Critique my Criminal Addendum, please!

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lafemmeriante
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2010 7:15 pm

Critique my Criminal Addendum, please!

Postby lafemmeriante » Mon Oct 25, 2010 8:21 pm

I feel like it's a little lacking in voice, and I don't know how to end it. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks!
[EDIT: removed Addendum]
Last edited by lafemmeriante on Mon Nov 22, 2010 10:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

bjc314
Posts: 65
Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2010 11:20 pm

Re: Critique my Criminal Addendum, please!

Postby bjc314 » Mon Oct 25, 2010 8:42 pm

I think the biggest problem is that you take no responsibility whatsoever. Regardless of whether or not you feel you were guilty of any wrongdoing, you plead guilty, and I don't think it will go over well to use the phrase "allegedly" and to treat the incident in such a perfunctory manner. You need to explain why you regret what you "allegedly" did, what you learned from it, and why it will not happen again.

lafemmeriante
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2010 7:15 pm

Re: Critique my Criminal Addendum, please!

Postby lafemmeriante » Tue Oct 26, 2010 1:40 pm

(bump)

Anyone else?

asoli
Posts: 55
Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2009 7:38 pm

Re: Critique my Criminal Addendum, please!

Postby asoli » Tue Oct 26, 2010 1:44 pm

Yeah, I read this as "Here's what I got caught doing, but hey I have not been caught since." They want to read why it was a mistake and that it won't happen again. Maybe take about the experience of rehab and how you've changed for the better?

lafemmeriante
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2010 7:15 pm

Re: Critique my Criminal Addendum, please!

Postby lafemmeriante » Tue Oct 26, 2010 2:52 pm

XXX




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