in such a perfunctory manner. You need to explain why you regret what you "allegedly" did, what you learned from it, and why it will not happen again.

[lafemmeriante]

(bump)

Anyone else?

[asoli]

Yeah, I read this as "Here's what I got caught doing, but hey I have not been caught since." They want to read why it was a mistake and that it won't happen again. Maybe take about the experience of rehab and how you've changed for the better?

[lafemmeriante]

XXX